A couple of weeks ago, T1 was with her best friend playing and they were collecting balls from one of those machines where you have to pay RM1 for a rubber ball. I don’t know why but they seemed to love those balls. Balls, balls, balls!!! I should have just opened up a balls factory if I’d known how popular these little balls were! Well, the moms eventually ran out of money and the kids had to stop buying those balls. Phew.
But between the 2 of us Moms, we still had RM3 in total and the girls insisted that they used it up to buy 3 more balls except that with 2 girls and 3 balls, who would get 2 balls and who would get 1? It didn’t seem fair, did it? I initially suggested that they saved the RM1 and just got one ball each but no, no, no! Why in the world would they fore-go the chance of an extra ball when they had the cash for it? So off they trotted to waste our cash on those rubber bouncy balls. THREE, not two.
Then still, they had the dilemma. Who should have the 2 balls and who should have 1? I suggested that since they INSISTED on buying the extra ball, perhaps they could share it and take turns keeping the 3rd ball? Both girls immediately disapproved. T1 immediately said that because they didn’t meet each other regularly, it wouldn’t be fair on the person who had the ball longer. Besides the person who didn’t have the ball that week would be sad!!! So drama…….
Then she quickly suggested, “Why don’t we give the ball to her sister, T2??!!!” But her friend quickly defended her stance and said, “No, but that means YOU would have it!!! Why don’t I give it to my cousin instead?” I could see that this was going to be a long, drawn debate but I was curious to see how it would pan out and curious to see how creative the girls would become. We still hadn’t come to a conclusion.
For the longest time, I’ve been teaching T1 to share and be kind and generous and despite gentle reminders on that very day whilst they were having their little dilemma, she was NOT giving in. She REALLY wanted to win. She REALLY wanted that extra ball. *sigh*
In the end, T1’s best friend’s Mom reminded her daughter that she already had so many of those balls at home, did she really need another ball? And T1’s best friend gave in, “OK, T1….you can have the ball.”
T1’s face lit up like a fire cracker and grabbed at the ball. I was so embarrassed and admittedly, disappointed. I had so wished that my own daughter could have been as gracious as her best friend. And it got me thinking, how do we instill generosity in our children? I have talked, trained, shown by example……and it hasn’t sunk in yet. Not the way I have wanted it to anyway.
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it’ very hard P, I try to get her to share, and always be the ‘giving’ one but it always ends up in a bitter cold war, like why I don’t love her as much and chose to be generous to other kids and not her. I am trying, still am.
I have to two sons,now i have come to understand that each one of them is so different in traits and attributes, my lil one is ever so caring and giving but the older one is self-centred,, as a parent i have learnt to see them as different and guiding them accordingly,
hey first time here,,,,,
Now that your girl has the ball, it will be a good idea to tell her to share with her younger sister?
Think of it this way..if u have suggested earlier before what your friend did to her daughter, your T1 would also be as gracious as her best friend too..
Kids are kids.. they need to be “reminded” at certain occasions.. putting our words in practice then..
Lastly and not least.. next time bring more money to get even share, ok? :p
Hi mamapumpkin,
THanks for popping over earlier. Your writing sytle reminds me of an old friend. Nice to meet you.
Cheerio
Contentedmom
i’ve been drumming this into Ashley’s head for the longest time. sometimes she would share, and sometimes won’t. i guess i’ll just continue to “talk” to her and keeps my fingers crossed that she’ll turn out to be a caring human being 🙂
I wouldn’t expect too much of a 6 year old, really. Just keep preaching and also practising. It is a child’s survival instint (if you can call it as such) to want things for themselves. Give her some time and space to grow up with the natural instint of wanting to be generous. Won’t you think that would be much better?