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I lunched with 2 moms today who also had daughters Ts age. Dita has been with her husband for 18 years of which 5 they were married. Yasmin has been with her husband for 10 years. Dita’s husband is Malaysian Chinese while Yasmin’s is French. They are both of similar ages – the husbands, and they both run their own businesses.

What caught my attention was the lack of attention these husbands were offering their wives and their toddlers. Of course it’s none of my business and it certainly made me cherish my husband even more so than I already do. I thank my lucky stars everyday that I found the Hubs, but when I hear of chauvinistic men, my gratitude for his existence in our lives leaps even higher.

Dita’s husband arrives home from work at 10pm or thereabouts on work nights. Then on weekends, he wants to play golf with his buddies. His reasoning is that he works hard to provide for the family, their enjoyment and on the weekends, he needs a break. And a break to him means betting on a game of golf and a Carlsberg after. This weekend, Dita’s husband had agreed to take them for a holiday to Sabah, a 3 hour plane ride out of KL. He cancelled last minute because he decided to join his buddies for golf in another city.

Of course Dita was pissed! Any woman would be. Especially when the husband does not contribute to the child’s life. At all. But if at all, sometimes over the weekends. Like, he was around for her 2nd birthday party. I asked Dita if she was happy. Absolutely not was her reply but with that came, “But what can I do? I’ve tried encouraging him to spend more time with his daughter but his priorities are not here. I don’t want to force him anymore….”, she said sadly. I almost felt bad for being so lucky.

I suggested that perhaps because my husband was in New York for so long, his thinking is very non-Asian, non traditional. Dita shot out, “What about Yasmin’s man then? He is French!” We concluded that it had nothing to do with culture or upbringing but the character of the man.

Yasmin’s husband on the other hand, works from home. But he doesn’t lift a finger because he is a very busy man. And despite Yasmin being pregnant, still doesn’t help with any of the chores or caring for the toddler. He makes remarks that hints that mothering is such an easy job. Why is the woman complaining? He even scolds her when she fails to get his taxes filed on time when she has to struggle with a toddler and morning sickness into our unfriendly income tax department whilst he sits and watches his Philips screen. WTF?

Again, it is none of my business but I wouldn’t stand for it. These men would’ve been given the boot. They claim that it is men like my husband who spoils the market by showing women that nice men exist.

My husband returns home from work on average between 7.45-8pm most nights unless there is an urgent deadline involved. He doesn’t work weekends. The moment he returns home, he would have his dinner, wash the dishes, play with T, give her milk, read her a story, brush her teeth, have a shower, does laundry or fills the kettle, watch the idiot box whilst he massages me, then sleeps. Exactly in that order.

On weekends, he looks after T. I can choose to stay home or I can go out. Because he has not mastered the art of multi-tasking yet, I still have to plan T’s meals before I leave, should I leave. If I stay home, he does the housework. He also plays with T or takes her out for an activity. He spends QT with her. She loves him with all her heart to the sun and back. Daddy is her playmate. And Daddy doesn’t scold her like Mummy does. Boy, does she have him wrapped round her little fingers…..

He’d travel the moon for her if he had to. But he is strict when it comes to sleep. And sweets. Because he knows what’s good for the little one.

My mother and all her friends, and even a lot of MY friends, who have seen the Hubs in action, tell me and remind me time and again, to treat him well as he is a gem. That I know. Little things like how when we are in a busy restaurant and T insists on moving around and walking about, it is the Hubs that gets off his chair. Not me. Little things are what others see that I sometimes unintentionally take for granted. Like if he is really tired one night and doesn’t give me a massage, I suddenly notice that something is missing.

He also provides for us. He has given us everything he has. Every single cent of his paycheck comes to us. Is my husband what they call the sensitive new age man? The one who treats women as equals? The one who is responsible and reliable? The kind that offers respect where respect is warranted?

Well, whatever you label this type of man, I sure hope he spoils the market more!

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Who is Mamapumpkin?
Mamapumpkin is a former Design Architect turned Multi-Million Dollar Digital Entrepreneur. She sets out to prove to all that you can have anything and everything that you want; if you have that fire of desire burning within and the drive to work hard. Even better with much love.

Mamapumpkin has not only grown corporate businesses successfully in the past and doubled her salary 5 times over 5 organisations but has grown THREE BUSINESSES to 7 FIGURES within an 8 year period. She now shows others EXACTLY HOW after retiring her own husband from employment. He is now the official dog walker, family driver, chef and THE BEST FATHER to their two girls and THE BEST HUSBAND to the woman who CHOSE HIM!

Mamapumpkin is the girl who has nothing but fights for everything including YOU. She is idealistic in her desire to put unbelievable amounts of money and extrardinary happiness into the lives of good people so we can change the world together believing in happiness for ALL. She strives to impact lives authentically wanting to reduce poverty cycles and enable quality education for all and always supports the voiceless. She believes we can all have a life of our own desires to enable real contribution into the world. But first, one needs to understand what this all means.

A beautiful life without limits.

If you wish to learn how to propel your life forward guaranteed, be brave to take action. Mamapumpkin's purpose is to build people. Her gift is to help them UNCOVER their HIDDEN GIFTS. She operates fairly and always leaves an impression. You either love her or not and she is alright either way.

She is a living testimony that women really can have a lot. Being financially and time free has enabled her to travel the world anytime, anywhere, doing anything with anyone, as she spends most of her days with her children, having fun, supporting others wherever she can. Also having fun.