After our Sun Yoga kids workshop today, T1 came home crying in rage. Why?
Before we headed out today, she had hurried into the kitchen to pack an after yoga snack. I had no idea what she had packed but later learnt it was Arnott’s chocolate teddy bear biscuits that were brought back by Nana yesterday after a long time of being away abroad. She had packed exactly 7 biscuits – 2 for herself, 2 for Alex, 2 for Gregory and 1 for T2 (due to size probably).
As soon as yoga ended, she went to get her teddy bear cookies only to realise that her sister had already gotten hold of the magic box first (which was fine) and she eagerly took one for herself, then went to ask Alex if he’d like a chocolate teddy bear. Within lightning speed because the word chocolate had traveled, 3 larger kids (probably between 7-10 years of age) ran to me saying, “I WANT CHOCOLATE COOKIES!!” and before I could react, they reached out to the magic box and grabbed one each for themselves. I looked at T1 and she looked at me and quickly got the last one for Alex and everyone had their cookies and were happy. They were chocolate-y cookies! Very nice. Probably not very nutritious but very nice nonetheless.
As soon as we got into the car though, T1 started grumbling about how rude those kids were and why didn’t I stop them? She went on and on about how if they had asked nicely, said please, she would have considered giving them some cookies but they never said please, and they never asked if they could have them, and worse, just grabbed them off me.
How could I have allowed it to happen!!??
*gulp*
I said that we should share what we have and really, they’re only cookies! We could get some more, for God’s sake……but really I felt at fault about it after seeing how upset it made T1 who cried for a long time smashing, tearing and crushing an old toilet roll holder pretending it was those kids. That took me by surprise and those kids too took me by surprise and grabbed those cookies in a flash, what was I to do???
What would you have done?
Post Mortem:
I asked T1 what she would have done had she been in their shoes and saw something really, really cool that she wanted; she said she wouldn’t even have asked.
If it had been me or daddy, or close family, she would then ask but anyone else, she would have waited to be offered or not have it at all.
She then immediately gave me an example from just yesterday when we were in Pangkor swimming and her friend whom she had met for the first time there had ordered some chips. I asked T1 to go order some for herself at the pool bar but when she went, they told her, last order bar closed for snacks! It was 5pm. Sometimes these F&B dudes are cruel. For the poor hungry child who loves chips, couldn’t they have made an exception?
She was so disappointed as she was hungry after all that swimming and jumping around and chips just sounded perfect yet she did not ask her friend although she really wanted some. Just some!! She said she was going to wait till dinner had her friend not offered and that would have been fine. But her friend did offer so she was truly happy.
I didn’t know about this chips story till the drama with the Arnott’s Teddy Bear Cookies today because after T1 got disappointed with no chips, I brought T2 out of the pool and went to shower; but heck, I must say T1 is way more polite than her own Mom. I would have just asked – not shy! I should be ashamed of myself……
SO. Should we teach our kids to ASK politely for what they want? Or should they wait till they are offered?
T1 says that at school, she never asks. If offered, she happily takes. Roles reversed, she offers to the kids she likes only.
**************************************************************************Who is Mamapumpkin?
Mamapumpkin is a former Design Architect turned Multi-Million Dollar Digital Entrepreneur. She sets out to prove to all that you can have anything and everything that you want; if you have that fire of desire burning within and the drive to work hard. Even better with much love.
Mamapumpkin has not only grown corporate businesses successfully in the past and doubled her salary 5 times over 5 organisations but has grown THREE BUSINESSES to 7 FIGURES within an 8 year period. She now shows others EXACTLY HOW after retiring her own husband from employment. He is now the official dog walker, family driver, chef and THE BEST FATHER to their two girls and THE BEST HUSBAND to the woman who CHOSE HIM!
Mamapumpkin is the girl who has nothing but fights for everything including YOU. She is idealistic in her desire to put unbelievable amounts of money and extrardinary happiness into the lives of good people so we can change the world together believing in happiness for ALL. She strives to impact lives authentically wanting to reduce poverty cycles and enable quality education for all and always supports the voiceless. She believes we can all have a life of our own desires to enable real contribution into the world. But first, one needs to understand what this all means.
A beautiful life without limits.
If you wish to learn how to propel your life forward guaranteed, be brave to take action. Mamapumpkin's purpose is to build people. Her gift is to help them UNCOVER their HIDDEN GIFTS. She operates fairly and always leaves an impression. You either love her or not and she is alright either way.
She is a living testimony that women really can have a lot. Being financially and time free has enabled her to travel the world anytime, anywhere, doing anything with anyone, as she spends most of her days with her children, having fun, supporting others wherever she can. Also having fun.
You should never open any food or give out invitation cards (to parties) in a place/classroom unless EVERYONE in that place is given one. That is how the kids are taught in North America. If you want to invite or give to only certain people, please do it OUTSIDE of the room where everyone is. This is to avoid people getting hurt feelings because they did not get it or encountering rude kids (like T did). So next time, tell her to do it outside of class so the other greedy monkeys don’t steal from her.
My say is to ask. But as always, how you choose personally to behave may not be how others would. So, that is a bigger lesson to be learnt. Manners don’t always beget manners, hence expectations need to be managed.