It’s funny how when you expect something, the exact opposite happens. This always happens to me…..before you read this, I suggest you only do if you have lots of time (i.e. after the kids are asleep) and go get that cup of coffee. Hot chocolate may be a better idea…..otherwise come back another time.
As always, I was already dying for T2 to come out after 6 months being inside of me. I’d had enough. Pregnancy and I don’t go. It will never go. They told me that all pregnancies are different. Yes, they were different but they were BOTH BAD so I’ve had enough.
We all got dressed up to go to the hospital, Tee, the Hubs and I, bright and early, on the 1st of August for my scheduled C-section. I was feeling really happy and positive – she was finally coming out and I had the trusted people who delivered T1 perfectly again. My support group were due to arrive at 10.30am in order to take T1 away for some entertainment so the Hubs and I could make our scheduled 11am date at the operating theatre.
When we got to the hospital, we had to fill in lots of forms, then were informed that the room I wanted was not available. After making lots of noise, they agreed to give me the first available room. In case you don’t know, I can be a primadonna in getting what I want, when I want, if I really want; with the operative word being CAN. It’s just like being a bitch. I CAN be the biggest bitch but most times I’m nice.
In the meantime, we had to share a room with another Mom who’d just given birth. It was really awkward. We had the space nearest to the door so her husband, who kept walking in and out of the room always had to pass the 3 of us, all yakking away about the impending arrival. Then what was really awkward was when the nurse came and asked me if I wanted her to shave me or if I wanted to shave myself.
SHAVING YOUR PRIVATE PARTS
That was a major life decision. Did I let the nurse do it and have the whole hospital know that I had a beautifully carved flower shaped vagina amidst well coiffed black grass? Or did I do it myself and risk murdering my own vagina?
I had 2 people in my cubicle, the Hubs and Tee, both of whom I wasn’t even sure I was comfortable with watching me shave my pubes. I wasn’t sure I was comfortable with a stranger peering into my vagina either. The Hubs looked at me and I looked at him, and we both started laughing. Tee had no idea what was going on but she laughed along.
I chose to shave myself and asked to borrow a mirror. Have you ever tried shaving your pubic hair when you have an enormous belly blocking the view? Even with a mirror, I couldn’t see what was going on and it was a case of the blond leading the blind. Sorry, the blind leading the blind, the former and latter being me and the cheap plastic disposable shaver.
The nurse came when I was half way done to ask how I was doing. Err…not very well, thank you. She had a look then suggested I needed to rub in some shampoo onto my pubes. SHAMPOO??? Ok, that’s a first but I followed orders. Rubbed some shampoo and continued blind business. I finally gave up and called the Hubs in (who incidentally was hiding in the toilet with Tee, shaving pubes is a scary thing….) to finish the job. What fun! He couldn’t stop laughing. Did my private parts really tell jokes? It was sure an eye opener for Tee.
PANIC ATTACK
When my private parts were finally bald, I received a phone call from the leader of my support group saying they were caught in a jam as KL was having some street demonstration and that they needed to find another way to get to the hospital on time. You know, people? Why do you have to choose to demonstrate your grievances on the day that I’m about to give birth to the most magical baby? You have the whole year round to do that!
Nevertheless, I gave my brother instructions to take the DUKE Highway from Ampang and he said he’d never taken it. Brilliant! What if they got lost? Took a wrong turn? What were we to do with Tee if they didn’t arrive on time? Dress her as a surgeon and hope people will mistake her as Dr Dwarf? Smuggle her under my blankets and hope we wouldn’t get caught? I didn’t want to go into the operating theatre alone because I’m an idealist. We had a plan and I intended to stick by the plan! I prayed that my support group would make headway and get here in one piece, on time.
So there we waited in our little cubicle praying my support group wouldn’t get abducted by Malaysian police aliens. Or run out of gas. I was perspiring and hyperventilating again, can you tell that I suffer from panic issues? I kept praying the room door wouldn’t open as that would have meant that it was time. But open it did as I heard the squeak as hospital doors do but couldn’t quite see beyond and Hallelujah! My support group burst into my double room the very same time the nurses came to wheel me out. A super quick goodbye to Tee and we were on our way for THE EPIDURAL.
WE NEED BLOG PHOTOGRAPHS!
The wheeling to the OT was an eventful one. I was so excited and kept asking the Hubs to take pictures although he wasn’t so comfortable in doing so. I must have asked him about 5 times before he gingerly took the camera out of his pocket and snapped one pic. ONE PIC!!! The nurses and attending staff were all amused by my desire to take so many photographs, even of boring hospital corridors, well with me in it! But the Hubs just developed some allergy towards the camera which made me hyperventilate (again!) and have an asthma attack. So after I gave him a brief and explained why it was so important to take lots of photographs, he started snapping, very, very discreetly……
*ROLL EYEBALLS OVER MY HEAD THREE TIMES OVER*
I was also very, very chatty to all in attendance. I was excited, people. She was finally coming out!!! At least I entertained everyone during our boring corridor-lift-corridor-lift-corridor walk.
THE EPIDURAL
The Hubs and I had to part for awhile (him to get changed into OT clothes and me, to get my epidural) and boy, was he glad to hide away the camera. They lay me down and opened my hospital gown at the back and started prepping for my epidural. It was cold and somehow, I was nervous despite expecting this process to go smoothly as it did the last. You see? I expected. The last epidural I had with Tee was so perfect that it was beyond perfect. I recommended the anesthesiologist to everyone as he not only made it painless, he explained every move he was about to make and was super gentle.
The man is now 75 years old. Things are slightly different. He poked the needle into my back. Took it out. Started prepping again. Poked another needle in. Took it out. Prepped again. Opened a new needle. Poked it in. Started getting frustrated (I could tell by the tone of his voice). Took it out again. Then he asked me to get up and sit down instead of lying down so I did and asked if anything was wrong. He said he couldn’t seem to find my spinal cavity. I asked if it was because I was too fat? He said no, not sure why. He poked again whilst I bent over some pillows. I was nervous as hell. Shit, I was pissing in my pants hoping I wasn’t going to get paralysed from this experience!!!
I prayed like I’d never prayed before and after eight needles……EIGHT BRAND NEW STERILISED NEEDLES WERE POKED INTO MY SPINE, EIGHT TIMES, MY FRIENDS!!!! (I now have a polka dotted back!!!)…….they finally RUSHED me to the operating theatre, by which time we were late and it was a big panic rush everywhere. It was nerve wrecking!! Like I was in some kind of emergency, except that I wasn’t. They were just rushed for time because when you get out of your time zone in OT, you start paying extra charges on the rental of the operating theatre and your whole schedule for the day turns upside down.
He must’ve pumped in a heavy dose of meds as I started losing sensation of my left leg immediately. I asked why only my left leg was paralysed and not both legs and he gave me some reason irritatedly so I daren’t ask again. In my first epidural, I don’t remember being paralysed on one leg only. I was shit worried. Was I going to feel my abdominal walls being laser cut open??? OUCH!!!
Thankfully, by the time they shifted me onto the operating table, my bottom half was completely numb and they struggled to slide this huge whale across. It was embarrassing to say the least. Poor people, what a job!
ARRIVAL OF T2
Within seconds of the chaos, T2 was crying and I saw her being pulled out. She had started crying even before she was fully out. They were cries of joy, I was so happy. 2 minutes later, the Hubs ran over to say she looked normal. Praise God!
A few minutes later, she was brought to me and this time, I really got to touch her soft skin, feel her and kiss her……it was magical. Because you know why? My incredible precious baby, she reached her right hand up and gave me a little wave (with those tiny fingers, oh…..too cute….), then smiled and whispered, “Hello, Mama….” She was clean, calm, and I got to kiss my newborn baby’s cheek. Now you know I’m really hallucinating…..
With Tee, they brought her to me for exactly half a second to flash her private parts and whisked her off as she was crying her head off.
They then brought T2 with the Hubs off to the nursery to get her jabs etc whilst my placenta was dug out.
I remember the sewing up part (I could feel scary tugging of thread on my lower half), I told my doctor to make sure I am sewn beautifully (like the last time, there was no scar at all, it completely disappeared) and she did. They then pushed me to the freezing recovery room where I kept asking how long more before I could go up to see my baby. They put a heated light on top of me (which they didn’t before) to keep me warm and lots of blankets. They told me I needed to stay there for an hour but I protested and said I needed to see my baby urgently as I needed to breastfeed. Within half an hour, my doctor had called them to instruct them to send me up.
When I was up, the rest of the family had arrived and we were still stuck in that room. I asked for my baby and they told me she was busy right now. Busy? BUSY?? I shall tell my baby when to be busy. Please bring me my baby now! She’s had more than enough time to get jabs! Thankfully again, my doctor peered through my room door soon enough to inform me that she had instructed for the baby to see me now. Thankfully again, because if that didn’t happen, I would have screamed and screamed and SCREAMEDDDDDD…..(and you would have thought I was giving birth to an elephant), till I got to see my baby.
Alas, my precious was brought to my arms and onto my breast immediately and she sucked whilst my sexy aunt squeezed my breast so more colostrum poured out. In the midst of it all in our very busy room, the nurse came to tell us that we could now shift rooms. Because our own staff count (meaning my family) was larger than theirs (the hospital ward), we helped them shift me. They should give us a rebate. Someone carried and rocked baby T2 to our new room (and that is when all this rocking business started!), someone carried my hospital bag, someone carried Tee’s present, someone carried the flowers, someone carried the hospital paraphernalia (they do give you some freebies), someone pushed my bed with me on it……I just remember it being a very busy time.
And then finally, T2 was settled into our new room and we all just chilled in my new room. I began feeling pain at night as the epidural wore off but tried my best to take as little painkillers as possible. I wanted to be a hero. After a 2 night stay, I was discharged. Still extremely happy.
**************************************************************************Who is Mamapumpkin?
Mamapumpkin is a former Design Architect turned Multi-Million Dollar Digital Entrepreneur. She sets out to prove to all that you can have anything and everything that you want; if you have that fire of desire burning within and the drive to work hard. Even better with much love.
Mamapumpkin has not only grown corporate businesses successfully in the past and doubled her salary 5 times over 5 organisations but has grown THREE BUSINESSES to 7 FIGURES within an 8 year period. She now shows others EXACTLY HOW after retiring her own husband from employment. He is now the official dog walker, family driver, chef and THE BEST FATHER to their two girls and THE BEST HUSBAND to the woman who CHOSE HIM!
Mamapumpkin is the girl who has nothing but fights for everything including YOU. She is idealistic in her desire to put unbelievable amounts of money and extrardinary happiness into the lives of good people so we can change the world together believing in happiness for ALL. She strives to impact lives authentically wanting to reduce poverty cycles and enable quality education for all and always supports the voiceless. She believes we can all have a life of our own desires to enable real contribution into the world. But first, one needs to understand what this all means.
A beautiful life without limits.
If you wish to learn how to propel your life forward guaranteed, be brave to take action. Mamapumpkin's purpose is to build people. Her gift is to help them UNCOVER their HIDDEN GIFTS. She operates fairly and always leaves an impression. You either love her or not and she is alright either way.
She is a living testimony that women really can have a lot. Being financially and time free has enabled her to travel the world anytime, anywhere, doing anything with anyone, as she spends most of her days with her children, having fun, supporting others wherever she can. Also having fun.
ur hubby never shave ur private part b4??? lol i can never shave on my own at 9 mths pregnant. hubby cowtim for me. he actually enjoy doing it! hahaha
8 needles??? the way u write like no pain at all.
wah! so long! but so entertaining 🙂
Am reading this post now, laughed so much, I don’t think I can sleep. Patsy, you are really funny, despite anything at all, you make every situation humorous !
Really funny…but how come C-sec need to shave down under??
this is sooooo sweet :p
OMG!!
interesting and i LMAO when reading the shaving part. my epidural experience was very bad..even worse than the c-sect 🙁 i was not given a lot of blanket while in the freezing room and was shaking from the cold *pouts*
I was jabbed thrice 🙁 The part of shaving the pubes had me in stitches, Itelya!
hey..how come you get to wear your glasses in the OT? Mine wouldn’t let me! Imagine.. blindly trying to see what’s happening!
Haha, I had basically no choice.. Shaving pubic hair was one of the nurse’s duty (not mine), as to prepare me to OT. It was such an embarrassing moment 😛
Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl. I LOVED this part:
***The man is now 75 years old. Things are slightly different. He poked the needle into my back. Took it out. Started prepping again. Poked another needle in. Took it out. Prepped again.****
You are so brave! I love it 🙂
patsy..its such fun to read ur blog…i’m loving it! hahhaa!! which hospital is that? my gynae came in with jeans while i was having my nerve wracking,hair pulling time!! reading ur blod gonna be one of my entertainment when i go back to dubai! 😉 big flying kiss to ur T1T2!!