My blood pressure rocketed to Jupiter today at about 4pm.
I’ve already had a busy week preparing for Tee’s birthday party, hosting 3 play dates at my home, baking, and what with my lack of sleep and the stress of having a confinement lady aunty who does exactly what I tell her not to do…….
My new one month old helper asked me if she could have a handphone today.
WHAT!!!!????????????????
I rolled my brain to check if it was the month of April and if she was playing an April Fool’s joke on me but my brain, despite being pregnant recently and all, clearly told me it was August. The month that has Merdeka Day that I’ve been counting the days towards as it is the day of my own independence from CONFINEMENT, so when she asked if she could have a handphone, the look of horror on my face must have told her to spin a tall yarn about why she needed a handphone.
Mind you, she went on her first OFF DAY to the agent’s house last weekend for a day and congregated at the house with 50 other FILIPINO women. If she told me she didn’t get the idea of getting a handphone from one of them, I’d squeeze carrot juice using her armpits and make her drink it.
I was SO SHOCKED that after only 4 weeks, she had the nerve and gall to dare ask me for a handphone. Her reason? Oh, her husband has mysteriously disappeared to Manila and dumped her children with his mother and she is really worried about her kids. Fair enough. Just 2 weeks ago, I allowed her to call her kid from my house phone because it was her kid’s birthday. So within a week, her husband takes off. Did he not know he was taking off a week earlier? Why hadn’t he informed her then? To cut a long story short, I just told her that I had to ask the Hubs first. There was no way she was going to get a handphone. It would only start communication with all her new friends……
I told her that she had to work hard and earn things that she wanted but I was still very stressed.
Do your helpers have handphones???? How should I manage this? I don’t mind her calling home at all but I DO NOT WANT HER TO HAVE A HANDPHONE!!! She will be busy sms-ing all her friends although she promises that she’ll only use it at night to call her kids. I asked, aren’t your kids sleeping at night? She said after 10pm they are still awake. HAIZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then, something which really irks me is that every time my baby cries, CLM would rock her back to sleep when in actual fact, babies cry for a reason. They are either hungry or have a soiled diaper, amongst other things. Every time she cries, I say “she must be wet” and the CLM would say, “Oh, but I just changed her so she can’t be wet,” and then ignores checking her diaper. I would then personally walk there with my still slightly painful wound to check it myself and lo and behold, every single time that I’ve checked, baby has a soiled diaper.
Why is everyone making my life so difficult?
**************************************************************************Who is Mamapumpkin?
Mamapumpkin is a former Design Architect turned Multi-Million Dollar Digital Entrepreneur. She sets out to prove to all that you can have anything and everything that you want; if you have that fire of desire burning within and the drive to work hard. Even better with much love.
Mamapumpkin has not only grown corporate businesses successfully in the past and doubled her salary 5 times over 5 organisations but has grown THREE BUSINESSES to 7 FIGURES within an 8 year period. She now shows others EXACTLY HOW after retiring her own husband from employment. He is now the official dog walker, family driver, chef and THE BEST FATHER to their two girls and THE BEST HUSBAND to the woman who CHOSE HIM!
Mamapumpkin is the girl who has nothing but fights for everything including YOU. She is idealistic in her desire to put unbelievable amounts of money and extrardinary happiness into the lives of good people so we can change the world together believing in happiness for ALL. She strives to impact lives authentically wanting to reduce poverty cycles and enable quality education for all and always supports the voiceless. She believes we can all have a life of our own desires to enable real contribution into the world. But first, one needs to understand what this all means.
A beautiful life without limits.
If you wish to learn how to propel your life forward guaranteed, be brave to take action. Mamapumpkin's purpose is to build people. Her gift is to help them UNCOVER their HIDDEN GIFTS. She operates fairly and always leaves an impression. You either love her or not and she is alright either way.
She is a living testimony that women really can have a lot. Being financially and time free has enabled her to travel the world anytime, anywhere, doing anything with anyone, as she spends most of her days with her children, having fun, supporting others wherever she can. Also having fun.
That’s bad of the CLM. You must INSIST that she checks the diaper, no matter what.
My maid’s been with me for 8 years. She asked for a handphone in her 5th year. I don’t know what’s the deal with this maid of yours, so gutsy huh? You did the right thing by telling her that she has to earn the things that she wants, as time goes by. Don’t feel bad or stressed over this. Be firm about it and that’s that.
Take care now, and relax. *hugs*
about the hubby takes off; i hear this excuse so often! don’t be tricked ya. my maid only asked for a hp after 2 years working for us.
and you must be more strict with ur CLM, you are paying her right.
confinement month is always very challenging physically and emotionally. continue to be strong ya. 😀
My maid asked for a handphone after being with us for 6 months… I said NO. She can use the house phone alright, why need a handphone? I just don’t trust her with one…
CLM are all thinking of shortcuts… just be firm, that’s all… after all, your merdeka is coming 😉 Relax!
LOL…no idea. No experience..but handphones costs money…and if she wants, she can earn enough to buy it herself.
You ain’t no fairy godmother man… you just the employer!
My maid has a hp because its “required” cos mine is a myanmar and UN will call her every month.
I guess for ur case, if she want to call or sms…set a specific time a week just for that. after finishing her calls/sms..u keep back the phone. or u can limit RM10/month…that’s all. my first indon maid…i limit to RM10/mth using a phone card. phone is my normal telkom phone. if she want to sms..its thru my phone..but her sms mainly is urgent messages.
No handphones, period. If she wants buy those Ring Ring Cards to call home or use your handphone and you deduct the charges from her salary. That’s what I do. Getting her a handphone is the start of a list of troubles.. more issues will come. If she has off days and meets at agents house,, issue will soon crop up. Be preparead to deal with them. CLM is leaving soon right ? Bear with her. My second CLM was worst, she’ll toy with her own toes and handle baby without washing her hands, sleeps through the night with baby at 16 C air cond and fan till baby sneezed in the morning. Don’t let CLM get on you, just bear with it for a while more but be firm with your maid. She’s with you for 2 years so set things right from the start .
My helper has a hp since 4 yrs ago (she’s b with me for 6 yrs already). So far no prob as she has to communicate with her 5 kids & parents. Butt then again, it’s not advicable to get 1 for a new maid.
Mine asked for one after 3 years and I still didn’t get her one. I told her that I never stopped her from using the house phone and even asked her to call home ocassionally.
Your CLM is pissing ME off too!
Congrats on T2! Snapped a cute photo of Tee during Anya’s leaving party at kindy and will send it to you. About the handphone – she certainly got the idea from the other maids. Are you using CCS? Agency house sounds familiar. We managed to put off the phone idea for our Filipina maid for nearly 2 years by explaining to her that she couldn’t possibly afford it – especially when they first start work, most of their wages go to the agency. A sensible girl will see that you’re being reasonable. Good luck!
1. I wouldn’t have let my maid call from my house (don’t want her to learn how to use my telephone and make international calls). I only offered her to buy a card (deduct from salary) and we can make a call from outside but she decided to send her daughter a beautiful gown instead as it is too wasting money on calls (after being brained washed by her smart employee here). Reason is that I do not want her to miss home, hear unwanted stories from home with calls.
2. I allow her to write letters (but using my friend’s address, u can guess why right?). Sorry for being mean, but I just need to be careful just in case she leaks out too many personal information about her whereabouts which i think can endanger my kids at home.
3. No, I don’t like her to mix around with other maids. Even if I do, I will only allow her to have friends with certain maids of my friends (where me and my friends already warn them upfront about comparing what each other enjoy here). After all, I told my maid that her salary is far higher than my neighbour’s and sharing things like this will only make the other party unhappy.
4. My maid could enjoy any luxury (food, clothing) as she wants but she makes work for it herself. HP isn’t a bad idea, just that we do not want them to talk to other party so much thus neglect their concentration on work. Whatever it is, I am more concern about our safety if she accidentally leak out too much info about ourselves.
Help
Sorry, had butter fingers earlier. Helpers in HK are very spoilt.
They get off days and buy their own hps. Can’t be helped. What I do is, I keep my maid’s hp throughout the day. She gets in back after work at 930pm and I take it back at 1130pm. I don’t want her talking or SMS throughout the day or talk till late at night only to affect her work the next day.
She’s smart though, asked to keep her sim card after a while due to privacy. Now, I have to spot check if she has a 2nd phone lying around. Try to delay her in getting one at all cost! Never be too kind by buying her one
Horror stories of maids and that’s why my Hubby is adamant not to get one, even though I have been whining and pining for a helper since we moved to our own place.
And CLM?? I had 2-1 for the 1st month and another for the 2nd month, just to have a helper to help around with the baby, cook for me those delicious confinement food while I could get more rest and recuperate from my C-section. But huh! Instead of them giving me troubles and headaches, it was all those $^()&)$#% close relatives of mine which were the bloody busybodies and lots more crap which I shall save from commenting here to prevent profanities from popping out in your site ;).