I think that majority of problems in this world are a result of poor communication skills. Seriously. If people only learnt to communicate properly and clearly and soundly, the world would really be a happier place.
But how does one brush up on their communication skills? Is it personality? It is practice? It is intelligence? A combination of several factors?
I guess what people need to do when communicating first of all, is to think of what they are about to say and put themselves in the other person’s shoes and think about how they would react if someone else were to say the same things to them. Of course, it’s not as straight forward as it sounds but all this come with experience.
My youngest brother called me the other day from Melbourne.
“Che, I need your help.”
“What?” I’m already on my defense because if at all he needs my help, it would be about money.
“I need to borrow some money. Either from you or Mom.”
“I have no money to lend you and neither does Mom. Why do you need money?”
A long story continues about how he needs to find a new place to stay. The more he talks, the more suspicious I get because the impression we all have of him is that he is a spoilt brat. And this impression is formed through no fault but his own, thus we really cannot be blamed. If he wanted this impression to change, then he would have to change.
Without enough information and with his style of approach, he totally got me on the defensive wall and I was hesitant in helping him. Who wants to help a spoilt brat who needs to grow up and learn the meaning of responsibility? For every response he had, I had a counter response and in the end, the issue was unresolved and I am still waiting for him to take some action. But you know what? Why should I chase him for it? If he had the sense to grow up, he would take charge and revert to me with the things that I have asked for.
It is typical of society, this attitude. It’s everywhere in the work force. People take no action, then later they blame others for their misfortune. I, on the other hand, always protect my interests so that I cannot turn around to blame someone else. It is a victim attitude. It is the attitude of majority of the work force in KL – nobody wants to work! Every one wants a free ride. Easy money. Easy job. Fast success. Sorry to break it to you, honey, but it does NOT work that way. Sure, there are those who have had the luck. One in a million…….so don’t hope and wait. Work for it!
Instead of how my brother had approached me, which was a rather stupid way I might add (especially from such a smart kid), he should have first explained that his housemates were moving out of his current house and as a result of THAT, he would no longer be able to afford the rent as he would have no one else to share the rent of the entire house with. THAT would be his reason for needing (not wanting) to look for another place.
And then he could have added that he’d been on the lookout for new places but all of them seemed to be more expensive already from his little room in this shared house. And then, he could have asked me what I thought he should do?
Don’t you think that would have been a far better approach? Than “Che, I need your help!”
*sigh* Not only my brother, but so many people have so much to learn…….how are they going to sell any ideas in life if they cannot even communicate the simplest of concepts!?!
Thus starts the domino effect of poor communication. And they all come tumbling down……
**************************************************************************Who is Mamapumpkin?
Mamapumpkin is a former Design Architect turned Multi-Million Dollar Digital Entrepreneur. She sets out to prove to all that you can have anything and everything that you want; if you have that fire of desire burning within and the drive to work hard. Even better with much love.
Mamapumpkin has not only grown corporate businesses successfully in the past and doubled her salary 5 times over 5 organisations but has grown THREE BUSINESSES to 7 FIGURES within an 8 year period. She now shows others EXACTLY HOW after retiring her own husband from employment. He is now the official dog walker, family driver, chef and THE BEST FATHER to their two girls and THE BEST HUSBAND to the woman who CHOSE HIM!
Mamapumpkin is the girl who has nothing but fights for everything including YOU. She is idealistic in her desire to put unbelievable amounts of money and extrardinary happiness into the lives of good people so we can change the world together believing in happiness for ALL. She strives to impact lives authentically wanting to reduce poverty cycles and enable quality education for all and always supports the voiceless. She believes we can all have a life of our own desires to enable real contribution into the world. But first, one needs to understand what this all means.
A beautiful life without limits.
If you wish to learn how to propel your life forward guaranteed, be brave to take action. Mamapumpkin's purpose is to build people. Her gift is to help them UNCOVER their HIDDEN GIFTS. She operates fairly and always leaves an impression. You either love her or not and she is alright either way.
She is a living testimony that women really can have a lot. Being financially and time free has enabled her to travel the world anytime, anywhere, doing anything with anyone, as she spends most of her days with her children, having fun, supporting others wherever she can. Also having fun.
