The little imp has just turned two but ever since I started working, she’s been acting up and crying a LOT. She cries because she’s constipated, she cries because she doesn’t get her way, she cries because she wants the boob, oh man…….she is just one perpetual crying baby!!!
I cannot take it any more!!! It drives me absolutely bonkers!!!!
To be fair, she’s been through a lot of changes of late and it must be very unsettling for a 2 year old. First and foremost, she used to sleep with me. Then she slept with her Daddy. Then we experimented and put her to sleep with her Che-Che (and that worked really well! Yeehaaa!!!) BUT one day, Che-Che went to stay with Nana and suddenly, the entire routine went crazy. T2 started waking up at night again, sometimes several times a night just to look for Mama. Man…..
So we went back to the original plan that she would sleep with Dada.
That was just the sleep.
She has gone on a more severe hunger strike. We always knew she was a picky eater but lately? She doesn’t even eat bread! Nor pasta! Nor rice! Nor ANYTHING!!! OK, that’s not true. She will eat cake or chocolate. But you can see where I’m coming from and pulling my hair out. I love my child and I want her to be healthy and not be malnourished and get seriously ill. Food is very important in a growing child. It determines where they end up. A boy with Asperges Syndrome can improve quite significantly with enough fish oil, for example. So because of her lack of food intake, T2 suffers from the worst constipation EVER. This involves 2-3 days of ALL DAY CRYING and dozen diaper changes from poo stains. She either keeps it in or it’s too hard to come out. She does not eat an ounce of fibre (no fruit nor vegetables at all). People have so many suggestions and I really invite you to come and deal with my child or at least try it out and see how you can make her eat something she does not want to. The sugar and crap that she DOES happily consume does NOTHING for her and in fact destroys her life. Just watch. I’m at my wits end and really know not what to do. People think it’s so trivial and common and if she doesn’t want to eat proper food, let her be and let her eat all the chocolate in the world. Please, I beg you……go do some reading. Go read what it does to a child her size.
Next up? Poor T2 has been having a series of maid changes in her life. Suddenly, Mama no longer has time for her and new aunties keep coming and going. Then she’s dumped at her Nana’s house and another aunty comes to help out. All this is extremely unsettling to a child her age. *BIG SIGH*
Because of this, she has been crying A LOT. She’s super clingy a lot of the time and I can barely work efficiently because she wants to be carried a lot of the time.
*BIG SIGH*
I know not what to do. I want to work. But I also want my baby to be happy. The Hubs suggests school. She just turned two! Then I asked the Hubs if perhaps it is because T2 isn’t receiving enough attention? He refuted it saying that T1 had ALL our attention and she’s still bloody demanding! True……
What shall I do? What shall I do? What shall I do???
I need to work less.
Yet. My psychology friends who are ‘experts’ with kids say that the more attention you give them, the more they need it and the less you give, the less they need it. What’s your take?
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Patsy, having to say, I am the last person to give any advise since I suppose you know your stuff and u must have done so much reading and survey etc….
I think children need familiarity… I guess the keep changing helper part is definitely not gonna help… my boys fuss too when they are put to a new routine, new place and new people at initial stage.. but trust me… kids adapt well…. but they need to see a routine.. and they will settle down..
is there anyway you could place her in a playschool around your work placE? survey and check out some place that u really comfortable with, then help her to settle down with it?
My no2 fuss a lot for I place him in my mum place for weekdays too.. (OUch, bad mommy…) but I want to work… he cried the first few weeks, everytime he sees I driving to my mum place he will say he doesn’t want to go to his ah ma house, and want to go back yie yie house…. and he will wailed and hug me wanting to follow me back etc….. but he settles after a week or so… and now he understand mummy needs to work and he is cooperative…
good luck ok… it doesn’t make u anyless a very good mama to T2… coz u care….
how about durians?
heh! dun mean to poke fun, but we are gonna have some durian fiesta today! woohooo~
I wish I had an answer for u. But i guess u just need to keep on trying n trying (new food) until she accepts. One way, is to let her be. Cos when she is extremely hungry, she will definitely EAT. Also, u must be FIRM. Never give in. It takes 21 days for adults to form a habit..what’s more for a 2yo??!! P went to Kindy at 22 months.
Try making high fibre muffins from fruit pulp. We use the pulp from juicing to make into muffins (very cake like!) – juicer pulp from approx 10 apples & 10 oranges & 4 carrots (plus some celery pulp thrown in as well) makes 24 muffins, so for each muffin that she takes, it’s the fibre from almost one whole fruit! You can also hide pulp fibre in brownies 🙂 Recipe for the muffins I use is http://cookingwithchopin.blogspot.com/2011/04/apple-carrot-muffins-aka-juicer-muffins.html
Hey Patsy, sorry to hear what you have to go through and that little T2. When I was small, my mum was busy and I came from a big family. Food doesn’t come always to me, and there are times that I skipped lunch, breakfast, then at night, we will quickly eat any food that we see on the table. At the end, I grow up to be a person that is okay, healthy yes, no, but if anyone offer me food, I’ll grab it and eat. When my mum is off from work, and she cook, she just need to put the food on the table, you eat or you don’t eat, she just leave it up to you. Well, usually, if I miss that, that’s it, no more food. I have 5 siblings and I’m the third in my family.
So, when I was pregnant with L.A, I thought I’ll like to bring up my baby like how my mum did, I mean when she raise me up that way, I was not choosy and just eat what she offered to me. When I saw my friend chasing and forcing her skinny baby to eat, I told myself, I’m not going to do that. I was very sure.
Until L.A arrives.
Did I mentioned, my skin was very sensitive due to lack of proper nutrition? When I was in secondary school, people will called it enzema, but to me, I defined it as total discomfort. Years later, I found out that if I take multivitamin, my skins gets lesser scars, and more beautiful. I knew it, lack of vitamins.
I was in love, with L.A when she arrives. That tiny baby, she looks helpless. I swore I will protect her and be with her. Well, occasionally I get up and go after her to put that food into her mouth.
From a person that hates cooking, I turned to be a person that will cook for her.
Recently, I undertake a new project, so I don’t get to spend much time with her – though I will pick her up everytime after work. Haha, there is two nights, when she was tired, she slapped me. I was angry at first. I couldn’t understand. But now I know. She wanted my attention and time, but she communicate it in a different way. Ok, L.A mummy got it, stop slapping mummy.
Ever since she turns 15 months, she is fine when I send her to my mum’s place. But she go a BIG NO when I send her on Monday, because we always spend quality time together over the weekend.
In my personal view, I think the more time I spend with the L.A, the more independent she will be. But I think you know best, you have two babies 🙂
Well, every parenthood and scenario aren’t the same, too, agree?
I hope you feel better and know that you are not alone. If you have time, you can read to this tips. I tried and it works for L.A.
1. I served carrots, and eat it in front of her, doing clown face, and demonstrate how yummy it is.
2. I let her play with the food at the high-chair. The one goes into her mouth (BINGO), the one don’t, it’s okay. I learned this when I saw she pick things on the food and put into her mouth….
3. Treat her like an adult. Give her drumstick chicken?? But gotta observe her.
I think once the baby taste the food and fall in love with it. It’ll get easier to coax them to eat, haha.
Good luck, Patsy. I hope you will have a good weekend with all at home.
Please sayang T2 for me.
The eating part is so like my JE. Since my maid left two months ago, I am having problem feeding JE. She doesn’t eat at all except sweet stuffs. Don’t eve want formula. She is on the boobs the whole day. 🙁
i went thru hell with my 2. So, no comment because both way does not help anyway 🙁
I went through the same thing with my boy because Hubby was away, he changed from babysitter to my parents, we moved off to a new place and finally, he became less clingy when we settled down!
My girl also faced the same issue when I changed 3 maids within a span of 5 months – Maid A was rough with her, Maid B was an angel but left to start her own business and now, we are with Maid C.
Maid C cannot cook, clean and is a clear dope and her only saving grace is that she is quiet and is patient with the baby. Although she drives us all nuts with her bad cooking and disorganization, we’re sticking with her till the girl is 2.
Then, I’ll send her to a half-day playschool near our place, take over the cooking and hire a cleaner again.
Here are some suggestions on how to get T2 to eat:
a) Place some cut up fruits of different colours (watermelon, orange, seedless prunes, banana circles) e.g. in front of her. She’ll definitely pick one! And then she’ll move on to the others…
b) Maybe T2 is teething? I know my girl fusses like crazy and went on a hunger strike when she sprouted her molars! She’d only take minimal milk then.
Chuck some teething rings in the fridge and then let her gum them. Can you believe my girl actually took a few bites of her brother and me to ease her gums??? LOL
Lastly, the psychologists are right e.g. orphan babies do not cry because they realize nobody will come to pick them up. Thus, no attention = no love = no response = no self-esteem. Do we want kids like that?
Our kids are not orphans. They have parents because the parents had them thus, the parents should love them. Like what 24yomummy is doing 🙂
Hope this helps. God bless and hope you’re having a good Sunday!
I will spare you from my advice since you have enough above to compile a book. Instead, how about you ditch your kids with me for a Sunday? Perhaps T2 may eat if her boyfriend is around?? You know, people eat more when they are happy. At least that was what happened to me last week…..
Oh, I’m serious about the above. T1 can help me entertain B1 and B2 while maid and I will take care of B3 and T2. Whole lot of alphabets and numbers come together.