My Mama loves flowers. She always has and always will. She is attracted to floral prints, made flowers a career for some part of her life and is always surrounded by flowers. At one point, she used to even buy ME flowers and it was great as there is nothing more refreshing and alive than a huge vase of FRESH flowers sitting on your dining table. Or wherever.
Today is my Mama’s birthday. She is fast approaching 60 and I cannot help but wonder if she would even see her 60th birthday. That is a sad state of affairs for me and my brothers but we will have hope and pray that she will live beyond, many more years beyond………
On my Mama’s Birthday today, I would like to voice my unspoken gratitude.
“My Dearest Mama,
Before I even begin, I am already tearing and my heart feels heavy. I know I am such a wuss unlike you who can pose a pillar of steel in any circumstance and not shed a tear. How the heck you do it I will never know but I must be on the extreme other end of the cry baby scale. It has always bewildered me how someone with the largest of hearts, and I truly mean the largest, can contain sadness without expressing it but despite your lack of tears, I also know that you do it, show your bravado, because you need to protect us, your children. You would hate for us to see your pain, physical and emotional, and even with all your sufferings, do not call upon us to help you with getting lunch. When was the last time you called me to help you with anything? Seriously, when???
Everyone assumes that being in your position, you would have help, but little do they know, that you receive not an ounce. It’s true. Not an ounce. Despite your very weak state, you still drive yourself to the Doctor weekly when we happen to miss out on when you’ve decided to go; you still clean the entire home yourself and iron the boys clothes despite warnings not to touch them, you still cook a table full of food for all of us when we should be caring for you! Your threshold for pain is insane.
No amount of gratitude can be expressed in words so I shall just blurb what comes out.
First and foremost, THANK YOU for being the absolute BEST grandmother to both my girls. I cannot be happier for my girls who think the world of you and would sacrifice any amount of chocolate, presents, toys or games just to make a trip to Nana’s house to play with Nana. It is their dream to live with Nana! Unfortunately, space limitations and locale dictate otherwise.
My girls will forever remember Nana as the one who plays with them on the bed, whether you play horsey, or riding the bus/train/aeroplane, or ‘UNDER!!!’ as T2 calls it, and God only knows what else you guys do in the room as there is always a loud commotion of hysterics and crazy squeals of laughter every time they enter the room with Nana. They will remember bath time with Nana because only Nana will allow them to luxuriate in the bath for what seems like hours, with bubbles, taking turns to wash each others hairs, scrub each others backs, concoct liquid soap potions, cook, measure, pour, splash, play boat, and wet the entire bathroom floor till it becomes a swimming pool, and get dead raisin fingers. Too much fun!
My girls will also remember Nana as the one who will give them any food, ANY food, whether it be junk or gourmet (which annoyingly they are now accustomed to!) or laboriously prepared and cooked just for their special favourites; take them anywhere be it the playground downstairs or the playground on the next planet, and truthfully, buy them the superficial material goods that they desire. Nana is also the one they call or run to whenever any of them gets scolded by us and immediately, they would have Fort Knox Security enabled……..till they get home that is.
Nana, oh Nana. The girls have so much STUFF to associate you with – the handmade quilts, the hand knitted cardigans, the crazy much material goods that they get so easy, but most of all, I am assured that they appreciate their precious time with you. The time that you spend watching them at playgrounds, the time that you take to play with them on many occasions and let them bully you despite your pain, the time that you take in the kitchen baking and decorating the many, MANY cakes with them and then have to CLEAN UP, the time you take with them to read and tell stories, the time you take to laugh with them and their silly jokes, the time you take to teach them how to sew, the time you take to do all the amazing CRAFT with them, the time we travel together (THE BEST!), the time we go to the supermarket together, meals together, games together……..oh, there is just too many things to list!
Below, Nana teaches T1 the straight line stitch (I don’t know what it’s called) after she’s learnt how to cross-stitch (that, I know!) and T2 looks on curiously.
Mama, THANK YOU for the lessons you have imparted upon me. It is because of you, I was wise in choosing the perfect partner. I will never thank you enough for that as it probably was the single biggest decision of my life – just imagine, choosing someone you will be stuck with for life……It better be darn good! And it is, so I thank you. Throughout my youth and boyfriends, you always had something to say about every single one of them and you were never wrong. Never. You read men like a children’s book and despite not necessarily showing it, you know how to read people. Boy, do you know how to read people. Of course, in my hormonal teens, I did not want to listen to you about MY boyfriends (who were all very good boyfriends, just not good enough for me according to you!) and you were right! I DESERVED the BEST!!!
Thank you for teaching me about friendship, the many times I have come crying to you as a teenager for all the lousy people who broke my heart from sheer cruelty and peer pressure because I was good in everything (those of you reading this who know who you are, I forgive you); being a desperate kid wanting to fit in was not what you wanted for me and it is something I never want for my kids, so THANK YOU for instilling this never desperate for anything trait in me which I shall download onto my own girls. I have already started as T1 is a sensitive girl and there are mean parents out there who brainwash their own kids into being mean kids too. Sad but true. You see, monkey see monkey do. You have a rude parent, you will get a rude kid. You have a parent who is aggressive, it is likely the kid follows suit. So despite being bullied, teased, ignored, taunted and purposefully made to incite jealousy; T1 is now learning to stand her ground and not get hurt by less mannered kids. These kids do not deserve her time of day at all. T1 is secure in the fact that the love of her family is enough to get by. Any nice person out there is a frigging bonus.
THANK YOU for being there for us with the greatest advice every time one of us gets stuck in this wheel of life. I have no idea where we would be going to once you are no longer with us but I would expect that we would pray for the answers and you will deliver. THANK YOU too for your fucking brilliant ideas. We thank you for sharing all your creative juice and gene codes with us. You really are smart enough to be a Noble Prize Winner, if only you had the slightest interest and ambition. You fool so many with your humility but I’m afraid your high forehead is a dead give-away. Tok-Tok will not be where he is today without your ideas. I will not be where I am without your ideas. The boys will not be where they are without your ideas.
THANK YOU for always giving. You are always giving to us and never taking. How is that fair? Because we are your children, we completely take it for granted and continue accepting. I wish you didn’t give so much to everyone else though. Sorry, but I am selfish that way not because I want more but because the people who do not care for you or worse, demean you and spread rumours that you only pretend to be sick, are truly sick. Perhaps give to all deserving but please, just forget those that don’t. I’d rather see you give to the old man stranger who needed medicine who couldn’t afford it(which you did) than the friend who keeps borrowing money for unnecessary purposes(which you also did). I’d rather see you give to the children’s homes (which you did) than support undeserving relatives (which you also did). You get the picture. We ask nothing of you except to live this life as fully as you can and with as much love from us possible, and seriously, just do whatever makes you happy. You should have no ounce of compassion for undeserving souls.
THANK YOU for growing such amazing confidence in me and for crafting my heart. Tough love? Who knows! Whatever the case, it shines. And I don’t just believe it, many people have said so not to my face! I remember being the most insecure girl on the block so I empathise now whenever I meet someone who doesn’t have enough self esteem. And as for my heart, I pull the stops as I do NOT want to have a heart like yours. It is just too big, too pure and too selfless. I may have a big heart thanks to you but I do not want to be taken advantaged off and trodden. I know my brothers beg to differ because somehow you’ve instilled in them that giving is never wrong and opening up your heart completely (something I don’t think I’d ever do!) is never wrong too. If others trample on it, it is their karma; but it is the calling of any good person to give freely, to love freely without limitations. Man, I can’t do that! Maybe one day, but I doubt it.
THANK YOU for thinking of me all the time. It’s the little things that count and I know you always think of me, of us, my girls, your children. I know you think of many others too. Your gestures, however small, in remembering what I like to eat, what I like to do, what I need help in, is more than enough to assure me of your abundant love. And we’re not even hitting the big ticket items. THANK YOU Mom!!! You have helped me so much for the last 30 years till you sold me to my husband, and then you helped US. Stop helping and let us help you instead!
THANK YOU for healing my pain when I was sick or down in the past. It has been more than 20 years now since I’ve last been down but you really are the sweetest Mom ever. You would take me shopping! Or for a holiday! Or bake me some chocolate cake! Or say the right words to cheer me up instantly! Oh, I would want exactly the same for my daughters so thank you for leading the way in this.
Right, Mother. This has taken me 4 hours to write already because I keep getting interrupted by a little pest so I shall post this now but will pick this up again later because there is still so much more to say. I would have liked to have been more poetic about this but T2 just won’t let me. So,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA!!!!!!!!!! I love you from here to the end of the Universe and and five thousand gazillion times there and back!!!”
From:
Your ONLY daughter. The one who will always come home to you.
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A Mother’s love, is sure to find
A way to comfort, ease your mind
She knows just how, to build you up
When you’re so down, and can’t look up
You love the way, she makes you feel
Like you’re so special, her ideal
Her thought must start, with God above
To bring such caring, with such love
And as it flows, like gentle rain
It surely helps, when troubles pain
The love from mine, is oh so clear
I only wish, she’d be forever here
Her warming glow, will be missed one day
Even though, I seldom say
But I know she will leave her gift behind
To help me through, when I may pine
And that’s the feel, known deep inside
Her faith and love, I still confide
by Roger J. Robicheau (adapted)
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Having said that, there are some Mothers out there who are manipulative, selfish and do not give a care about their own daughter’s true happiness so Mom, I THANK YOU that you are far from these type of Moms, the ones who manipulate their own daughters for their own gains.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
I am so grateful that ALL you want for me is the best for me.
**************************************************************************Who is Mamapumpkin?
Mamapumpkin is a former Design Architect turned Multi-Million Dollar Digital Entrepreneur. She sets out to prove to all that you can have anything and everything that you want; if you have that fire of desire burning within and the drive to work hard. Even better with much love.
Mamapumpkin has not only grown corporate businesses successfully in the past and doubled her salary 5 times over 5 organisations but has grown THREE BUSINESSES to 7 FIGURES within an 8 year period. She now shows others EXACTLY HOW after retiring her own husband from employment. He is now the official dog walker, family driver, chef and THE BEST FATHER to their two girls and THE BEST HUSBAND to the woman who CHOSE HIM!
Mamapumpkin is the girl who has nothing but fights for everything including YOU. She is idealistic in her desire to put unbelievable amounts of money and extrardinary happiness into the lives of good people so we can change the world together believing in happiness for ALL. She strives to impact lives authentically wanting to reduce poverty cycles and enable quality education for all and always supports the voiceless. She believes we can all have a life of our own desires to enable real contribution into the world. But first, one needs to understand what this all means.
A beautiful life without limits.
If you wish to learn how to propel your life forward guaranteed, be brave to take action. Mamapumpkin's purpose is to build people. Her gift is to help them UNCOVER their HIDDEN GIFTS. She operates fairly and always leaves an impression. You either love her or not and she is alright either way.
She is a living testimony that women really can have a lot. Being financially and time free has enabled her to travel the world anytime, anywhere, doing anything with anyone, as she spends most of her days with her children, having fun, supporting others wherever she can. Also having fun.
You always write very well 🙂 Love reading all your posts! Btw, can you tell me how do you deal with yourself emotionally when T1 is bullied or when you see her so sad or being taunted? Like what do you tell your daughter to build her up again”
I have a 3 yr old, and trying to prepare myself mentally or emotionally for those coming years..I think my heart will break if my daughter is being bullied. argh. I don’t think my heart can take it. T T
And I would like to wish your mum Happy Mother’s Day!!! She really sounds like a gem. She’s very lucky to have you as her daughter, and vice versa. And i hope that the cancer cells will slow down so that you will have many many more years with her.. 🙂
What can I say? Wow.
Wishing nana a very happy birthday, I think she wants nothing more than to be surrounded by laughter and chatter by family. May she be blessed with good health too despite whatever ailment she may have now, I hope the pain will go away, or at least be bearable.
SOBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB!!!!!!!!!!!
Can really feel the “emotions” and “touchy feels” you are having while writing this post!
Bravo to your mom, may she stay healthy and fabulous… 🙂 Happy Birthday Auntie 😀
Luv
Molly & family 🙂
Tears are rolling down my cheeks reading this post. Both of you are such gems. Pls convey my birthday greetings to your dearest mum & shall pray for her
Oops…my first comment did not appear!
Anyways, I just wanted to say that you’ll be stronger than you think because your Mom raised you well 🙂
She’s an amazing woman and would love to meet her one day. Happy birthday to her and oh yeah, take videos of her with the kids every chance you get. I’m sure everyone will love them!
wow! you got me tearing too! happy belated bday nana and you’re both so lucky to have each other. for some of us, it’s too late to express our gratitude to loved ones who have passed on but for most of us, it’s still not to late. and your posts about your mama keeps reminding us that we should be thanking and showing gratitude to our parents all the time.
Happy Birthday Nana!!
Such a loving tribute. Sorry that she is so much pain. Take care Nana