Lessons my Mom taught me – Part 7 of 23

Mom said, “Friends will always come and go but the ones who are still there till the end, when you have nothing extra to give, yet they stay…..”

For 50 years of my Mom’s life, I was a keen observer of her friendships.

I looked at it as a multi-set Venn Diagram of friends moving around in and out, sometimes back in again, sometimes out for good.

There were a lot!!

Mom was the epitome of my friendship study for these reasons :

She was generous to a fault. I could see who left once she stopped giving.

She had powerful connections even before she was married but more so after because….. many people are weak with priorities and will suck up when needed.

She had so many fake friends and a dozen real ones, yet after she had cancer, most dropped off and today, less than a handful keep in touch with me on a regular basis.

You know how they say people are in your lives for a reason, a season or forever?

I totally witnessed it, embodied it and experienced it.

What I learnt is that we should never be attached to ANYONE, no matter how amazing the friendship is.

Change is the only constant

People change.

We change.

People grow apart.

We outgrow each other.

People’s priorities change.

Ours do too.

It does not matter who left first.

Loyalty

One thing I know for sure is that Mom was a very loyal friend to many. To date, her so called friends still owe her more than $150,000 that has never been collected.

Our home was a free hotel for more than a dozen vagabonds in need because she was just so kind.

One, who was a singer, told me as a teenager that I would be nothing without my dimples!!

Another shared that she regretted not studying, so that at least told me I better not have that same regret!

Mom went out of her way to help many of her friends. Yet when she was dying, hardly any came to visit.

And still, she never spoke badly of them.

She believed in kindness even when it wasn’t returned. That made me SO MAD!!

Free and without any conditions

She taught me that being a good friend wasn’t about keeping score. It is about showing up as LOVE, no matter what. Unconditional love.

Watching her through the years, I learned the most powerful friendship lessons :

Give freely, but anchor yourself deeply with strong boundaries.

Love without condition, but hold your high worth without question.

And when the world gets quiet and people fade away…..

Remember the few who stayed (thank you, my friend who stayed, you know who you are), and be that kind of friend to yourself first. Yup. Be your own best friend!

Well, Mom’s legacy isn’t about how many friends came to her funeral. Of course, it didn’t make it any easier being a muslim. Died at noon, underground by 5 pm …. I didn’t have the energy to inform everyone.

Her legacy is truly in how deeply she loved while she lived and I shall carry that with me always.

I miss her every single day.

Thank you for everything you did for me, Mom.

Your daughter x

#ohmyheart #love #friendship #continuingmymotherswork #loveaboveallelse

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Who is Mamapumpkin?
Mamapumpkin is a former Design Architect turned Multi-Million Dollar Digital Entrepreneur. She sets out to prove to all that you can have anything and everything that you want; if you have that fire of desire burning within and the drive to work hard. Even better with much love.

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