Giving without expecting

For the longest time, my mother has been trying to teach me this very big lesson, and after so many years of living, I must say that I still struggle with it. It is not that when I buy someone something, I expect something back (I don’t at all) or if I do something for someone, I expect something back (again, I don’t, just in case any of you get paranoid!) but inevitably, if I have been treating someone like my own sister for many years, for instance, and then to have them turn around and stab me at the back, I would get grossly hurt.

Actually, that would be an understatement.

But if I were spiritual at a higher level, it shouldn’t and wouldn’t hurt me. And although I strive very hard to reach a certain level of spirituality, it just hasn’t happened yet. Because I still get hurt!

Another thing is, I always feel that when you give (materially or otherwise), then you GIVE. You give with your entire heart and you give because you WANT to give. There is no other agenda but to bring a smile. So even if this person brings nothing back to you, it is fine! And if the person doesn’t smile, it is fine too and even if he smirks, it is fine. AND, nobody needs to know that you’ve given, because God knows.

Having said that, I’ll admit that I myself sometimes have an agenda. Like when I treat T1 to something for work well done, it is a kind of conditional giving, isn’t it? She will get treats if she does good work or behaves well. I’m not sure how I feel about that yet but I’m still doing it.

And when you get stabbed at the back, you suddenly recall the years of giving that you have done for this person, and you get seriously hurt and pissed off and frustrated and become one big emotional tornado. How is that worth it? But like I said, if I am getting hurt, then obviously I am expecting, am I not?

Nothing has happened of late and I am fine. These are just random thoughts although God knows how many times I HAVE been stabbed. I am still here standing, you stabbers!

It is when I give and get hurt that is when I want to shout out how much I have given. God dammit!

After months of time and late night hours given to a distressed person going through life upheavals (sacrificing my own family time, and even getting into fights with the Hubs for it) and then two years down the road when said person is all ok again, I asked for some company, but they were just not there for me. Does that hurt? Yes.

Another thing that’s pissed me off is when I approached a charity to offer some help, they really took the opportunity to sapu kow-kow! And this is why I no longer want to give to charities and keep having to shout out about this incident. My decision to give to charities have always been private (which is the way they should be) until this incident. Many charities here are money making schemes. Owners pay themselves hefty salaries and buy themselves lovely gadgets, all in the name of charity. How sick is that. I’m not saying all charities are like that, I’m just saying……

I’m not perfect. But I do hope that I will reach this level of spirituality and can give and keep giving without getting hurt. It really is a challenge.

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear. Would you agree that if you were on a higher spiritual level, then you would not get hurt from giving? Will I ever get there?

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Who is Mamapumpkin?
Mamapumpkin is a former Design Architect turned Multi-Million Dollar Digital Entrepreneur. She sets out to prove to all that you can have anything and everything that you want; if you have that fire of desire burning within and the drive to work hard. Even better with much love.

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2 thoughts on “Giving without expecting

  1. is there a difference between feeling dissapointed and hurt? i’m usually more dissapointed than hurt..it’s easier to pick myself up fr dissappointment rather than hurt. I just need a few days to get over it.. But if we are dealing with hurt, it’s something more emo, more torturing. I trained my mind with Mr. Unagi (or was it Mr. Miyagi???!)

  2. Hey Patsy, if you are truly looking for a charity organisation, Let me recommend one. They are not money making at all and I trust these people.

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