This was written a month ago and is no longer a problem now 🙂
Can I please have some ideas on what you feed your helpers? Mine is eating me to the poor house. I usually don’t like segregating food or portions and tend to welcome the helper into our home as part of the family. Having adopted this approach, I am now regretting it just a little. She eats 3-4 times what we eat and we eat expensive food. For example, if we ate a piece of tenderloin steak costing RM50 each, she would need 2-3 pieces for herself alone. The same for pork chops. We eat kampung eggs, brown rice, organic vegetables, organic pasta and organic cheese, and all the other healthier, more expensive food; and really don’t mind her eating the same but she eats so much! She eats more rice than me and my husband put together and then double that!
She is a big person (almost 6 feet tall!) so I can understand that she needs the energy but because I can not really afford it nor do I think it is fair that I am paying more for her portion of the food bill than for my own family, I am scratching my head about what to do. As it is, I am already paying her wayyyyyy above market rate for her salary plus a bonus incentive to boot. For example, she gets a pay rise for every 6 months of good work that she is here and if she can do consistent good work for the entire 2 years, she gets a few thousand extra to take home. On top of this, she gets monthly pocket money in a glass jar together with my kids, based on good behaviour. We went to an orphanage last week and the chef there told us that she was now getting RM800 per month and had to wake up at 430am to prepare breakfast for the 60 kids. She then spends her entire day cooking, chopping 7 chickens, peeling buckets of onions etc etc etc. I immediately shot a glance to my helper to CLEARLY rub it in that she was earning more than this chef here at the orphanage!!! What more, she didn’t have to wake at 430am but 7am!!!
Guess what she said later? She said the chef was lying…..the poor Indian lady! I asked my helper, what reason did the Indian lady have to lie??? My helper kept quiet. They are never grateful, are they???
Furthermore, she now only eats expensive fish and no longer eats cheap fish. She is free to help herself to any food in the freezer but now, she no longer cooks ikan kembong but prefers pak chong, cod or salmon. It isn’t her fault as she doesn’t know any better whether the fish is expensive or not, it just tastes better to her. She prefers organic almond butter and expensive jam and finishes my kid’s Skippy Peanut Butter in record time. My pocket is crying….what is the right thing to do? She even asked me to buy more McCormick Italian seasoning as she liked it very much. LOL! Can you imagine, I never expected an Indonesian helper to develop such European taste buds!
She takes very good care of my kids and she does a great job. She’s from Indonesia, 21 years old and I pay for everything she needs, clothes, toiletries, vitamins, whatever. What shall I do??? I really don’t know how to segregate food with people.
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The problem is now solved. I have spoken to her and have told her that we cannot afford to keep feeding her expensive food. If we buy a piece of steak, we will buy her the same piece of steak but only one piece. The same piece that I will eat, and the same piece that the Hubs will eat. No more seconds!!! If she is still hungry, she will have to cook extra cheaper food of Maggi Mee or whatever!!!
FAIR???
She was OK with it and didn’t show any attitude or anything. She’s happy to help us save money. Bless.
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It is good that you took the opportunity to talk to your helper. Share with her that it is unhealthy to eat large portion of food during meals. Best if small portions are taken, multiple times a day. Buy her biscuits, bread, bun/ pastries for her tea break. I think it should be able to fill her tummy for the next meal.
You are a good employer. She is very blessed. I am sure she is grateful to be working with you.
I am facing the same thing. My helper loves my nutella and skippy peanut butter too, she finishes one bottle in around 2 weeks. She also loves Mayonnaise which she can finish one bottle in 1 week… She’s probably gained like 5 KG since she join us 2 months ago. She’s not shy about it either. I bought a banana cake few days ago, and the next morning half of it was gone. I asked her about it, and she just answer me, Its very nice madam.. Sigh..I am still thinking how to solve this problem.
Can I get paid in food by you, too? That guy is lying, too. No way he gets up at 6am.
Hi I just wanted to comment that I’m disgusted with how Indonesian and Cambodian and Filipino maids are being treated by their employers in Malaysia . In fact this whole culture of having live in maids (or slaves) should be abolished…BANNED!!! They are humans just like us and if you want to welcome them into your home to live as ‘part of the family’ then don’t complain about them eating more than your family in total, waking late in the mornings etc. if you cannot accept that they will very gradually…naturally…CERTAINLY become accustomed to your food and lifestyle then set the boundaries and terms of employment AT THE VERY BEGINNING.
Don’t get me wrong I grew up in a moderately affluent family and we have had 2 maids at home helping my mum for as long as I can remember …I grew up hearing such stories and complaints from mum as well as we also consume what you refer to as ‘expensive food’ . However my views have changed dramatically after having lived overseas for 19 years and recently moved back home, I’m proud to say I have a child and have been caring for him together with my husband WITHOUT a live in maid and we are both lawyers.
All the best to you … Your blogs are very interesting by the way 😉