One of the very important things children need to learn from the start is to have empathy and compassion. According to the fabulous book above, children who have a higher emotional quotient get ahead in life at a much faster pace and go much farther in life. That is why when I first enrolled T1 at school, I made sure she went to a school that didn’t focus on any academics but more so on their emotional well-being. Children from a very young age are naturally born emotionally insecure and it is up to parents to ensure that the child’s environment is nurtured towards the child being a happy and confident child. The academics can really come later. Really.
Children need to have fun. They need to be allowed to grow at their own pace. They need to be praised. No matter how ugly their handwriting is, we are supposed to find the one good thing about it and praise that. Perhaps it is how round they have dotted their alphabet i’s. And it doesn’t matter if their drawing of a cat looks like a horizontal line, we are supposed to tell them, “That looks like a super hero cat!!!” or “That is a really skinny cat, did you starve her?” and NOT “Is THAT a cat? It doesn’t look like a cat. Here, let me show you how to draw a cat”– Praise, praise, praise……or at least make it positive rather than negative.
Is there such a thing as over-praising then?
Absolutely.
Praising your child blindly for every God damn thing they do or don’t do, is sending him or her to the pit holes. This will only spiral them into a severe insecurity zone because when they come out into the real world, they quickly realise that what Mommy said all their life that they were good at was really not true. And then they don’t know where they stand anymore.
Praise has to be genuine, honest and specific. There will always be something positive to say about something. If you don’t have anything positive to say, then you’re just not thinking hard enough. Of course, I am referring to children below the age of 10 here, the toddlers and preschoolers. As they mature, our parental role takes a twist again. We should always praise our child’s efforts on what they do rather that the end result. Like I told T1 that I was very proud of her that she tried her best in folding her clothes and putting them away. Never mind that I had to do it all over again. I didn’t have to tell her that.
Recently, we visited my grandmother and had lunch at some Thai coffee shop and my grandmother said she wanted to go next door to the pharmacy. I quickly took the opportunity to ask T1 if she could please accompany her great-grandmother and help hold her hand, since the old lady is 85 and can barely walk straight. T1 obliged without complaint and I was so proud of her. She could have said no and given some excuse, or asked me to do it instead.
It is important to instill a sense of compassion in children as once it is too late, it is just too late. Do you know kids who just don’t care? Everything has come so easy to them that they just don’t care about much at all! Our jobs is to make sure that they DO care. It is important to care…….
**************************************************************************Who is Mamapumpkin?
Mamapumpkin is a former Design Architect turned Multi-Million Dollar Digital Entrepreneur. She sets out to prove to all that you can have anything and everything that you want; if you have that fire of desire burning within and the drive to work hard. Even better with much love.
Mamapumpkin has not only grown corporate businesses successfully in the past and doubled her salary 5 times over 5 organisations but has grown THREE BUSINESSES to 7 FIGURES within an 8 year period. She now shows others EXACTLY HOW after retiring her own husband from employment. He is now the official dog walker, family driver, chef and THE BEST FATHER to their two girls and THE BEST HUSBAND to the woman who CHOSE HIM!
Mamapumpkin is the girl who has nothing but fights for everything including YOU. She is idealistic in her desire to put unbelievable amounts of money and extrardinary happiness into the lives of good people so we can change the world together believing in happiness for ALL. She strives to impact lives authentically wanting to reduce poverty cycles and enable quality education for all and always supports the voiceless. She believes we can all have a life of our own desires to enable real contribution into the world. But first, one needs to understand what this all means.
A beautiful life without limits.
If you wish to learn how to propel your life forward guaranteed, be brave to take action. Mamapumpkin's purpose is to build people. Her gift is to help them UNCOVER their HIDDEN GIFTS. She operates fairly and always leaves an impression. You either love her or not and she is alright either way.
She is a living testimony that women really can have a lot. Being financially and time free has enabled her to travel the world anytime, anywhere, doing anything with anyone, as she spends most of her days with her children, having fun, supporting others wherever she can. Also having fun.
This is a very good reminder for me. Gosh! I can learn so much from you, and in the meantime, I feel awful guilty to be lacking so much in my motherhood role so far. Is it late to mend it still?