So on top of our current woes that have been occurring one after another, yesterday I got a police summon for running out of parking money. Yeah, I brought my laptop out to SBX so I could work in peace (away from baby) and spent the whole morning working and lost track of time. Mind you, I’d already been stopped by police twice in the last month after not being stopped by police since I was a teenager! I was going to blog about it but just haven’t gotten down to it yet (there’s a funny story to it so we’ll eventually get there) but yup, suddenly, I feel as though my whole world is crumbling. Like God is testing me. And because of that, I deleted my bitch post. I am angry at myself for even allowing so much anger to come out of me, and I decided that I didn’t want any toxic posts in my blog.
This is a happy blog. It has my children in it.
Last night, after a birthday party, I suddenly felt really sick. I went pale and wanted to go home immediately. Everyone was still loitering around saying forever goodbyes and I just wanted to PUKE. I told the Hubs let’s go, let’s go and he saw my face, how ill it looked, and he suggested I went to the washroom first to let it out before I messed up the car.
I controlled myself by rubbing my own back till I reached the washroom, then released it all. I felt much better but still felt ill. Must’ve been something I’d eaten and no, I couldn’t possibly be expecting. We had arrived in 2 cars so I made the Hubs take the girls home because I couldn’t have dealt with either of them in my ill state. But when I was about to drive out of the parking lot, I’d stupidly placed the parking ticket on my dashboard and voila, it fell inside the dashboard. Great.
After paying the lost ticket fine, I finally came home and went straight to bed after a shower. It’s like, now is the time we needed to be most prudent with money and yet, I’m wasting all this money unnecessarily! What is wrong?
The next morning, I woke to start work and discovered that all my work that I’d done yesterday, had vanished. Not saved. I had been having some issues with my site and had been liaising with my host to resolve them, spam issues and what not and ever since then, it has been one problem after another.
I feel completely overwhelmed. I feel that there is a reason for this string of bad luck. I feel I need to pray.
Some people have been so kind – paying for my meals, paying for my coffee, giving me little things here and there with a show of support. I am so grateful and as I sit here typing this, I almost want to take 10 steps back and reflect upon life. I am certainly guilty of not giving my 2 girls my best. I have been stressed out most days and engrossed with how we’ll be making an income. I need to take a back seat and spend more time with them. Forget the income. If we have to sell the last twenty years of hard work, so be it. I need to give my girls what they need and the income has to be secondary. We will not starve, only lose all our material bits.
And after all your comments yesterday about J, *LOL*, I need to cleanse myself off her. NO MORE. Unfortunately, as much as I want to tell her, look, people don’t like you because of ABC and you need to stop (because I really think she may not know it?!), I have learned that it is not worth my time. I have in the past been brutally honest with some people (as I consider myself a really good friend!), and they have been hurt by it. Not all people can accept the truth so I’ve learned that it is no longer my place to tell someone things they’d rather not know. I always want to know but not everyone’s like me. When she next calls, I will not be picking the phone up. And I shall tell BOTH my parents the same. May God bless her.
And although I’m feeling pretty crappy, I am of course, grounded enough to realise that these troubles are nothing compared to the greater world. Neither of my girls have leukemia, my mother whom I love so much is still here with us today despite 9 years of fighting that ill-dreaded disease cancer, and I have the most wonderful husband beside me to hold everything together. So really, life is GOOD.
To everyone here who’s reading, I hope things are even better at your end!! Happy weekend!
**************************************************************************Who is Mamapumpkin?
Mamapumpkin is a former Design Architect turned Multi-Million Dollar Digital Entrepreneur. She sets out to prove to all that you can have anything and everything that you want; if you have that fire of desire burning within and the drive to work hard. Even better with much love.
Mamapumpkin has not only grown corporate businesses successfully in the past and doubled her salary 5 times over 5 organisations but has grown THREE BUSINESSES to 7 FIGURES within an 8 year period. She now shows others EXACTLY HOW after retiring her own husband from employment. He is now the official dog walker, family driver, chef and THE BEST FATHER to their two girls and THE BEST HUSBAND to the woman who CHOSE HIM!
Mamapumpkin is the girl who has nothing but fights for everything including YOU. She is idealistic in her desire to put unbelievable amounts of money and extrardinary happiness into the lives of good people so we can change the world together believing in happiness for ALL. She strives to impact lives authentically wanting to reduce poverty cycles and enable quality education for all and always supports the voiceless. She believes we can all have a life of our own desires to enable real contribution into the world. But first, one needs to understand what this all means.
A beautiful life without limits.
If you wish to learn how to propel your life forward guaranteed, be brave to take action. Mamapumpkin's purpose is to build people. Her gift is to help them UNCOVER their HIDDEN GIFTS. She operates fairly and always leaves an impression. You either love her or not and she is alright either way.
She is a living testimony that women really can have a lot. Being financially and time free has enabled her to travel the world anytime, anywhere, doing anything with anyone, as she spends most of her days with her children, having fun, supporting others wherever she can. Also having fun.
You are courageous and strong to be able to snap into it. It’s darn easy to just slip into a self-pity state but not you! As you said, look at the bigger picture. See what REALLY matters, and you will (have) realise(d) that all is good. God tests us in many ways but He also puts us in a situation for a reason. Take one step at a time and things will fall into place. I promise. Else I’ll get you another bottle of shower gel 🙂
I’m so sorry that all these bad stuff had to happen. What’s past is past, don’t dwell in them anymore. Always look forward. I can relate to this feeling of being overwhelmed.. and a funny day when everything that can possibly go wrong, will go wrong. In hindsight, some things are just not within our control, and some things are. Perhaps the negative feeling causes us to feel irritable, which in turn makes us lose our concentration, and muddle our thoughts. So you are right in saying that perhaps the best thing to do would be to take a step back, and breathe, say a little pray, cry if you must, and compose yourself, and hit the restart button. Start all over again. Life is really not a bed of roses, so I’ve learnt, and when it is, it’s just too good to be true, and will not last. I just want you to know that I understand what you are going through and I empathize. At the same time, I’m very relieved with the knowledge that you have a loving husband, parents who are there for you no matter what, and most importantly, two lovely intelligent girls. Take heart mama.. there will be good days too.
Have a good weekend too =)
This Friday I’m off. Let’s see if I can swing by your place.
These things happen..once in awhile, we sure experience the downhearted situations…
About the parking ticket, i kena once too, i threw it at the dashboard meter and it really went thru that small tiny space.. believe it or not, and couldnt be retrieved.. explained to the hotel parking fella, though it sounded pretty ridiculous, but thank goodness, he believed me.. phew.. otherwise have to pay unnecessarily..
god bless you mamapumpkin! u still can find the humour above all ur downside recently. anyway, life is short, we need to learn how to let go especially things that do not need our worries. i’m also learning.
do continue to humour us…we need you also, well, i do! u have a great weekend too (shit!, it’s already sunday!) lol!
Life is like a moving wheel; all that goes up has to come down and vice versa. Been in that situation before…everything seems to go wrong. We were in O&G biz, got cheated and give up the local biz due to the industry code of ethic. After a break of almost 2.5 years, hubby ventured back into the O&G field (out of M’sia and strictly capitalizing on his expertise without financial investment).
In these trying times, you may lose friends and material things but as long as you do not lose yourself and always spare some room to rediscover self and life, it’s already a very good beginning. I believe you are one kind-hearted and very determined lady even we have not meet, so keep doing what you think it’s right and you’ll see light at the end of the tunnel.
Everything in the universe, good or bad…”this, shall past too!”. Hang in there!
Hang in there!!! There’s always ups and downs in each and everyone’s lives. Things can only get better!!!
When you’re at the bottom of the barrel, the only way is to go up. I’m sure the bigger picture will gradually unravel itself to you and family soon. 🙂