Lately, I have been having moments where I think Tee is very rude. And I look around me, and it seems many kids are very rude! It’s just the way society have evolved that manners no longer play a front seat in bringing up children and this is exactly why I feel that teaching your child manners is something we all need to look into.

Of course, we all have our own versions of what rude is but for me, when my child makes a smarty pants retort, it is considered rude. Others may swell in pride (as only smart children will know how to answer back with smarty pants comments) or find it funny, but I have been brought up traditionally to respect my elders and well, Tee should just not be making smarty pants retorts to her elders. If at all, she can joke about it and quickly say she’s joking. I’ll accept that. Because then, it tells me she knows what a smarty pants retort is and shouldn’t be using it.

So what exactly do I consider a smarty pants retort?

For one, the tone in which something is delivered makes all the difference. So a first point to check would be her tone. Secondly, let’s say I scold her for something she does or doesn’t do, she’s not supposed to come back and tell me that I do or don’t do it too, so why can’t she do or not do it. In the olden days, if you answered your parents back, you would get slapped. These days, kids are too spoilt, are given everything under the sun and talk like the Westerners.

It got me thinking that it is of upmost importance that Tee learns kindness and manners. Honestly, being gracious is very important. I don’t care how smart she is and although she harps on with her ego about how smart she is (and truth be told, she is just of above average intelligence, just that the people around her don’t do as well or know as much sometimes so that makes her think she is very smart), I keep knocking her ego (which may be a bad thing so I try to maintain a balance) to bring her back down to Earth. I have been stressing on kindness and manners but it hasn’t clicked yet. Perhaps I am expecting too much out of a 5 year old.

If teaching your child manners matters to you, take a look at my list below.

This is a list of what I expect from Tee eventually as she grows up in no particular order :-

1. Greeting people always with Hello, How are you and Goodbye

2. Saying Please, Thank You and Excuse Me

3. Wishing people a good meal at mealtimes

4. Asking for permission with Can you please, or May I please…..

5. Sitting at the dining table until finished

6. No whispering when other are around

7. No pointing

8. Knowing when to use her loud voice and quiet voice

9. Knowing when to walk and when to run

10. To excuse herself for farting, burping or sneezing

11. No nose digging or any digging in public, and especially not without a tissue and immediately washing her hands after

12. Covering her mouth and saying excuse me when she coughs

13. To learn how to make a compliment and to thank others for compliments

14. To assist in holding doors open, pulling out chairs, carrying bags……generally being helpful

15. To say Excuse Me when she is blocking someone or passing by them or reaching out for something in front of them

16. To not start eating at the dining table until everyone is seated, unless she gets permission to eat first

17. To ask if she can be excused from the dining table once she is done

18. To know how to introduce herself to others and to introduce others to each other

19. To not call people names or say un-nice things to people, and especially not be rude to others. And to learn that just because others do it, she does not need to follow suit.

20. To let others go first, especially if younger, weaker, sicker, or old.

21. No talking with her mouth full

22. No interrupting when others are talking

23. Eating with her mouth closed

24. No arguing and back talking to Mommy and Daddy

25. To learn how to make conversation with lonely people

26. To think of other people’s feelings

27. To not laugh at others in a mean way, to know when you can and when it is mean

28. To learn how to take turns

29. To think before speaking (if this is possible since her own Mother doesn’t know how)

30. To not talk about some things in public, like poos and farts…..and Daddy’s big willie (did I just say that? *smacks own head*)

31. To carry herself well – standing tall, sitting up and no slouching

32. To bring a gift wherever possible, whenever she visits somebody

33. To offer help when she visits somebody

34. To eat at the dining table when others are around, no phone, reading, TV or other distractions

35.To make a thank you card for every present she gets

36. To be mindful of thanking people for all that they do for her

37. And last but not least, to smile a lot!!!

PHEW!! I should just add 3 more items to make it a complete 40 point list!!!

That’s quite an exhaustive list for a 5 year old but we’re getting there. And to be fair, even as adults, we don’t practise half of them so how can we even expect her to learn them. After all, children take after their parents and if we aren’t good examples ourselves, then what? But still, teaching your child manners is something that every parent should do, if not even a little.

I have high standards so T1 will have to learn them even though we don’t practise them all the time. Oh, I am soooooooo evil. T1 has a good memory so one day, I shall make her repeat the above list to me. Muahahaha…….The Hubs solution is just to send her to boarding school. So what about you? Have you anything to add to this list? Have I forgotten anything?

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