Just as I was getting slightly restless with my helper, the following saga occurred. When she first came, she was a great worker but after 4 months, I noticed that she seemed distracted and her last 2 months with us was very stressful. A total of 6 months for a maid who’d never worked a day in her life for an employer nor been out of her village in her home country. So they always claim……

We had always been so ‘weak’, gentle and kind towards her, even when she broke my crystal bowl, screwed up my toilet rugs and bath towels in clorox, ruined our clothes, almost always got instructions wrong and drove me to insanity and worse, that which I SUPPRESSED…….but, but…..everyone told me, just be patient. You have a young baby. You need a helper. She doesn’t do it intentionally. Yes, I know, but why am I paying so much money for someone who stresses me out? I was already seriously lacking in sleep as it was. OK, nevermind. I just needed to understand that I could not depend on her and I needed to manage her in a way that there were minimal mistakes.

One night, the Hubs asked her to cut some fruit for after dinner. She should be doing this as a matter of course as we have fruit after dinner EVERY NIGHT. Never mind. She asked us what we wanted. We asked her what we had? She said apple and pear. We told her to please cut 2 pears. 30 minutes later (YES, THIRTY F*#%ING MINUTES LATER and just for the record, it takes me 5 minutes to peel and cut an apple into cubes, not even wedges, which is one step less), she comes out with TWO pears and ONE apple. I was confused. I asked the Hubs if I told her an apple and a pear or 2 pears because in my mind, it was clearly 2 pears. He confirmed that my instruction was TWO pears. I told her her mistake and reminded her again for the millionth time that she needed to OPEN up her EARS and listen to instructions PROPERLY. It’s not a big mistake at all but when you’ve been bombarded with 2 million little mistakes 700 times a day, the slightest mistake begins to tick me off. Just a little.

For example, when I tell her that later today, we need to move the cot together into the other room, with the operational word being together. She does this without my knowledge and when the Hubs gets home, he asks me who moved the cot. I tell him she did. He screws ME for not supervising the job at the very least. Why? Because it is a big cot and skill is needed. You need to know how to move the cot. She scratched the parquet flooring and scratched the door frames. I did tell her to wait for me and we’ll do it TOGETHER.

For example, when I tell her to WAIT for me before she blends the chillies because I need to know how blended it needs to be. It can’t be too watery, not too solid. I need to be there to see it being blend. I’d even do it. But what does she do? Blends it herself.

Little things like that happen several times a day. She is not focused and I felt that she hadn’t been focused ever since she got her handphone on month 2 with us.

Anyways……

Come, come….go grab yourself a cup of coffee or tea, whichever your preference is. Let me share my story.

Exactly 2 days ago, I received a phone call from the maid agency. Yes, the maid agency…..it’s funny. Most people call the maid agency to complain about their maids but this time round, the maid agency is calling ME to complain about MY maid. This conversation takes place:-

Maid agency: Mam, do you know that your maid, R, has a handphone?

Me: Yes, I do but I’m not happy about it.

Maid Agency: Do you know that your maid has TWO handphones?

Me: Two handphones? No? Why would she need 2 handphones?

Maid Agency: It has come to our knowledge, Mam, that your maid is involved in something in which we need to interrogate her with. Can you please bring your maid to the agency office or house?

Me: What is she involved in? To be honest, I haven’t been happy with her work, especially since she got her handphone and I certainly don’t think she’s worth the money we pay her.

Maid Agency: Mam, we need to interrogate her first before we inform you because we don’t want to simply accuse her of anything but can you bring her in?

After pressing for details which they strictly refused to divulge in, I said OK. I’ll send her in when it’s convenient.

Hours later, they call me again and tell me that I really need to send her in and in fact, they will be cancelling her work permit with immediate effect.

WHAT? What do you mean you are cancelling her work permit? What if I WANT to keep her? What if I NEED to keep her? I have 2 young children….

Yes, Mam. But we are almost certain that she is involved and it is not safe for you to keep this maid.

Gosh. If you’re saying it’s not safe then I certainly don’t want to keep her! But can you at least please tell me what is going on???

Mam, just send your maid in but don’t tell her you are sending her. Don’t give her any notice. Just bring her in as soon as possible. Don’t give her a chance to go back to her room once she knows she is coming. We will interrogate her and if she is guilty, we will cancel her work permit immediately and you will need to pack and bring her belongings to the agency premises.

OK, the earliest I can bring her would be tomorrow morning.

When tomorrow morning arrived, I told my helper that the agency had called and needed her to be in with them as they had some questions for her. She looked really shocked. I asked her WHY the agency would need to talk to her. Was she doing anything wrong? Was she doing anything illegal? Was she hiding anything from me. She kept shaking her head and looked really innocent. Curious at the same time. I then said, “Well, if you’re innocent….then are any of your friends involved in anything they shouldn’t be involved in? Is anyone doing anything wrong?” Negative. Double negative. I was convinced of her innocence and thought they must have made an awful mistake. I mean, I know she irritates me to no end with her dumb mistakes but I genuinely felt she was a sincere person who was unable to be doing anything so wrong that was so serious. And that is why despite her dumb mistakes, we would still look after her children by giving extras all the time.

I asked her if there were other maids perhaps with the same first name as her but she said no, out of the hundred girls, she had a unique name. Which was worrying, as it lessened the chances of a terrible mistake. *sigh*

Nevertheless, I told her that the Hubs was going to take her right now there and then to the agent and that she was to go immediately. I expected her to walk straight out the front door with my husband who was on his way to work, but she ran to her room and said she needed to change. I told her firmly that she needn’t get changed and to in fact, go right now.

She completely ignored me and started shuffling things around in her room, with a locked door and I heard some slamming of drawers and cupboards. Certainly a sign of guilt. I told myself I’d failed because the agent told me that I was supposed to get her out without going back to her room as she may alert the other guilty parties. Anyway, as soon as she left, I called the agent to say that I’d failed. They told me not to worry. They will search her when she arrived and that I should search her room immediately to look for those 2 handphones.

I went to her room and together with T2, I couldn’t bloody find those handphones!!! But I found some strange things. Photos of her(tons of it) which proved she was really vain. You know those……smiles in various ‘hiao‘ positions and poses. Who would have known? She was really far from being a stunner! Tons of photos of herself. I normally keep photos of loved ones as mementos, nice to look at, but not of myself! She had TONS of photos of herself!!!

I also found a tupperware of moldy food and a jar of baking soda inside it. Why? If the food has gone off, why would she keep the bad food and have baking soda get rid of the smell? Why not just chuck it out? Weird, right? Her room was FILTHY. Funny, she actually kept my house very, very clean. Her bras were damn sexy (black lace mixed with colours)…..sexier than mine! I’m a nursing mom, hello….give chance a bit. I wear NURSING bras…..and seriously, how sexy do they get?

Again, a few hours later, the agent called and told me that my maid was found guilty and that her work permit has been cancelled. She flies home the next evening and I needed to bring her belongings over as soon as possible. Had I found the handphones? No! Keep looking….OK. I kept asking the agent, are you sure??? ARE YOU SURE? ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY SURE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT PERSON???

The agent said, they were positive and that when my maid first got there, she even asked the agent innocently why she was there. Only to be proven guilty and begged for forgiveness later. Crying and everything.

I finally found the handphones in a secret hiding place under the bed, both on but on silent mode. And of course, she hadn’t kept to her promise of using the handphone only at night to sms her children. That would be too easy. Whilst I was out all day, she and her friends and BOY friends, have been in communication throughout the day. From 8am in the mornings and THROUGHOUT the entire F*CKING day. I felt so darn cheated. She had completely lied to me, taken advantage of me and THAT was why her work was slacking. Her mind was always on her darn handphones!

In fact, there were 38 missed calls on that day itself within 6 hours. There were also I LOVE YOU messages and poetry from what I assume various men, from the tone of the messages. There were even men fighting over her! These were the ones I could make out in English. There were also Malay messages from a Malay man. WTF?

I had the dreaded task of packing her stuff. The funny thing? She came with one suitcase but she had stuff enough to fit FOUR suitcases. How is that? She must have accumulated stuff from her off days or whatever. So I got some old bags of mine and chucked everything in. I really should have chucked in the tupperware with moldy food too as it was hers after all! One thing though, she hadn’t stolen anything. Not that I was aware anyway. Everything she had of ours, were things we had chucked into the bin and she’d picked up. *added note later Sept 2010: we have since discovered that she had in fact stolen quite a lot of things during her off days. Just little things like toiletry bags, handbags, other bags, hair accessories, sheets, scarves, clothes, make up…..little things).

That night, the Hubs brought her belongings and whatever money that we owed her to the agent, and there she was, all remorseful. She apologised to the Hubs crying (who completely ignored her) and the agent told her how stupid she was, to have such a great employer and how she hadn’t even made a single cent here as she had only worked for a few months.The Hubs said he didn’t even look at her, just heard her crying she was so sorry……I didn’t go on purpose because I would have wanted to slap her.

There was nothing anyone could do. It was too late now and the agent kept reminding her in front of some other maids that she was SO stupid. The agent’s stance was to send her back immediately to the Philippines as such behaviour was not tolerated.

So what exactly was her crime?

*jeng-jeng-jeng*

She was involved in some Nepalese men syndicate and was planning with friends a night out and further nights out to meet up with these men. For sex, I presume. Sex in trade for money….I don’t know the details and I don’t even care and that is why I never asked the agent for further details. I guess I didn’t want to know the truth. I didn’t want to hear that men have been back to my place so perhaps that is why I haven’t asked. But whatever it is that she was involved in, obviously the agent took as a serious crime. The bitch didn’t even tell me about her second handphone. Why the hell does she need 2 handphones?

I’m so glad she is gone. Why?

It is officially now my 2nd day without a helper and it’s been stressful, busy and I’ve lost 2 kilos because I’m so busy that there is no time to eat sometimes as T2 is going through that super clingy phase. And what perfect timing for T1 to be on school holiday as well….There is just a lot of things to do and not enough time to do them. But, like my matsalleh friends tell me….they all do it and cope abroad. So I shall conquer this challenge.

THERE IS MORE!

I found out that my fucking maid, has been soaking our kitchen towels with her period stained panties. And fuck me running, I had the lovely task of packing her wet period stained panties. I chucked them all into a plastic bag and threw them into her suitcase. I threw out ALL our kitchen towels as well. WTFFFFFFF – FUCK. Excuse me for being so rude but KITCHEN TOWELS!!! Together with her panties, what more with period stains? Fresh period stains. The water was still bloody!!! I could puke right now. Oh, I hate her so much for totally betraying me!

Then, I realised that our drinking water jugs all had brown sediments at the bottom. She was supposed to use filtered water for our drinking water and boil the filtered water before filling those jars. Obviously, she was feeding us tap water. Unfiltered. Because in these last 2 days that I have been using the filtered water and boiling it, there is no sediment at all. But if I use the normal tap water unfiltered, then there is sediment. Fuck the fucking bitch. It’s only day 2. I wonder what else I will discover.

I’m sure I’ll find more things once I go through the motions, but as it stands, I’m being a super octopus and the laundry has not even started. Tell me, those of you who survive without a maid and have babies, how do you do it? What is your schedule like? How do you cope? What do you do when your baby wakes 2-5 times a night between the hours of 12am and 8am? How do you run a household, cook and clean, and still stay sane and breastfeed, drive around town, etc etc etc etc etc?

What song is it that has these lyrics? I did my best…..but I guess my best wasn’t good enough…….Billly Ocean?

So much for being kind to a maid and treating her like family.

C’est la vie.

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Who is Mamapumpkin?
Mamapumpkin is a former Design Architect turned Multi-Million Dollar Digital Entrepreneur. She sets out to prove to all that you can have anything and everything that you want; if you have that fire of desire burning within and the drive to work hard. Even better with much love.

Mamapumpkin has not only grown corporate businesses successfully in the past and doubled her salary 5 times over 5 organisations but has grown THREE BUSINESSES to 7 FIGURES within an 8 year period. She now shows others EXACTLY HOW after retiring her own husband from employment. He is now the official dog walker, family driver, chef and THE BEST FATHER to their two girls and THE BEST HUSBAND to the woman who CHOSE HIM!

Mamapumpkin is the girl who has nothing but fights for everything including YOU. She is idealistic in her desire to put unbelievable amounts of money and extrardinary happiness into the lives of good people so we can change the world together believing in happiness for ALL. She strives to impact lives authentically wanting to reduce poverty cycles and enable quality education for all and always supports the voiceless. She believes we can all have a life of our own desires to enable real contribution into the world. But first, one needs to understand what this all means.

A beautiful life without limits.

If you wish to learn how to propel your life forward guaranteed, be brave to take action. Mamapumpkin's purpose is to build people. Her gift is to help them UNCOVER their HIDDEN GIFTS. She operates fairly and always leaves an impression. You either love her or not and she is alright either way.

She is a living testimony that women really can have a lot. Being financially and time free has enabled her to travel the world anytime, anywhere, doing anything with anyone, as she spends most of her days with her children, having fun, supporting others wherever she can. Also having fun.