Learning the octopus dance

It finally dawned upon me today that in order to bring two young children up graciously, keep a happy husband from philandering, remain on friendly talking terms with your friends and family AND run a successful business, I would have to learn the octopus dance. And not sleep. I know, I am usually quite slow so please cut me some slack. I lack sleep and the pregnant brain has not left. I don’t know if it ever will but Oh God, I’d cut my head up and get it out if I could.

Today was one helluva stressful day. Having had Tee with me and not at school for a whole 8 days now certainly doesn’t help and T2 was having an off day. OFF, as in she nailed herself to me like Jesus Christ on the cross so she couldn’t be put down. At all. No matter how long I’d waited for her to fall into a deep sleep, she’d cry as soon as I entered the bedroom. Or if I brought her anywhere near horizontal. Or if she smelt some sheets. I carried her ALL DAY. Ok, so there was a tremendous thunderstorm in the afternoon that freaked both the girls out. I guess bravery isn’t their thing right now.

But seriously??? You know you have days when blink! Where did the f*#^ing day go? Well, today was one of those days when blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, BLINK, BLINK, BLINK-BLINK, BLINK-BLINK, BLINK-BLINK-BLINK!!!! and the f*@(ing day was still here!!!

I got absolutely NOTHING done.

Well, nothing for myself that is.

I carried T2 all day, short of 1.5 hours from 9am to 8pm. In that 1.5 hours, I read Enid Blyton to Tee (The Magic House in the Tree), taught her how to look up the Oxford Dictionary (except that when she does look up a word, she has to look up the word that explains the word, then look up the word that explains that word, then look up the word that explains THAT word). I learnt a new word myself – gossamer….Fairies and pixies wear Gossamer dresses. C’mon! Go look it up! I’m embarrassed I didn’t know the word.

I also coached Tee to practise her piano concert piece and wanted to throw the baby at her at one point because she kept insisting that she was right in counting when in actual fact, I’m the one with the grade 8 piano diploma. Conclusion? We’re getting a metronome.

I ate my meals whilst carrying T2. She did not want anyone else. I won’t be surprised if it is because she too is coming down with Tee’s flu. I showered whilst she screamed. Her lips are blistered from over-sucking as she sucked ALL DAY. OK, it felt like it. And my tits ARE 3 inches longer so it must’ve been almost all day. Soon I’ll be able to use them as weapons. What? How dare you insult my intelligence? Here! Take this! *Swish right breast out and fling at enemy. Enemy collapses.*

So yeah. If I wanted to do what I really want to do, I’d have to master balancing on the toilet seat pouring out severe diarrhea with lots of gas spinning within my tummy, with T2 crying booby on my left arm, right fingers typing furiously on the Dell (Apple, here I come!), mouth persuading Tee that the word ‘because‘ spells with an ‘au‘ and not an ‘o‘, darting eyes urging the helper to GOD DAMN TAKE THESE KIDS AWAY so I can shit in private, learning the entire ABBA lyrics because Tee wants me to so that she can compete with her friends in school that her Mommy knows them too, plan the weeks one dish menu and lift ankle weights with my left leg in keeping up with my fitness regime; only to find out that the Hubs has finished the toilet roll and there’s none left in the entire house despite screaming for help. The octopus dance……..

I KNOW I CAN DO IT.

By the way, who is the  best octopus dance tutor in KL? I need her number. Quick.

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Who is Mamapumpkin?
Mamapumpkin is a former Design Architect turned Multi-Million Dollar Digital Entrepreneur. She sets out to prove to all that you can have anything and everything that you want; if you have that fire of desire burning within and the drive to work hard. Even better with much love.

Mamapumpkin has not only grown corporate businesses successfully in the past and doubled her salary 5 times over 5 organisations but has grown THREE BUSINESSES to 7 FIGURES within an 8 year period. She now shows others EXACTLY HOW after retiring her own husband from employment. He is now the official dog walker, family driver, chef and THE BEST FATHER to their two girls and THE BEST HUSBAND to the woman who CHOSE HIM!

Mamapumpkin is the girl who has nothing but fights for everything including YOU. She is idealistic in her desire to put unbelievable amounts of money and extrardinary happiness into the lives of good people so we can change the world together believing in happiness for ALL. She strives to impact lives authentically wanting to reduce poverty cycles and enable quality education for all and always supports the voiceless. She believes we can all have a life of our own desires to enable real contribution into the world. But first, one needs to understand what this all means.

A beautiful life without limits.

If you wish to learn how to propel your life forward guaranteed, be brave to take action. Mamapumpkin's purpose is to build people. Her gift is to help them UNCOVER their HIDDEN GIFTS. She operates fairly and always leaves an impression. You either love her or not and she is alright either way.

She is a living testimony that women really can have a lot. Being financially and time free has enabled her to travel the world anytime, anywhere, doing anything with anyone, as she spends most of her days with her children, having fun, supporting others wherever she can. Also having fun.
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5 thoughts on “Learning the octopus dance

  1. hahahah hohoho wahahahah wakakaakakaka…i almost finished my pack of tissue wiping my tears away….u r wayyyyy too hilarious, MamaP!

  2. AND despite all that, hubs still comments that you are “free” the whole day, correct? That is why God created women to nulti-task and men, well, can’t even get past thinking without using their d&*ks! LOL

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