I was so sure that this time round, there was no sign of post-natal blues as I felt extremely in control despite all the minor irritations that the CLM had caused. I was able to look beyond and take deep breathes, tell myself this too shall pass…..On hindsight, the CLM wasn’t so bad. She somewhat respected my wishes, like when I told her not to feed the baby any water (washing the mouth is OK, feeding water to drink or remove hiccups is not). It would have been nice if she had been more attentive to baby’s butt because now that she’s no longer here, baby does not have a single rash on her precious behind and I’m not even using any diaper rash cream. Her bum is as smooth as her face skin, all because Mama takes good care of it. With tender love. When CLM was here, we had to use diaper rash cream every day because baby kept sleeping in wet nappies!
Alas, I cried several times the night before T2’s full moon party. Loud, heavy sobs of anguish……till Tee came to comfort me when she was really supposed to be asleep. The Hubs stroked my hair whilst Tee held my hand. We were all helpless.
It was not post-natal blues though. It was because of incredible stress!!!
SHE must be the most stubborn lady that I have ever met. No wonder the Hubs and Tee and T2 are bloody, seriously, weight on tits touching the floor kind of stubborn. They beat me hands down. Seriously. I am known to be strong willed but you’d have to move the Earth to have them admit to something they don’t want to.
“She may be wet.”
“No, she’s not wet.”
“How do you know? You haven’t checked?”
She pats the baby’s bum from outside the swaddle amidst another layer of a plastic panty AND a nappy and a nappy liner…..how one feels for a wet nappy outside all those layers is beyond me.
“No, she’s not wet.”
“Why don’t you put her down and open up the swaddle, then you can feel if she’s wet or not?”
“No, she’s not wet.”
“She won’t fuss if she’s not wet or poo-poo’d”
“No, she’s not wet. She just wants to sleep.”
GIVE UP.
I eventually go to check T2’s nappy. It is wetter than Niagara Falls.
“What’s in this chocolate?” she asks of our chocolate fondue mix.
“It’s just melted chocolate.”
“It can’t be. Melted chocolate isn’t this soft and light.”
“It is. My Mom said she was going to make the chocolate fondue from melted chocolate….”
“Your Mom must’ve mixed the chocolate mixture with egg white to get that light chocolate mousse texture.”
“I don’t think so. She didn’t mention any eggs at all. I’ve done it before, melt chocolate….it was soft just like that!”
“No, she definitely put some egg white.”
“No, NO egg white. Trust me, my Mom wouldn’t have gone through the trouble to whisk some egg white into chocolate. Besides, eating raw egg is not her style.”
“There is definitely egg white in the chocolate.”
“Maybe the chocolate you’ve melted before was of a different brand and it didn’t turn out soft but this IS melted chocolate. I’ve done it before!”
“No, there is definitely egg white in the chocolate. Plain melted chocolate is not like that.”
“OK, I’ll ask my Mom right now, OK? I’m sure there is no egg white.”
“Surely there is egg inside……”
GIVE UP.
Sms’d Mom to enquire about chocolate fondue recipe. Answer came back – NO EGG WHITE. Did I rub it in? No.
“How come she’s always poo-ing?”
“Because breastfed babies poo all the time. Like after every feed.”
“Why is she always hungry? She’s not getting enough to eat.”
“Sometimes she just wants to suckle, she’s not really eating.”
“She’s not getting enough milk. She is always hungry. See?”
“If she wasn’t getting enough, she wouldn’t be poo-ing 8 times a day and having so many wet nappies!”
“She is always hungry. Look. Again! She still wants to eat!”
“She usually gets hungry after a poo. Sometimes she just wants to suckle to go to sleep.”
“She is always hungry. You don’t have enough milk. She is hungry!! She wants some more…see? See? She is hungry!”
*my heart rate and blood pressure starts rising to uncontrollable levels*
“She is NOT hungry. She just wants to suck.”
“No, she is hungry! See? She wants to eat. You don’t have enough milk. She hasn’t eaten enough. She is hungry.”
“If she is not eating enough, she wouldn’t have put on 1 kilo in the last 3 weeks!!!! Trust me, she’s not hungry!!!”
“She doesn’t have enough. She is hungry.”
GIVE UP.
*STABBED MYSELF AFTER CRYING BUCKETS*
So there you go.
If there is one thing worse than a confinement lady monster, it’s a fucking MONSTER-IN-LAW. Who stayed with us for five long days. I have never minded her but this particular visit was met with much hostility. All she wanted to do was carry the baby all day long walking and rocking, which is fine by me but when she doesn’t even know how to carry a baby properly (because all her babies were attended to by Amahs) and the baby is uncomfortable, give it a rest!
And have you ever had someone stare at your boob so much in your life? Not even the Hubs, my very own SEX PARTNER, has paid so much attention to my boobs. Ever. She followed T2 everywhere she went, which meant she also watched T2 suck on my breast, at close range, every single time. You know, just to prove that I didn’t have enough milk. How rude! It was really uncomfortable for me having her stare at my NIPPLE and how it didn’t produce enough milk for her precious grandchild. It was like her carrying a magnifying glass holding it against my CLITORIS!!!
ENOUGH ALREADY!!!
Who is Mamapumpkin?
Mamapumpkin is a former Design Architect turned Multi-Million Dollar Digital Entrepreneur. She sets out to prove to all that you can have anything and everything that you want; if you have that fire of desire burning within and the drive to work hard. Even better with much love.
Mamapumpkin has not only grown corporate businesses successfully in the past and doubled her salary 5 times over 5 organisations but has grown THREE BUSINESSES to 7 FIGURES within an 8 year period. She now shows others EXACTLY HOW after retiring her own husband from employment. He is now the official dog walker, family driver, chef and THE BEST FATHER to their two girls and THE BEST HUSBAND to the woman who CHOSE HIM!
Mamapumpkin is the girl who has nothing but fights for everything including YOU. She is idealistic in her desire to put unbelievable amounts of money and extrardinary happiness into the lives of good people so we can change the world together believing in happiness for ALL. She strives to impact lives authentically wanting to reduce poverty cycles and enable quality education for all and always supports the voiceless. She believes we can all have a life of our own desires to enable real contribution into the world. But first, one needs to understand what this all means.
A beautiful life without limits.
If you wish to learn how to propel your life forward guaranteed, be brave to take action. Mamapumpkin's purpose is to build people. Her gift is to help them UNCOVER their HIDDEN GIFTS. She operates fairly and always leaves an impression. You either love her or not and she is alright either way.
She is a living testimony that women really can have a lot. Being financially and time free has enabled her to travel the world anytime, anywhere, doing anything with anyone, as she spends most of her days with her children, having fun, supporting others wherever she can. Also having fun.
poor u, so much stress! Lucky u have hubs and tee to comfort u! My mil kept on staring at my nipple and boobs and gave lots of unwelcome comments! Felt like asking her to just shut up and give me some privacy
Goodness gracious! sob! sob! I’ve been through the exact same experience, so can truly feel every inch of pain you had to go through. Be strong, and always remember that once SHE leaves, it will just be you, T1, T2 & the Hubs – one big happy family! Freedom at last!
U do know that Mother in Law if scrambled is Woman Hitler?
Hail Hitler!
That being said.. who knows..maybe one day, you’ll come around to actually liking her. Or maybe not.
oh my… *pat pat shoulder*..there…there.. Oh, it has been done by Tee and hub. But still ..*pat pat* (My eyes closed.. I am not staring at your boobies :P)
That is definitely stressful. I hate people who insist they are right when we know for sure they are WRONG!!
I also had a hard time with my confinement lady. Stuck in between CL and mil make me more stress. I don’t know i cried everyday is because of depress or post-natal blues or stress! I cried for one whole month till the CL left. 🙁 I know the bad experience with CL…they are just too stubborn to listen to us!
I’ve been through that “see? She’s still hungry” nonsense. It happened with my first baby and it happened again with the second. Very demotivating the first time, creating lots of feelings inadequacies. second time, I was more confident and I go into the bedroom and lock the door everytime. That was the only solution to keep the peace.
i am so soree to hear abt ur situation…i went thru the same problems with my CL and MIL too…cried non stop too…
dun woree k…at the end of the day, wat’s more important is tat u still have ur hubby and T1 and T2 be supportive to u..they’ll always luv u no matter way ya 🙂
Hug hug..I know it’s not easy, but tell yourself over and over again, just few days…all this soon will be gone
i took the easy way out, asked hubs to give them the sacking, threathen him I’ll go insane if CL stays. Push it ALL to hubs !
BTW, what’s CL gotta do with chocolates ? Fondue is choc bits melted lah, supposed to be smooth n silky. Maybe hers was runny coz it’s cheap chocolates with less cocoa butter, you should have said that to her.
Anyway, looking back, it’s over and it’ll be an episode worth bitching over.
P/S, I also do not like ANYONE watching over my boobs. It’s personal, it’s bonding time. Mom & baby ONLY !!!!
Everything will be OK.
Mike
http://somethingaboutparenting.typepad.com
Twitter: AboutParenting
now i know what the “M” stands for. you know, my own mom kept saying that my breastmilk is not enuf even though my baby weighs at 7.2kg at 4mo! in the earlier mths she kept telling me to mix w formula milk and she kept asking me to start him on solid! i dun understand why they r so against breastfeeding.
your husband’s mom? oh no, HE would have to handle her. that’s just the way it works. well around here anyway.
sorry to hear that. jeeze louise.
Just ignore the CL! Not worth to stress over her.
About your MIL, well, that’s a little delicate… push her to hubs?
You take care, alright? Breathe in… breathe out…
oh you poor thing. Monster confinement lady is a temporary thing but monster in law is….*sigh*
i had the same experience after my confinement staying a few days in kuantan with my in-laws. luckily my hubby did not agree to leave me there for whole month confinement although MIL wanted to help me with my confinement. they said things exactly the same, argue and argue over their precious grandchild, saying qiqi was crying due to hunger, not sleeping well, must apply powder, must let baby sleep on pillow, must apply “SESAME OIL” on tummy to prevent wind!!!
stress…stress….thank god we were only there a few nights otherwise i’ll go mad.
i m some-what like u..stress, post natal, depress… even up to now..cos the maid will drive me up the wall 🙁
just do it ur way. dont care what other ppl think.
Wow, your CL really are monstrous. How can you end up hiring her? But, she’s left and you can breath now dear.
Haha your Mil really really a headache yah.. haha gladly my mil never around.
OMG!! That’s your MIL at least. Let your Hubs deal with it! But if it’s the other way round, as in my case….i just cried and cried and screamed my lungs out at ‘her’ who thought that she’s much better and cleverer than my 2 CLs. Actually, both my CLs were not too bad, as I had commented earlier.
oh gosh! i cannot believe that u actually allowed ur MIL to stare at you while u fed the bb! with respect still I would tell her politely that i want some privacy!
Wah! Memang stress!!!
I REALLY feel your frustrations, because I have one here too!!!!!!! I salute you coz I dare not even write about it in my blog! How dare these monsters stares at other peoples boobs, so closely. I told mine very politely at first to stay away, and know what she said? “Cheh, what’s so special abt ur boobs, cannot see arr?” and continued to see everytime I feed my bb!