Going back on your word is probably something most people won’t like doing and certainly for me, the idea of going back on my word, fucking sucks. I hold myself to the highest of integrity and walked out of a $130,000 monthly income when it did not align with my values, and so to go back on my word, is something I would seriously struggle with.

But I have this problem right now.

THE BACK STORY

In 2021, right in the midst of the pandemic when everyone had a lot of time at home, I decided to gain some skills in helping my then teams to up-level in their businesses. The perennial problem with their results was that many Asian women suffered from low self esteem and could not take rejection. This blocked them from meeting people, networking and growing a business. As a Leader, I set out on a mission to help them overcome this hurdle by putting their businesses online. Having a business online meant communicating via the internet automatically without having to face the ever scary (to them) instance of getting rejected. I told them this. I requested for time to explore this new gig and I would revert to teach them. I was doing it FOR THEM.

I began teaching as soon as I started learning, something my American coaches could NOT understand because why the heck would I teach for free to the team, but to my serious disappointment, none of them were ready to embrace this CHANGE.

NONE.

They would either not show up to classes without respect for my time, or sign up for the classes and then give up half way, also without news whatsoever. How would anyone make any progress that way? They were already so far behind from the rest of the world.

What made me so sad was that I was already making money and they were not, but still they were not willing to see the reasons why they needed to pay attention. Whilst I blocked out time from my own schedule FOR THEM, and said no to my own family and friends, the team would show up AS AND WHEN THEY FELT LIKE IT. It began to feel like showing up was a favour they did for me. Yet, I wasn’t the one who needed any favours. What a stinking dichotomy of thoughts it was.

Slowly, I retreated from the team feeling distraught in more ways than one and started focusing on myself instead. The self who had given up so many years for everyone else, instead of me. My husband had nagged me in the last 10 years about how much I do for others and his question to me was always the same. With you doing everything for everyone, who is actually going to do something for you when you are really in the shit?

The truth is, I did eventually fall into shit and did anyone notice?

No.

When I raised the matter later, the response was that everyone was so busy with their own lives to notice, and besides, I was that strong leader, why in the world would I even need THEIR HELP? Truthfully, it would have been nice if someone checked in to confirm that I was actually still alive.

Everyone thinks they worked hard to make me a multi-millionaire but they should be thinking why they didn’t become multi-millionaires themselves.

I mean….

*speechless*

THE RISING OF THE PHOENIX

And so.

In the last 3 years, I grew my 3rd x 7 figure business by taking the opportunity to work with the Western Countries because I was under the impression that they might have more confidence to communicate and do the work, and hence won’t drive me so nuts in dealing with minds that were just not ready yet to see a different way of thinking. Besides, they actually had money to invest due to exchange rates, seeing that I used to teach my team everything FOR FREE previously in the first 7 years. It was the best decision ever because I made more money than I ever did and WISHED that I had started learning all this so much earlier.

I noticed that my old team hardly paid any attention to me at all and hardly anyone asked how I was, and this made me feel like I was a toy all this while. I was useless, unworthy of their time, and seriously, not at all on their radar. AT ALL. It was definitely how I felt.

I started thinking back of all the times I battled with my illnesses, nobody came, nobody asked, nobody cared. Even when I was feeling depressed and alone, nobody knew, nobody asked, nobody took any action to check on me. And so, I started really thinking about what I’d been doing with them all this while that commanded such a strong audience when I had a perceived diamond to drop yet, no diamond, no interest. Was I such a lousy person that deserved to lose all connections in this game of hide and seek? Perhaps so. The Westerners didn’t seem to think I was lousy though and I did not have any free diamonds for them.

And so I continued with the Americans, the Europeans and the Canadians in business and had my biggest income year last year. Now that I am stable with this new business of selling intel online in the form of digital products, I am ready to return to the old team to lead again. After all, I did say I was going to return. Whether or not it was to lead them was hazy…..

I would be most delighted to help them grow but do they actually even want me to help them grow? It has been so silent, I could hear a pin drop. Apart from 1-2 girls who graciously stayed in touch, the rest, how shall I put it? They seem to have gone on a long holiday.

I don’t dare ask because I have the fear of everyone saying yes! Yes! YES! We want you!!! And then when the time comes, nobody shows up. Again. You know what I mean? It is a really hard conversation. One I would love to have but who’s wanting to talk with me?

TELLING THE TRUTH

The truth is that there is a reason they are where they are, and I am where I am, and I do not mean that in any derogatory way at all. It simply just is. And by saying it as it is, I am not watching my own ass because I am actually speaking truth to encourage them to rise higher. If they notice. It is what I want for them the most but they must want it for themselves.

You cannot rise to become a multi-millionaire without thinking like a multi-millionaire. Maybe they never wanted to become multi-millionaires at all and all the talk of wanting financial freedom was just a mask to have a seat in the community. Who’s being truthful now?

I KNOW I can help anyone become a millionaire but they must be willing to be coachable and they must do the work. I have people who are supposed to be writing down what they want in their lives for months who still haven’t done it. How pray tell would they move forward not knowing what they want? Do not for a second believe that you can become a multi-millionaire just by praying.

I am currently on to my 4th business in this decade and I intend to make it the biggest one yet because I know my systems work. They have grown me 7 figures 3 times. My biggest secret is not revealing everything all at once because it does not serve the student. In order to rise, they need to make it through Level 1 before moving up to Level 2. If you offer 10 Levels all at once, trust me, no work will be done because human nature is such when they do not yet have a sense of true self and I know for a fact that nobody in my old team had done the self work.

Another thing that grated my skin was that nobody came to me whenever they had a problem but instead they preferred to gossip behind my back. Sigh. They have no idea how this action blocks even more wealth and abundance from reaching their lives! Nobody is perfect so if you have a problem, let’s talk about it. Or is it that you just want things your way and only your way and so if things don’t go your way, then it becomes a problem? Is that fair?

Sometimes, I would purposely create a story just to see who was really in tune with what was really going on. Everyone failed miserably.

It has been so hard for me to walk away from a team whom I truly love that it almost feels like a divorce.

Unfortunately, I am not perfect and I am sure there are a ton of areas where I could improve. I only wish that the people around me were able to be honest with me so that I never have to go back on my word.

Ever.

Next up. Letters to the people who hurt me.

#storiesfromtheheart

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Who is Mamapumpkin?
Mamapumpkin is a former Design Architect turned Multi-Million Dollar Digital Entrepreneur. She sets out to prove to all that you can have anything and everything that you want; if you have that fire of desire burning within and the drive to work hard. Even better with much love.

Mamapumpkin has not only grown corporate businesses successfully in the past and doubled her salary 5 times over 5 organisations but has grown THREE BUSINESSES to 7 FIGURES within an 8 year period. She now shows others EXACTLY HOW after retiring her own husband from employment. He is now the official dog walker, family driver, chef and THE BEST FATHER to their two girls and THE BEST HUSBAND to the woman who CHOSE HIM!

Mamapumpkin is the girl who has nothing but fights for everything including YOU. She is idealistic in her desire to put unbelievable amounts of money and extrardinary happiness into the lives of good people so we can change the world together believing in happiness for ALL. She strives to impact lives authentically wanting to reduce poverty cycles and enable quality education for all and always supports the voiceless. She believes we can all have a life of our own desires to enable real contribution into the world. But first, one needs to understand what this all means.

A beautiful life without limits.

If you wish to learn how to propel your life forward guaranteed, be brave to take action. Mamapumpkin's purpose is to build people. Her gift is to help them UNCOVER their HIDDEN GIFTS. She operates fairly and always leaves an impression. You either love her or not and she is alright either way.

She is a living testimony that women really can have a lot. Being financially and time free has enabled her to travel the world anytime, anywhere, doing anything with anyone, as she spends most of her days with her children, having fun, supporting others wherever she can. Also having fun.