Learning to Negotiate

This little minx of mine, T2, has always been known as a little chilli padi but in the last month, I’ve noticed her increasing ability to negotiate. Darn! Before she’s even five, I am convinced she has enough negotiation skills to laugh her way out of a boardroom full of obnoxious decision makers.

One small example since I remember it as it only happened today, we were browsing at the local toy store searching for gifts for our friends abroad and T2 suggests that she would like a Sylvanian Family toy. As I recall, we’d agreed that we were not buying anymore toys after I threw out a major portion of the girls’ toys. The monkey just would not let it rest and kept telling me why she deserved it. She eats her vegetables, she has nice poo, she does a lot of things independently, etc. I retort that she does not do everything that I want though so in order to get it, she had to EARN it.

What do I have to do?

You have to firstly STOP sleeping with me and start sleeping in your own bed and not come to my bed in the middle of the night.

OK! (Yea, right. We all know that is the biggest impulsive lie, so I continued….)

You also have to go home and put away all your rubbish tonight before Amah arrives tomorrow (read: cut outs of scrap paper, dolls everywhere, dolls clothes, jewellery, oh gosh, you name it, it’s everywhere!!)

OK!

But I am really serious, T2. No more sleeping with Mama. If you want me to do something for you, you have to do something for me.

OK, why not I still sleep with you but I will share my toy with you….

But I’m not interested in your toy!!! If you want me to do something for you, you have to do something for me that I want!! (On hindsight, this was completely wrong because hey, it’s really not tit for tat. Oh dear, what AM I teaching my child)

OK, Mama. I won’t sleep with you. (After long consideration and looking very solemn)

Are you sure?

But if I don’t sleep with you, then you have to do something for me! I want you to buy me all of the Sylvanian Family Toy……

NO!!! I am not buying you all the Sylvanian Family Toy!! You have to earn it slowly. In fact, even if I get it now, you are not allowed to touch it until you have cleared up all your rubbish AND prove to me that you will sleep in your own bed; then only will you get your toy. TO-MO-RROW.

(shock horror look, then tears) If I don’t get it today then I won’t sleep in my own bed!!

(starts pulling hair out) Look, we have to go. These are the rules. Take it or leave it.

So we buy the thing and go to the next shop. As soon as we arrived home, she amazingly started picking up her crap and I got her sister to help as a contributor to the mess. I had hidden the toy away hoping she’d forget about it but once the mess was cleared, she instantly went searching for her treasure. I told her tomorrow. She squealed that she’d cleared up her toys! I reminded her about our sleeping arrangement but she threw a tantrum saying she had already cleared her toys and if I didn’t give her her SF toy, she would NEVER go to school FOR-EVER!!

Just then the Hubs arrived home from work and I had to leave to go for a meeting. But first, I briefed him of our agreement and left a sulking little girl.

When I got home several hours later, T2 was asleep on my bed, MY bed, the bed that belongs to the Hubs and I, yes THAT master bed, holding on to her bloody Sylvanian Family toy.

o_O

What the hell happened?!!!!!

And all this time, T1 didn’t ask me for a single thing. Nought. Zero.

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