Today I went for lunch with a Doctor friend whose little girl is exactly 1 month older than T. That’s two and a half years old (Gosh! Is my little girl that old now?). Mel since a baby, was the most well behaved baby I ever knew. Her mother being a doctor et al knew exactly how to train her to have good sleeping and eating habits from very early on. But surely, even a doctor would get resistance from the terrible twos? Apparently not.
Mel sat down with legs together on the restaurant chair for the whole time until the food arrived. She did not move, jump around, remove her shoes, bang her cutlery, whine, run around the restaurant, whine nor climb. The girl is two and a half years old!!! I was clearly embarrassed that my own daughter was the source of entertainment for everyone when she turned a deaf ear to my every request.
“What do you feed her?” I asked my friend for her secret.
She shared that she has just been extremely strict and denied Mel any of her favourite things should she disobey and to always follow through with what you threaten the kid with.
For example, if she takes her shoes off, tell her that if she takes it off again, you will take her shoes AWAY and do it. This will leave her walking all the way home without shoes and if you’re heading home from a shopping mall, would leave your kid walking on different surfaces, maybe the fear of toes getting stuck in the escalators, and then show how dirty their feet become when barefoot. Also explain how worms can go through their feet if barefoot.
Do the same thing for food if they refuse to eat. Tell them that if they do not eat, you will remove their food and no snacks till the next meal. They learn fast enough apparently. I don’t know. I haven’t tried but am dying to.
If they do not want to shower, give them the option of them walking right now to the bathroom or you will drag/carry them there and do it.
Do not make empty threats like telling the kid you will leave them when you are clearly never going to leave them.
What do you think? Does anyone have any tips for toddler discipline?
My problem with all her suggestions is that T will happily do whatever it takes to get her own way. She doesn’t mind not eating, she doesn’t mind not wearing her shoes, she will not listen if I tell her to sit and stop climbing. I am at the end of my tether. It’s just too tiring talking to a wall, repeating myself over and over like a recording. Do I have to raise my voice before she will listen? Even THAT doesn’t work!
Later in the day at someone elses home, I told T not to put something into her mouth. After warning her again not to put that blasted thing into her mouth, the girl put the whole fucking thing into her mouth on purpose and I had to jump over and hook my finger into her mouth to prevent her from choking. I went ballistic. I yanked her to the naughty wall and made her stand facing the wall. She threw a fit and ran off. I picked her up and placed her back angrilly telling her that she has to listen to me when I tell her not to do something dangerous. We played back and forth wall for awhile before I finally caved in when she displayed remorse and yell cried, “I’m sorry, Mummy…I’m sorry, I’m SORRY!!!”
Five minutes later, we’re back to square one and she is doing all the things I tell her not to do again.
WHY??????????
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what yr doc friend is true. u have to follow up with yr threats or else the bugger will think u play play only. U can see on Supernanny, how the parents will have to deal with the “naughty wall/chair” thingy sometimes for over an hour. U cannot give up and show the kid u mean biz. I am reading this book now (I think Jenn mentioned before) and it is what yr doc is doing. dont want to eat then dont eat. go hungry until next meal but make sure next meal is good. They will soon learn. I am trying out on Ari now.
substitute the name T with DJ and you’ve just described my ordeal.
Is it mean to say I’m glad to see I’m not the only one dealing with this? I honestly have been at my wits end lately. I’m serious! Hugs to you. WE BOTH NEED ONE 🙂
p.s. i posted about this a few days ago, check out the great advice i received. needless to say, my son is winning the battle once again. *sigh*