This is a picture of my Mother’s tongue taken more than a year ago. If you looked into her tongue today, you would see that half her teeth are black, a third of them have fallen off and 1-2 have dropped off and embedded themselves onto the growth. The growth has also doubled in size and really, soon my Mom would have a mouth full of growth mass. Eventually, it would suffocate her, her tubes would shut down and she wouldn’t be able to eat at all. She is already skin and bones as it is. The cancer on her tongue is not only embedded with the two rotten teeth (mind you, the teeth are nowhere near their original homes!), it is filled with ulcers and open sores that bleed every now and then. To put a picture up is too horrific. I googled adenoid cystic carcinoma in tongue and there wasn’t an image that resembled what we have.
It’s been almost 12 years now that Mom has survived this cancer. When she was first diagnosed, some Doctors gave her 6 months to live. She has had the advice of Doctors from the UK, Australia, Singapore and of course, Malaysia. She has tried every treatment (medical and otherwise) there is that people have said will cure her, even the porcupine stuff. Our advise to her is just to enjoy what she has left of her life and pray for peace. I don’t like seeing her suffer. None of us like seeing her suffer yet to any stranger, nobody would have a clue that this was a woman who was very ill.
Mom cannot eat now because of the mass in her tongue, rotting teeth and tremendous pain. Not even morphine kills it so you can imagine the pain. She has a poor diet. She cannot even talk properly. Try talking with your tongue stuck to the bottom of your mouth with an XL size at that?
Tok-Tok reckons she has less than a year left to live. Mom’s will will fight for at least another year, she is one tough lady. She has fought so hard for almost 12 years for her children, for her grandchildren (the two little monkeys that I have) and has done a fabulous job fighting cancer.
Most times, we just shove the whole reality into the closet as it is the easier thing to do but sometimes, it hits us that a wonderful wife, mother and grandmother, will die soon. Then we talk about it, like most recently, Tok-Tok and I discussed it and we always end up crying. Always. What would we do without her? I know what Mom wants me to do. She would want me to be strong and keep my brothers together. She would want me to hold the fort and bring the family together like she had for so many years. Tok-Tok said we would still go on holidays together without Mom. Mom always says that as long as we have each other, nothing else matters. And she is right. I will do her honour by keeping us together. But you know what? Maybe it’s time to visit that miracle Church and ask God for another 3 years – would that be too much to ask?
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Who is Mamapumpkin?
Mamapumpkin is a former Design Architect turned Multi-Million Dollar Digital Entrepreneur. She sets out to prove to all that you can have anything and everything that you want; if you have that fire of desire burning within and the drive to work hard. Even better with much love.
Mamapumpkin has not only grown corporate businesses successfully in the past and doubled her salary 5 times over 5 organisations but has grown THREE BUSINESSES to 7 FIGURES within an 8 year period. She now shows others EXACTLY HOW after retiring her own husband from employment. He is now the official dog walker, family driver, chef and THE BEST FATHER to their two girls and THE BEST HUSBAND to the woman who CHOSE HIM!
Mamapumpkin is the girl who has nothing but fights for everything including YOU. She is idealistic in her desire to put unbelievable amounts of money and extrardinary happiness into the lives of good people so we can change the world together believing in happiness for ALL. She strives to impact lives authentically wanting to reduce poverty cycles and enable quality education for all and always supports the voiceless. She believes we can all have a life of our own desires to enable real contribution into the world. But first, one needs to understand what this all means.
A beautiful life without limits.
If you wish to learn how to propel your life forward guaranteed, be brave to take action. Mamapumpkin's purpose is to build people. Her gift is to help them UNCOVER their HIDDEN GIFTS. She operates fairly and always leaves an impression. You either love her or not and she is alright either way.
She is a living testimony that women really can have a lot. Being financially and time free has enabled her to travel the world anytime, anywhere, doing anything with anyone, as she spends most of her days with her children, having fun, supporting others wherever she can. Also having fun.
Whenever you write about your mother, she always come across as a generous and selfless person. A beautiful soul. From her hard beginnings when she gave birth to you (as mentioned in an old post), to her trumping the odds in her life, I can’t help but cheer for her… And I always think 1 day, if ever I were to bump into her (if I can recognise her from your blog pics), it is my wish to tell her this… “You may not know me but your daughter has written such beautiful things about you… As beautiful as it is, I believe none can capture the essence of you… I heard you are in pain… And my prayers are with you… Whatever lies ahead, I wish you peace and love…”.
My thoughts and prayers with you and your mom for better health in the days to come.
I stole this “title” for you. Love Conquers All
For the past 12 yrs, it was the love that kept her going.
Babe, would it be too cruel to keep her for another x number of years? Let it be natural as difficult as it may be. Your mum is right – she would want you to keep the family together. You also have S and I. Never forget that.
Hi mamapumpkin,
Be positive and that will keep you going !
Be strong.
Hugs to you! Your mum is in my daily prayers & she’s such an inspiration with her outlook in life inspite of her sufferings (from what I have been observing from your blog). She’s very very fortunate to have such a loving daughter & family and all of you have made her life very happy & that’s what made her last this long.
You are truly blessed that your Mom has been taking all that pain for the past 12 years all for the love of you, your daughters and your brothers.
My son only had 2 years with my Dad, I only had ONE month and my daughter none. You are truly blessed with 12 years. I wish I could have just one more month!
The week before my father died, he spoke of things we needed to do after he’s gone but I brushed it off, saying “Why do you talk like that?”. He actually felt sad when I said that but later seemed calmer when I said, don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.
I think your Mom wants the comfort of knowing that you’ll really make an effort to do what you’ll have to do i.e. be the tai kar cheh?
When my grandmother died the year after my Dad, my uncles were truly lost! They are in their 50s yet they fought each other like crazy and I really wanted to tell them, “You’re your only brothers left now. Yet you’re still fighting with each other?”
God bless your Mom. I’d love the chance to say hi to her. She’s such a cool lady and such a loving Nana 🙂
come, hug hug now. *beary hug*
your mum is one fighter and for sure, she has a strong reason to keep her going. Hugs to you and your very pretty mother 🙂
Your mum is sure one helluva fighter! She sure does not look like a cancer fighter. Just pray to God to do what’s best for her. Giving you a big hug and pat on back babe!
God is a miracle working God. You asked for 3 years, claim healing and restoration on her behalf. Mothers are truely a treasure.
yes, if we can have it our way, we would want our loved ones around forever. your mom is one courageous lady and she has achieved so many things in her life although she went through so much.
like you strongly put it, no one wants to see our loved ones suffering and yet it is so hard to let go. i pray that your mom doesn’t suffer. hugs to you patsy and i have no doubts that you will keep the family together!
hey dear…u got me teary reading this post 🙁
by just reading i can feel how sad & painful this whole saga can be… the thought of losing our mom is so unbearable, i hope God grants your wish with less pain for your mom 🙂 *hugs*
nothing will ever prepare you, Patsy.. I just pray that you’d be given courage. Meanwhile, pray for a miracle.. pray for more time, and that she’ll be as comfortable as possible. Prayers give us hope. During times like this, hope is the only thing that keeps us going. Wouldn’t you agree? Big hugs to you my dear.. I think about your mum often.