Last week, I brought T2 for her first play date ever. Yes, I know. The poor girl is already 5 and it was the first time ever that I brought her out alone without the overbearing T1 hovering over her, to her very own play date. Needless to say, she was shy initially and took time to blend in. T2 has the strangest personality. Some people she will just click with and most she will avoid. It has always been the same since she was a baby. A very few select people even upon meeting for the first time, she would allow them to hold her hand and walk her away or let them carry her but for most people, she would cry or run away. Weird huh? I could never suss out what kind of people she liked or took to versus those that she didn’t feel so comfortable with as they were all diverse as diverse could be. I could not form a correlation.
When T1 was a toddler, I had made the unaware mistake of calling someone else’s kid shy and the mother got very upset. It was then that I learnt why. Go on then. Google why you should never call a child shy. Apparently it makes the child fixated on the label and will actually turn out to be shy even when not shy. I’m not sure how much truth there is to that but we shall see, won’t we? I have seen T2 after not going to prepatory school, still being able to play very well with her new found school friends (and fighting too, haha). I have seen her very loud and boisterous amongst the friends she is comfortable with. So when she goes all mum and is quiet, I don’t think it is so much shyness but just being cautious and deciding if these are people who are safe.
So this exact thing happened at the play date. She was quiet but eventually managed to play independently with them but at some point, she suddenly came crying to me and didn’t want to return to her friends. I thought that was odd and that something must have happened so I asked her what happened or what was said to her but she wouldn’t say. She would just keep quiet and refused to go back to her friends which annoyed me as I was having a gala time chatting to the ladies. What is wrong with my child?! Just go and play already!
Long story short, she told me that evening that the girl who had helped her put on her swimsuit had accidentally zipped her chest and so I checked her chest and indeed there was a little chaffed skin. And that is why she no longer wanted to swim nor play with her friends. Sigh. She could have told me earlier and I could have fixed everything so they could all be happy and play together again. Not sure why she wouldn’t tell me or maybe she wanted to and I was too busy to care and didn’t really listen. *guilty* I felt really bad that night and decided to make it up to her this week.
As always, I need to remind myself to s.l.o.w. d.o.w.n. because my children need me and I love them more than anything else in the world. Life just needs to be balanced. All the money in the world without health, is a no go. All the health and money in the world without happiness, is also a no go. And worse, all the money and health and happiness in the world but you raise ‘bad’ children, is absolutely a no go for me. So come on down back to Earth, me. Let’s divide the time and set fair hours so that everyone gets a piece of you equally. Poor Hubs. I think he might be at the bottom of that list.