How does one slow down?

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Last week, whilst I was driving to Bangsar busy as usual about to meet a customer from Hong Kong to pass her some goods, I received a call from a lady saying she was from the Malaysian Insider. Oh fuck! I was so scared! I thought, fuck-fuck-fuck!!! Because just the day before, I had touched just a tiny dot on Malaysian politics and thought that perhaps now I was doomed for the ISA. It is no laughing matter OK? People can get killed doing shit like that. It turned out that actually, she only wanted something else. What a huge sigh of relief that was. Thank you Malaysian Insider for linking humble me. I am humbled. I am now awaiting the New York Times to link me. Heh. One fine day…….*keep waiting love, I say as I console myself*

Actually, it is not far from a dream that because just this week, the Hubs had a friend from New York down in KL visiting one of the large Malaysian developers in doing some design work. And he isn’t Uncle Dave, T1’s Godfather. He’s the guy we went to stay with at Long Island, New York. I can so see it happening……Izumio in New York City. Mamapumpkin in the New York Times. Oh yeah. *keep dreaming, baybehhhhhh….*

The pace has been exhilarating. Every time I say I want to take a step back, too many things happen and I just cannot. It’s in my DNA. I consciously have to put my phone down everyday when the kids get home from school and be with them and cook for them till they go to bed before I can start running again. So many enquiries, so many questions, so many orders, so many deliveries, I am going crazy! It’s a good kind of crazy but when is it going to stop??? One more month for the final count down and then I am REALLY going to stop. I am making enough money to let the business auto-run so I should seriously take a step back to work on my other projects. Like help others get to my stage. Yup. That is one of my missions. For EVERYONE who believed in me, next year would be my give back time. I am going to get them where I am right now. Slowly but surely starting with the top and moving slowly downwards giving special attention to the ones who make effort and have great attitudes. People have to help themselves first before we can help them. I have one girl who hasn’t even joined the business but have given me 3 people to sign up and they all have!!! All she did was shared 1-2 posts on Facebook and when people approached her, she just passed them to me. I will be helping this girl grow her business for sure. People do not realise just how easy it is in this business. If only they would give themselves a chance and listen to me. Tsk-Tsk. I’m not forcing them. Their loss not mine. The opportunity is there to grab. Just like Google Adsense. All there……

Here I am rambling away non-stop because honestly, I am avoiding work again and procrastinating. I have been eating a lot these last few days because Aunt Flo is arriving soon and hence I am on a juice fast over the next 3 days. It didn’t help that T2’s birthday had a gorgeous cake for me to pounce on several times a day. Yikes. Fail. I am so going to lose this bet with my boss.

To date, I have about a dozen books waiting to be read and laundry waiting to be done, a home waiting to be cleaned and oh, I need to decide the menu for the week. Since I posted my offer to hire a PA, not a single person has enquired. What a shame. But there is light for a part time driver so that’s cool. He could help me do some deliveries at least so I can build on other things. I have so many plans. Whilst everyone is stuck in their day jobs, being an entrepreneur is so much more exciting. Trust me!!!!!!!! Do not be afraid to get out of your comfort zones, WOMEN!!!! You are much, much greater than you believe yourself to be!!!!

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The other day I was having a conversation with my Italian friend and she said that Malaysians are really fucked up (I would have been insulted except I knew she wasn’t referring to me), referring to mommy groups in general. Her experience was that whenever there was a problem, instead of thrashing it out and communicating, Malaysians preferred to just keep quiet about it (and then bitch behind each others backs). Is it a cultural thing? Because in the west, they’d just thrash it out and get it over and done with, either agree or move on. Very cut and dry. But here, you never know if you’re coming or going and the problem with many people is that nobody wants to get down from their high horse with so much pride all the time. I could feel myself having orgasms whilst she was saying all that because for once, someone understood what it was like to be me! Could it be a cultural thing? Could it be that my thinking was just too liberalised and western for Malaysian women? Many people cannot take me. I am too strong or vocal maybe? Too bitchy? Whatever it is, I am where I am, so I just live with it. If you’re happy with me, good. If not, good also. If people could learn to be less emotional and more pragmatic, life would really be so much simpler. Really.

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Like you know how people are always afraid to step on family members toes? Don’t let the uncles or aunties hear me say that. But why? Why can’t you just be honest and spit out the truth painful or not? Why do we all have to hide behind our masks and build facades of pretence? Why be civil and smile when you do not really like someone? Why not tell the person why instead? Actually for me, I don’t have so much to say because firstly, I don’t judge. I am grateful for the Bartlett education that has taught me to see a hundred reasons why someone could be so fucked up so I understand. It’s not my place to judge anyone. I leave that to God. But if you’re in my face and in my way, I will not hesitate to tell you off politely. You can either take it or leave it. I am so done with being nice to the wrong people. And I don’t believe in buying or making stuff for everyone to win votes. I only do it when I really want to do it and that is when I am really grateful to you, or love you. Kindness and goodness from pretence is not my thing and I write so passionately about this because recently, I found out about this particular bastard who is so nice to people to win votes but behind closed doors, he is the nastiest, dirtiest bastard. Same thing for another lady who goes around smiling and greeting people who are useful to her and if you’re not, you’re not important. Next. I simply detest such people. If only I could name and shame them. One day I shall. I will bring down the entire team of nasties. My intuition has always been strong like my Mothers, Alhamdullilah.

Speaking of which, Tok-Tok called us this week on T2’s birthday. I was wondering if he wanted some Izumio. Hahahaha. But it was to tell me that he was having dinner at some minister’s house and how were the girls? Must’ve been a boring dinner for him to think of us, right? It is so interesting how things unfold one layer at a time……

So how does one slow down indeed when there is so much happening at every level on every scale? Simple. You just do. You decide and you do it. When I tell myself it is kiddy time, I switch everything else off and just devote my entire time to the kids. It is good to go back in history once or twice a week and pretend you didn’t have any internet, no wifi connections nor data. No communications at all with anyone. Just back to basics like in the good ol’ days when you were kids. It is that simple.

Thank you, God, for always guiding my path and for always making it more than I deserve.

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