Helping people without expectation

Helping people without expectation is something I learnt this year. Never too late, eh? I never used to expect much but would always smile when a thank you was offered. You know, just someone saying thank you or feeling the gratitude that you have extended yourself to help them? Yes, I kind of expected a thank you or at the very least, have the feeling that the person I helped feels thankful just by their smile. Until the people I helped stabbed me in the back. I found it so hard to accept that the people whom I had helped and had only good intentions for would have the heart to make ill of me. I suppose there are all sorts to make the world interesting. It hurt but I learnt real quick with the support of a few honest people.

So now I don’t even expect a thank you. Strangers ask for help on a frequent basis and wherever I can, I will help. Apart from the media who requests for interviews or University students who use this blog as case studies or my homeschooling journey experience, what brings me the most joy is being able to help individuals who are suffering and struggling. Genuine ones.

I am currently thinking of one such woman who resides in Brunei who reached out to me with her struggles.

‘Dear CS, if you are reading, this is for you.

Until today, we have yet to meet but I think of you frequently and pray for you and your children, including your third angel. I pray for your continued peace and happiness and I pray that everything is falling into place for you since 2012 when the stars aligned us to start a conversation online. You have made me so happy by trusting me with photos of your children and again I have joy in my heart when I see the progress you have made since 2012 till earlier this year. You go girl!!! If it is any consolation at this late stage, I wanted to share with you what I found out after my Mother passed away…….

She had accidentally gotten pregnant with me at the innocent age of 16  whilst in secondary school in Taiping. By the time it was SPM year, she realised she was pregnant. Being a sporty girl, not having her period was not uncommon so she had no idea she was pregnant till much later. But as soon as she found out she was pregnant, it was almost too late to do anything. However, when her Mother found out she was pregnant, she hit the roof and ordered her to go for an abortion, with me in her tummy at 7 months before asking her to leave the home. Being a senior nurse, my grandmother knew full well that if you went for an abortion (illegal then and still is, but probably much safer now), the risk of the mother dying was very high. This was not a C-section to remove the baby professionally. This was a backyard clothes hanger kind of abortion.

My Mom begged her father to allow her to keep her baby and so she was sent to Kuching (because my Grandfather was stationed there) to hide away from school and the shame of my stressed out grandmother. And then when my Grandmother had to visit Kuching, they posted my Mom to a convent in Singapore secretly instead to have the baby, and this is why I was born in Singapore.

After having the baby, again my Mom had to fight to keep me. When Grandma found out that Mom had had the baby, she gave the baby away to a Malay family who named me Lily. After 6 months, Mom begged and begged her father to get me back so I don’t know what stunts they pulled and fought to get me back after which Mom said they put a charm on the baby because the baby cried non-stop for a long time before settling…..

But due to the rage from my grandmother that Mom had done so wrong in having an illegitimate child, she punished Mom by locking me up in a room all day in a play pen and made Mom do all the housework and laundry for 11 people and she was only allowed to see me to feed me. The baby cried all day, of course…..till Mom could no longer take it anymore and ran away from home with me. She shared a little room with 2 other girlfriends and found a job at King’s Agency as a Secretary that paid her RM100 per month and best of all, allowed her to bring her toddler to work. By the time I was 2+, she decided that it was too difficult being a single mother as most times she had to starve herself just so she could feed me. Soon after, she met a man and married him…….

This wasn’t the end of her struggles but at least I turned out the way I did. So have faith that your three angels will be just fine. I am waiting to meet you, CS, to give you that big long hug. To always believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel even when you cannot even see a glimpse of it. It is a beautiful life indeed so we must all strive to see it and enjoy it the best we can. And if we can help another without expectation, the blessings we receive back are insurmountable. Trust me, I’ve been there. And God will know if your intentions are from the depths of your heart or with an agenda before showering you with these blessings.

As my Mom would say, “Allhamdullilah!”

Her last words on her last breathe were “Allahu Akhbar……”

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Who is Mamapumpkin?
Mamapumpkin spent 7 years in London committing crimes to gain her Bartlett BSc in Architecture. She spent 7 years as a Stay At Home Mom raising her children as documented in this Mamapumpkin blog since over 10 years ago and thereafter returned to the Corporate World stronger than ever. Her last job as Country Director of a British Railway Signalling organisation saw her getting ill with an aortal and mitral heart valve regurgitation and cancer. Through her journey from working to not working to working again, she sets out to prove to all women that they can do anything and everything that they set out to do; as long as they have that fire of desire burning within and the drive to work hard with oodles of love, passion and integrity.

Despite being ill, she has grown a network marketing business from little knowledge and experience in the otherwise infamously known MLM (Multi-Level Marketing) industry, racing from an income of ZERO to RM 100,000 monthly in merely 2 years. She is a firm believer of the MLM business model but realises the pitfalls too and understands how and why the majority of people would shy away from any MLM business.

She is now pondering the title of her new book, From Zero to 100,000 RM monthly in 2 years and has a sequel in the pipeline with the aim of helping real professionals succeed in the World of MLM. Always the giver, Mamapumpkin has supported orphans for years and has now extended her care to the sick, single mothers, and even struggling families. She believes that with the MLM business model, we can all have a life of our own desires to enable real contribution into the world.

A beautiful life without limits.

Mamapumpkin currently manages the Homeschooling Hub Malaysia on Facebook. She also runs Working Women Malaysia (not THAT kind of Working Women LOL), Mamapumpkin - Creating A Life of Abundance, and Funky Moms on Facebook to offer REAL support to all women who want career and life success. She is a living testimony that women really can have a lot. Being financially free has enabled her to travel the world anytime anywhere doing anything, and she spends most of her day to day with her children, reading and supporting other women.

For enquiries, please contact her at mamapumpkin at gmail dot com or WhatsApp her at +6012-2333840
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