The end of 2013 is approaching and the strangest things are happening. I know not what God has in store for me but I’m beginning to think that I’m wasting a lot of time doing any planning. For just as I am settling into my career path comfortably, I’m thrown another 5 lemons and the path I thought I was headed to has suddenly branched out.
Yeah, I have a lot of WTF moments.
Lately, I’ve been asking myself who I am. Really. Who am I? What do I represent? What is my purpose? Why am I here? Why are all these things happening? Why are all these people entering my life? Why am I so freaking blessed all the time? When is tragedy going to strike? It’s freaking spooky to say the least when everything goes just a tad too smooth.
My entire perspective has changed too. From the ambitious go-getter who believed that anything was possible, it’s now sure, of course anything is possible but is it really necessary? And the more I think about it, the more my answer is absolutely not.
Take T1, for example. She has her final year exams in a week and she has not studied at all. I asked myself if I should remind her, prompt her, encourage her, help her, motivate her. So I spoke to her about it and asked her if she really wanted to. I explained that she did not have to study for exams because I did not care for her to be 1st in class or last in class. That was entirely her choice. But I did want her to open her mind to the prospect of studying for wanting to acquire real life knowledge. No timeline, no rules. Just how she studies her History, with a lot of fun and play; yet learning, whether useful or not, it did not matter. Always learning. I told her that I was going to challenge myself to learn up all my bank account numbers and all our passport details because I am so sick of always having to open the safe and bringing everything out every time I needed to refer to them. I don’t even know if it is possible but heck I would try.
I also asked her if she was aware that if she put the hours in, she would get a better exam result and vice versa. She was but she didn’t seem to care. She said that she didn’t want to be last in class but she didn’t mind being close to last. That’s my T1 for you. And then she asked me if I ever studied that hard anyway?
The honest truth is no. I never did. And that is why I never was 1st in class, or the year. So when you put everything in perspective, considering that I did not study yet did fairly well for all my schooling life (got a Shell part scholarship, won a few competitions), was it not worth it that I got to spend my time living it up rather than mugging for years and years? Apparently my girl wants to follow my footsteps. She is so me.
I feel so surreal, like as if I am entering a new dimension of life. I keep remembering Sam saying to me, nothing surprises me, and I’m in that zone of been there, done that; and I really do believe that it is this ‘maturity’ of whatever you want to call it, is the it that is attracting these energies towards me. The mind is a powerful thing. It really is. And at the same time, I am spooked by it. I do not know if I am ready to enter another level of spirituality.
I think of my extended family, I think of my old friends, the people around me in my every day life. And I go to sleep with my thoughts without voicing any of them. There is really no need as karma is always at work. The good will receive good, the bad will have a time. I feel as though I am smoothly gliding along this side track on an observation deck as some people around me still try to compete with me, show off about their kids being better or them being richer etc.
That is so yesterday…….*yawn*
I’m more interested in reality now.
Today 3 people came up to me to introduce themselves and it was *I cannot find the right word for it, but it is definitely a positive one*. I say that because it was a private day out with my 2 girls and I did not care to get dressed up (in my quest for living simply) so my face was completely bare and my hair probably looked like a witch, and it was exactly this time that these people had to come introduce themselves to me. Usually, I’d feel aghast. Ashamed that they saw me in my nakedness, perhaps I think people only love me because I am pleasant looking. What more, I have people telling me that I only get jobs due to my connections or my pretty face or my boobs. Good friends, huh?
But today was different. T1 told me I was most beautiful without make up. I don’t think so but I’m trying to wing it. And I’m trying to convince myself that perhaps I could attract people with my aura, my heart, rather than my face. I truly wonder what those 3 people thought about meeting Mamapumpkin real life for the first time.
And then one family man, gave me the biggest smile when he sat down in front of my lunch table. So big that his large sized wife turned around to look at me!!! I quickly looked away in embarrassment like a guilty child and wondered if he knew me from somewhere?? It was SO WEIRD!!! And throughout that whole time, I refused to look up at that man because I sure as hell did not recognise him yet his smile, it shone at me like he was so happy to see me after a long absence. But really, I have never met him before. His wife was very pretty though, just larger than me. And they had 3 kids so a bit stressful when one of them spilled a drink. Anyways…….
Another soul mate entered my life. I feel gratitude. She’s like Sam in disguise. I am so comforted. I think God has plans.**************************************************************************
Who is Mamapumpkin?
Mamapumpkin spent 7 years in London committing crimes to gain her Bartlett BSc in Architecture. She spent 7 years as a Stay At Home Mom raising her children as documented in this Mamapumpkin blog since over 10 years ago and thereafter returned to the Corporate World stronger than ever. Her last job as Country Director of a British Railway Signalling organisation saw her getting ill with an aortal and mitral heart valve regurgitation and early stage cancer. Through her journey from working to not working to working again, she sets out to prove to all women that they can do anything and everything that they set out to do; as long as they have that fire of desire burning within and the drive to work hard. Even better with oodles of love, passion and integrity.
Despite being ill, she has grown a network marketing business from very little knowledge and experience in the otherwise infamously known MLM (Multi-Level Marketing) industry, racing from an income of ZERO to RM 100,000 monthly in merely 2 years. She is a firm believer of the MLM business model but realises the pitfalls too and understands how and why the majority of people would shy away (or zoom far away) from any MLM business.
She is now pondering the title of her new book, From Zero to 100,000 RM monthly in 2 years and has a sequel in the pipeline with the aim of helping real professionals succeed in the World of MLM. Always the giver, Mamapumpkin has supported orphans for over 30 years and has now extended her care to the sick, single mothers, and even struggling families. She believes that with the MLM business model, we can all have a life of our own desires to enable real contribution into the world.
A beautiful life without limits.
Mamapumpkin currently manages the Homeschooling Hub Malaysia on Facebook. She also runs Working Women Malaysia (not THAT kind of Working Women!), Mamapumpkin - Creating A Life of Abundance, and Funky Moms on Facebook to offer REAL support to all women who want career and life success. She is a living testimony that women really can have a lot. Being financially free has enabled her to travel the world anytime anywhere doing anything, and she spends most of her day to day with her children, reading and supporting other women.
For enquiries, please contact her at mamapumpkin at gmail dot com or WhatsApp her at +6012-2333840