A Mother’s Monologue

“Mommy, I’m SO BORED!!! Look up my nostrils, do you see a forest?”

Whilst driving home from Music School today, Tee whined about her boredom in the car. No Shit Sherlock, this girl needs to be entertained 24/7 round the clock! What does she think I am, Stanley the Clown on caffeine with Energizer batteries?

I told her that we’re not supposed to play in the car but she whined about what she should do then. In irritation, I said, “You know, you can’t be very smart if you get bored so easily. Smart people never get bored as they can always think of SOMETHING to do. Sometimes, it’s OKAY to do NOTHING!!!”

 ”But I want to do SOMETHING!!” Seeing that this was dragging on a bit, I decided to inject some creativity into her boring brain.

“Did you ever look at all those gates in those houses out there? Why are they all different? Have you ever thought about it? Why are some short, some tall, some metal, some timber?”

“Yes, we pass here all the time. I’ve already done that, it’s boring.”

“Bullshit. Tell me why then. Why does everyone have a different gate?”

“Because everybody is different. Some people are dark brown, some are light brown, some are medium brown, some are white, some are black, some are just plain brown. So they have different taste, just like some people like apples and some people like oranges.”

“So what gate would you like, a short one or a tall one?” I asked, still irritated that I’d been suckered into conversation that I really did not want to have on a hot Wednesday headache-y afternoon.

“I want a tall one!!! So I can keep out all the robbers!!!”

“Have you ever thought about those people who have the short gates? Why do they have short gates then”

“Because they are friends with everyone, even all the bad people.” I couldn’t help but laugh at that logic. She’s funny.

“Have you thought about cost? Would it cost more to have a short gate or a tall gate?”

“A tall gate!”

“Could there be another reason then that some people have short gates?”

“Because they cannot afford the tall gate?”

“Yes…..some people are so poor, they have no choice but to have a short gate. It isn’t fair, is it?”

“Ya….that’s why those people are friends with the robbers so the robbers can give them more money.” *Mommy faints and almost crashes car*

Obviously liking this, she continues, “Ask me more questions, Mom!!”

Change of subject without taking the robber/short gate theory further, “Which gate do you think is more expensive, timber or metal?”

“Metal!! Because we can get wood from the trees!!! If we want to get a wooden gate, we just need to get an axe and chop down the trees!!” says the green advocate.

I nod, then asked, “What about metal? How do you know that metal is expensive?”

“Because it is made in the factories……” to which I had to ask myself, hmmm…..where DOES metal come from? Interesting to note anyway that she felt that metal came from factories.

Running out of ideas, I asked, “So would you prefer a timber gate or a metal gate?”

“I want a TALL METAL gate!!!”

And at that moment, we drove into our parking spot.

PHEW!!!

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