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Meeting the neighbourhood friend
By bigpumpkin | December 30, 2007
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A wild one. A real one. Oh my God. I’m surprised at myself that I didn’t drop dead right there. For those who know me, you know how much I am terrified of all things slimy. That includes reptiles and amphibians of any country, size and form.
There are benefits to living beside a jungle - cooler and fresher air, better views, some monkey and squirrel entertainment (literally)…..and the disadvantages so far? Undoubtedly the damper air that gives mould to our leather goods. Until that night. I told the Hubs that I wanted to move out straight away. And I was dead serious.
That night just before we left for Chiangmai, I was recovering from a bad flu and had gone out to get myself a massage. On the way back, just 20 metres turning in into my home, from a distance my headlights shone on something big and black across the two lane road. I wondered if it had rained and a huge branch had dropped. My area is famous for that, old tree branches dropping; and I was thankful it hadn’t dropped on me! Then as I got closer, I noticed that the big and black thing was moving. I looked. And looked again.
The car headlights was three feet away and this thing that resembled a snake’s head was moving left and right, it’s eyes looking straight into my headlights. And then I saw it’s body. It had a ‘batik’ like pattern of brown and black curvy prints. And then, I froze. Freaked out. And reversed the car and thank goodness, there were no cars behind me.
I reversed and turned into another road. There was no way I was driving over a python!!!! It was about 15 feet long, the width of my big, fat thigh and crossing the road in a zig-zag fashion………very……..slowly………
When I approached a dead end, I brought out my handphone to call the Hubs. I dialled and dialled furiously and the idiot didn’t pick up the phone. I had all thoughts of being consumed by this big black thing and kept pressing the lock on the door, as though, you know, snakes could open door locks. Then my imagination took over. What if it had chased me whilst I drove away and clung onto the under carriage of my car? Oh my God. Oh My God. I started hyperventilating and brought out my asthma inhaler.
After 15 minutes, the Hubs was still not picking up the phone so I knew I had to drive home myself. I slowly drove back to ‘the spot’ and the python was nowhere to be seen. I moved my car back and forth until the next few cars drove into my road and followed quickly behind the next car.
After parking in my parking lot, I was still terrified of getting out of the car but that useless husband of mine was just not picking up his phone. What’s the point of having a phone when you don’t pick it up!???!!!
I said a thousand prayers, opened the car door and ran into my home.
Then yelled at the Hubs with Tee asking, “What happened? What happened, Mommy?”
And when she found out, she started teasing me pretending to be a slithery snake with her hand and started attacking and touching me all over and I was screaming like a mad lunatic. The fear, oh……the fear. I didn’t stop dreaming of snakes for a whole week after that and till today, I am now terrified of leaving home on foot. Even in the parking lot, I am terrified. If a snake that large can be twenty metres outside my home, it can very well be in the drain in my parking lot.
I need to move house.
I do, I do, I do.
Topics: My Boring Life |
2 Responses to “Meeting the neighbourhood friend”
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December 30th, 2007 at 4:43 pm
LOL..this is funny. Sorry don’t mean to laugh at you
If I were you, I would have fainted in the car already. Reminds me of that big huge giant snake movie which starred J.Lo. Forgot the name of that movie 
December 31st, 2007 at 5:50 pm
i know i know. i have phobia of snakes too. i would have fainted right there in the car, really.