« Regional Managing Director flies Qantas | Home | Getting more loans to pay for my dream home »
Getting reported for child abuse
By bigpumpkin | November 14, 2007
This evening, my little munchkin said she wanted to go out kai-kai. It’s becoming a real habit of hers not wanting to stay home. My only saving grace is that since she goes out so much now, she’ll actually want to stay home when she’s a teenager with rebellious hormones.
During her shower today, I managed to scrub off a long overdue tattoo on her arm but because my daughter is of part chimpanzee heritage, the final bits of tattoo sticker stuck tight onto her furry arm.
She hated this, of course, and being the fussy meticulous Virgo child that she is, whined about removing the leftover bits painlessly. I looked all over for alcohol swabs that we used to use on her belly button when she was a baby but couldn’t find any. I thought of bathing her in lighter fluid but the slightest spark would’ve blown up my baby. Throughout dinner, she whined and whined about needing to clean her arm and needing to go out to get some alcohol swabs that at one point I actually felt my ear fall off.
The Hubs and I could no longer stand it and took off to the Gardens, since we’d never been. We like killing several birds with one punch since we’re always catching the runaway train. After parking our car and putting Tee in her camouflage stroller, the escalator linking the parking lot to the mall was not working. There wasn’t a lift in sight either. So out Tee got and I carried her up whilst the Hubs carried the stroller up. Once we reached the top of the escalator panting and sweating, we looked around to see where we should head first when I asked,
“Well, what were we here to get again?” I’m so forgetful that one day I’m going to leave the house naked and terrorise everyone on the street with my Jabba bod.
In her loudest and most excited voice, the voice she uses every time she has the correct answer to something since she is such a show off, Tee shouted out with flailing arms and bulging eyeballs,
.
.
“ALCOHOL!!! WE NEED TO GET SOME ALCOHOL, MUMMY!!!”
Time stood still.
*hear your breathe*
.
.
Passer-bys who were no further than five feet away from us, stared and glared and didn’t shift their gaze a single degree. Suddenly the Hubs and I felt like the whole world had discovered our addiction and our secret to putting our hyperactive, loud mouthed daughter down to sleep every night.
“It’s alcohol SWABS, Tee” my mouth pronounced loudly and clearly, so you know, that everyone could hear me as well! “We need alcohol SWABS.”
And we skittered off quickly, like mice with stolen cheese.
Topics: Tee, my little pumpkin, My Boring Life |
3 Responses to “Getting reported for child abuse”
Comments
Comments protected by Lucia's Linky Love.
November 16th, 2007 at 5:41 pm
[…] By bigpumpkin | November 16, 2007 Did you guys read about my child abuse case? […]
November 16th, 2007 at 6:26 pm
Hheheheheh!!! that was funny..!! alcoholic parents..!! rum or vodka now..??
November 19th, 2007 at 7:05 am
haha…get the alcohol momma