Chinese Custom of Greeting Family Members

Chinese Custom of Greeting Family Members

By bigpumpkin | August 11, 2007

We attended 2 family functions today and another 2 tomorrow. All my side of the family. Am I busy, or am I busy?

The first was to celebrate a family member’s birthday. The crowd was international, consisting of professionals; Doctors, Architects, Businessmen, Financial Analysts, Gay Men. The party was held at a posh restaurant and typically resembled an intimate Tatler cocktail party so I stood out like Darth Vader in a virginal pool of Goddesses. I felt SO out of place and was probably the only person without a maid, hence carting my little sidekick along with me. I didn’t know anyone nor really spoken to anyone of them before and to be honest, didn’t have the slightest inkling to. For what would we have in common? What would they understand of toddler food negotiations and crayon rage? To me, they seemed only interested in alcohol, money and themselves.

None of them strangers came up to me so I didn’t make Tee say Hello to any of them superiors. Mind you, WE were the first guests to arrive. Talk about friendliness. But who am I to judge. I was just as lazy about going up to them.

Have you ever been in this position? Played the I wait for you - you wait for me laziness game?

The Hubs was much better than I and actually conversed with a few people. Maybe, I’m the snob.

Later, another party as a family get-together held at a relative’s home. Typically of Chinese custom, I went up to every single adult older than myself to greet them personally with Tee. There were 10 of them when we arrived. This is something I have been taught to do all my life, to always greet my elders personally by title or by name. In this case it was Hello Uncle 1, Uncle 2, Uncle 3 etc. The Chinese call the elderly with such honorifics to identify the relationship.

I noticed that the Hubs, being a complete banana, would just go up to a group and say a friendly HI to everyone. Not really noticing everyone’s face nor having the interest to acknowledge each individual the way Chinese people are supposed to. Traditionally, this was considered rude or that his parents never brought him up properly. Whilst I certainly don’t think that of him, I can only imagine what trains were crossing their minds. The Hubs response to this would be why should I care what people think?

So do I care what people think?

Absolutely.

I want people to think that Tee is a well-brought up, well-mannered litle girl of kindness and empathy. And for that to happen, I have to inculcate these habits from now. Even if it means saying hello to people we haven’t yet met. Even the snootiest of snoots. I was so good at networking 5 years ago. I could walk up to anyone to talk about shit. Literally.

But I’m so lazy now……………