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Our first real fight - shame on me!
By bigpumpkin | March 19, 2007
I love my daughter to bits. I really, really do. But there are days when I want to make her disappear. Such as last night.
After spending two whole hours trying to get T to sleep from 8-10pm, I finally lost it. I had things to do. Lots of things. And she really needed her sleep to be alert for school the next day. She was tired but kept pushing my limits, an inch further, every half an hour or so. Whenever I raised my voice a little, she would quickly scurry into her pillow and pretend to sleep. Minutes later, there will be movement on her bed, legs kicking like an octopus poked with cactus.
Another warning.
Then, “Mummy, why did Paddington Bear spill hs marmalade?”
I raise my voice again. This continues for TWO whole hours. Why did I even bother?
So I lost it, walked out of her room and shut the door behind me.
T screamed bloody blue murder. If you ever saw a cat being skinned alive, she was it, in flesh. I have never heard her scream so loud before. Crying is one thing. But screaming the screech of hysteria was enough to make me mental. Poor neighbours. I let her out of her room (mind you, this only happened for five seconds) and locked myself in her room instead. I needed that separation in case I grabbed her and flung her out of the window. She ran around the home screaming for her Daddy, who incidentally wasn’t home.
When I came out I summoned her to face the wall, all this while yelling my head away. I was SO mad. I was SO mad that this two year old thing was stopping me from carrying on with life. I was SO mad that this two year old thing was totally disrespectful and disobedient. I was just SO mad.
She finally fell asleep at 10.45pm.
What am I doing wrong? Today, my paeditrician friend asked when she saw very clearly that T was totally oblivious to my commands, “Isn’t she scared of you?”
Are they meant to be?
I’ve tried the soft approach, talk to her nicely and get no results.
Do share….
Topics: The Pumpkin life, Small Pumpkin, Simply Motherhood |
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