I’m not ready.

5 years ago, I married my husband after knowing him for 3 years. We met at the office as we both worked so hard & didnt have a life. 6 months after knowing him, he said he wasnt ready for marriage. Fair enough. I asked when he thought he’d be ready & he gave me a timeline. No commitments. I just wanted to have an idea. He kept to his word. After 18 months of knowing me, he’d decided he didnt want to wait any longer and got me a ring.

The first ring he got me was a ring made of a single weed from his garden. He plucked it from the ground and put it around my finger and tied a knot. “Until I can get you a real ring”, he professed.

My second ring was made out of tiny plastic beads & was pink. It cost him RM2.00 from an accessories store. Again he told me that I’d get a real ring one day.

On January 6th 2001, I was a proud owner of a platinum & diamond solitaire band. Was it worth the wait? You bet my sweet ass!

6 months after our ‘out of this world’ wedding, my husband said again, “I’m not ready” when I asked him about us having children. Not that I wanted children then but I just asked for the sake of discussion since everyone else around us were asking that blasted question.

 “When will you be ready?”

“I dont know, but not now.”

“Are we talking like 1 year, 3 years or more?”

“Mmm…I dont know. Maybe 1 year, maybe 3…but not now.”

“OK”

Exactly 3 years after my wedding day, our 1st child was born. It was the most beautiful thing we shared after our wedding day.

5 years on, it’s my turn to say, “I’m not ready.” But when are you really? And do you know when exactly you would be ready? Is it something you just play-by-ear & follow time till you ‘feel’ it is right & then decide you are ready? I’m talking about trying to conceive a sibling for T.

Boy, am I so NOT ready. As it is, I am struggling day-to-day with my very active girl. I am tired almost all of the time & I yearn for a life of my own outside Teletubbies, Barney, Thomas the Tank & Maisy. Dont get me wrong. I love what I do & I do not regret for a second what I am doing. But we moms still wish for breaks.

People say, “Oh….just have another. You’ll adapt soon enough!”. Well, they’re not the ones with baby poo smeared on one hand and a leg balancing another toddler, are they?

Then there are those who say, “If you have another, I guarantee you will lose weight.” That sounds like a nice proposition but what if I get severely depressed from not coping with 2 kids & end up eating double or worst, triple of what I eat now?

My mother says, “Better have one now while I’m still alive, so I can at least help you out.” Makes sense. She does have cancer after all & her days are numbered.

I’m not ready. But I’ve decided that one makes oneself ready when the situation calls for. And in my case, I have made a decision to be ready for T#2.

Oh God, help me if I am wrong….

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Who is Mamapumpkin?
Mamapumpkin spent 7 years in London committing crimes to gain her Bartlett BSc in Architecture. She spent 7 years as a Stay At Home Mom raising her children as documented in this Mamapumpkin blog since over 10 years ago and thereafter returned to the Corporate World stronger than ever. Her last job as Country Director of a British Railway Signalling organisation saw her getting ill with an aortal and mitral heart valve regurgitation and early stage cancer. Through her journey from working to not working to working again, she sets out to prove to all women that they can do anything and everything that they set out to do; as long as they have that fire of desire burning within and the drive to work hard. Even better with oodles of love, passion and integrity.

Despite being ill, she has grown a network marketing business from very little knowledge and experience in the otherwise infamously known MLM (Multi-Level Marketing) industry, racing from an income of ZERO to RM 100,000 monthly in merely 2 years. She is a firm believer of the MLM business model but realises the pitfalls too and understands how and why the majority of people would shy away (or zoom far away) from any MLM business.

She is now pondering the title of her new book, From Zero to 100,000 RM monthly in 2 years and has a sequel in the pipeline with the aim of helping real professionals succeed in the World of MLM. Always the giver, Mamapumpkin has supported orphans for over 30 years and has now extended her care to the sick, single mothers, and even struggling families. She believes that with the MLM business model, we can all have a life of our own desires to enable real contribution into the world.

A beautiful life without limits.

Mamapumpkin currently manages the Homeschooling Hub Malaysia on Facebook. She also runs Working Women Malaysia (not THAT kind of Working Women!), Mamapumpkin - Creating A Life of Abundance, and Funky Moms on Facebook to offer REAL support to all women who want career and life success. She is a living testimony that women really can have a lot. Being financially free has enabled her to travel the world anytime anywhere doing anything, and she spends most of her day to day with her children, reading and supporting other women.

For enquiries, please contact her at mamapumpkin at gmail dot com or WhatsApp her at +6012-2333840
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