Guilty Mother

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By bigpumpkin | December 29, 2006

If there were ever some powerful emotions that set forth in a woman on the onset of Motherhood, it is surely love, patience and guilt - in that order.

Last week, T and I woke up bright and early to send the Hubs off to work and then headed to our local playgroup where they were having a Christmas Party. Everyone commented positively on her new hairstyle and said how much it suited her. They even wanted to know where to get the marvelous pixie cut for themselves, not their children.

As usual, T played in the sandpit despite my complaints and got her jeans all sandy and damp. Then, due to her love for small babies, had to touch, pat and give more soft toys to a sleeping baby whose mother was frantically waving her hands around her baby to avoid T from touching her peaceful bub. Alas, T, my clumsy elephant foot toddler, tripped and kicked the left foot of the baby waking him up as his mother rocked him desperately back to sleep. After allowing her a whole truck of Dunkin’ Donuts, I tussled with T to leave the party for some grocery shopping where I got her a pink camera that she busied herself with making every stranger at the supermarket, “Smile! Don’t MOVE!! Smile! WAIT! DON’T MOVE!!!”

When we finally made it home, she refused lunch. Well, what did I expect after all those sugar donuts. Stupid Mommy.

Because she had wound me up ALL morning with her various scheming acts, including refusing to walk when I had 5000 grocery bags to carry, I raised my voice when I strapped her into her high chair and instructed her to EAT her lunch. I’d call out every 10 minutes to remind her that she was supposed to be EEEEEEATing her lunch whilst I put the groceries away and started preparations for dinner.

No reply.

Whenever I popped my head out of the kitchen to check on her, she’d give me that look.

That look that told me, “I’m very sleepy but I’m so scared of you, Mommy, so I’m trying to eat my lunch.”

When I finally chopped the vegetables I needed to and cleaned up, I wiped my hands on some freshly laundered tea towels and walked out to focus on my next task of getting T to finish her lunch. This is what I was greeted with: