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Have you ever had a backseat driver?
By bigpumpkin | September 13, 2006
If you have, you can totally relate.
I came into possession of my driving license when I was 17. All paid out of my own pocket money and 100% legal. I went through the motions - toiled through the specified number of driving lessons (despite a dirty old man for a driving instructor who had his fixated grin from start to end of our drives), took the idiot written exam and did my drive and park test with real JPJ officers, not bogus.
Just so you know, there are ways to getting your driving license here in much shorter steps. You could :-
a). sleep with your driving instructor (although if you are of the same sex, you may have to compromise and practise transexuality for a couple of weeks)
b). put USD100 in a little brown envelope 8″ x3″ and slip it into the notebook of your designated JPJ officer, exactly at the moment after you complete your three point turn.
c). send your twin for the drive test (the one who’s about to qualify for Formula One).
I have been driving now for 17 years. A whole seventeen years without a single accident. Without a single scratch on the car. Without ANY near misses. Zero. Nada. Zilch.
So when I have a backseat driver telling me to ‘watch that car on the left’ or warn me of the hump coming up, I tend to get just a little bit irritated. Since whatever it is they’re telling me, I’ve noticed like 10 seconds ago. Yeah honey, get with the programme. I do drive with my blindspot.
Then worst, when the backseat driver continues to rile me up by being the equivalent of an airplane pilot on auto-pilot except we’re on road. That’s when I really start to feel antagonistic…… like a rattlesnake about to strike. One more word and something will happen that will cause any backseat driver to shut up for the rest of the journey.
Today however, I had a backseat driver of a curious sort.
Tee and I had just sent the Hubs off to the train station and were rushing to my work place (I do volunteer work once a week at a mummy/baby organisation) and holy crap! I see in the horizon ahead, a field of stationary vehicles. With nowhere to turn, I feel myself tensing up. Tee hadn’t yet had breakfast and I had to start work at half nine.
As the car decelerated into a standstill, I let out a big sigh and started moaning about traffic jams, stupid roads and rubbish public transportation. I thought I was talking to myself when Tee went….
“Mummy go faster”
“I can’t, sweetie. The car can’t move right now.”
“Mummy put gas. Put gas…car move”
OK that warranted a laugh from me. I explained that the car DID have gas but we still couldn’t move due to all the cars in front of us. See that car in front of us? He’s not moving either. If he doesn’t move, we can’t move. We’re stuck. We’re in a traffic jam.
Pause…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
“Mummy BANG car. BANG car go away!”
Happy Birthday Tee! I am glad you are able to think of solutions to problems. And boy! am I glad you are not driving.
Topics: The Pumpkin life, Small Pumpkin |
One Response to “Have you ever had a backseat driver?”
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September 15th, 2006 at 2:02 am
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