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Bathroom Time
By bigpumpkin | August 26, 2006
15 minutes tops for me – I don’t do morning showers. I used to pre-baby but no more. In fact in 15 minutes, 10 is spent brushing my teeth really well cuz I love food too much to risk losing any teeth. If I throw in a shower at all, it’s an extra 5.
I do know some people however, who take a LOT more time in the bathroom. We’re talking sixty minutes…..even forty five minutes is way too long. Half an hour is about the max I can stand waiting. And even if I don’t have to wait, I still get curious. What exactly do they do in all that time???
A common toilet time thief is throne hogging. Some people can sit on a throne for a whole 45 minutes reading a magazine or the newspaper while waiting for ‘it’ to drop. Some say they cannot control their bowel movements and sometimes ‘it’ comes out a little at a time so they just have to wait for the end of ‘it’. Some just have so much of ‘it’ coming out that they need to stop half way, turn around to flush, then continue……
Other toilet time thieves include:
- Slapping on moisturiser…..in between toes and behind ears
- Styling pubic hair, tweezing nose hair and shaving eyelashes
- Killer baths – where you put your face underwater and blow bubbles through your nose
- Staring into the mirror and hoping your face will change
- Scrubbing the entire toilet with a toothbrush and lipstick
- Long showers with body scrubs and masturbation
Since we’ve established that these things never occur with the use of the toilet bowl, the bathroom sink and the bath tub/shower coinciding, whenever there is one person using the bathroom; it is then safe to say that we should have a new architectural standard where every bathroom is divided into the bathroom (where you actually have the bath or shower and/or a sink) and the toilet (where you ONLY have the water closet/toilet bowl and/or a sink).
After all, how many people like mixing water that they gargle in their mouth and the stuff that come out of their asses together in the same space?
Topics: The Pumpkin life |
One Response to “Bathroom Time”
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August 26th, 2006 at 5:23 pm
You’re right, they should be divided! I also shouldn’t have been eating lunch while reading that!!