Just as I pledged that I was no longer going to lift a finger to help anyone or do anything because I am so burnt out from this years activities in which my own kids have suffered, 1,000 calendars arrived at my door step to be sold. Fuck me.
I was in so much turmoil that day. I was ready to sell them 3 months ago but not now when I’d already decided that I was too burnt out to lift another finger to do ANYTHING. So the decision was to give it one last push, do my last deed for the year before I go off on a long sabbatical from people in general, or just push the job to someone else.
Not referring to calendar sales in particular but why is it always me, me, me? Do I have the word idiot on my forehead? It sure feels like it. What more, I get ingratitude and shit for a lot of the things that I do and I wonder why I do them because it is just that much more challenging when people are not grateful. When people have NO IDEA how you bend over backwards and do somersaults for their convenience and benefit yet still have the time to whinge and whine. OMG. I am so over people. I swear to God.
They’ve actually pushed me to the brink of depression. People have taken and taken and taken from me in every form. I am so tired.
I am counting the days to when calendar sales are over and I am going to take a whole month off from work and spend it entirely with my kids. The Hubs is always at work and comes home late every single fucking day so as far as we’re concerned, he is a non-entity. He doesn’t even make enough money to warrant so many hours at work and I really do resent him for not spending enough time with us. I really have no patience for people who waste time and go on for hours wasting other people’s time but alas, I cannot expect everyone to be as efficient as others. Everyone has their threshold of competence and in the bigger picture, you will only know where the majority of the Malaysian work force stands if you have worked with a wide and large range of people over a length of time. It is almost always the case of people thinking they are damn good when they really are not. I see it with my employees. I have about 20 staff. Some get on with it. Some whinge all the time. Some think they are underpaid. Some say they work too hard. Some are very good technically. Some are very good ass lickers. Some talk too much. Some are very supportive. Everyone has a strength and everyone has a weakness. But man, I have no patience for whingers. It is really quite simple. If you are not happy, the door is right there. Walk out.
I put up with so much crap that it is not funny. I’m tired. Hell, I am truly tired. I just want to stop to smell the roses for a bit and spend some quality time with my family. We don’t need the money really. I can live very simply, no need to make tons of money, after all what do you take with you to your grave?
OK, rant over and now to the gym I go.
Oh, and by the way, here’s something I posted on facebook recently regarding my calendar sales:-
Christmas Present to The Children of Myanmar
3 months ago, it was decided that we were going to sell calendars for 2014 to raise funds for the Children of Myanmar. These particular group of kids (Tessa’s best friends) were from the Hosana Home and kept getting evicted because they failed to pay their rent every now and again.
Penny Choong (Money Tree Financial Literacy) and I sat down with a plan on how we were going to sell these calendars over the 3 months. Alas, true to Malaysian spirit, the calendars only arrived at my doorstep 2 days ago. These calendars were printed in Malaysia but depicts ‘home’ in the eyes of the Children of Myanmar. HTC had loaned them some phones for the day and sent them out to capture what is ‘home’ to them. The calendars display their interpretation of home with a little caption of ‘home’ to each individual kid. The kids designed the calendars too so really, it is their work and we need to help them as they know well that they have to work for their own survival. It has on it the Public Holidays of Myanmar AND Malaysia, again exhibiting our togetherness in this journey since our kids for kids project earlier this year.
We are selling the calendars for RM15 each but please feel free to donate more to allow these kids to have at least one year of peaceful accommodation without having to move yet again with no stability in their lives.
If anyone can help me sell these calendars to family and friends, I would be most grateful. I have 1,000 calendars to sell. Lynette Yee is already taking 200 today but will travel to Myanmar next Monday 16th December to bring them the cash in USD.
My bank saving account numbers:
HSBC – 359068285025
MBB – 1644-9025-6705
PAYPAL – patsywoo at gmail dot com
If there is a budget you had for charity this Christmas, please help me remove these stacks of boxes in my own home as soon as possible and give the children of Hosana Home at least a year they can call their current home, ‘HOME’.
If anyone needs to contact me, my email mamapumpkin at gmail dot com and mobile 012-2333840. No spam and hate mail, please!
So it’s almost coming to the end of 2013 where I seriously want to de-clutter and take back my own space which means no more helping people, no more charity, no more listening, no more functions, no more favours, no more lunches, no more parties, no more anything. In 2014, I will only have time for my family. Selfish but true. It is for my own survival and I hope the world will understand. I feel a big weight lifted off my shoulders.
2014 is the year for my family, the one whom I have forsaken the last few years for. A few years ago, I had a relative who was in dire straits and I spent countless hours being with her (for a whole 2 months!) due to depression. My husband would get angry because he felt I should be sleeping instead of being with her till 5am in the morning just to make sure she did not kill herself, just to make sure she was secure in my presence, just to have somebody around when you’re really feeling like nothing in this world matters no more. I get so many of these sort coming to me and sucking the blood out of me that I can really no longer breathe, and this has been going on for years!!! Believe me when I tell you that I no longer have an ounce of energy to listen to anyone else’s problems anymore nor have the energy to offer solutions either. I am well and truly exhausted. It’s like being a free psychiatrist, something I think I am quite good at (minus the prescriptive drugs) but I no longer want it.
Don’t be afraid to still come to me though but be ready that I may turn you away. I have been solving my own problems since I left home so surely everyone has the ability to do it if they only tried. I’ve been in depression before. I know what it’s like but if you don’t give yourself a kick up your own arse and keep wallowing in self pity, continuing to be a victim, hey, you’re not going to move forward.
Thus 2014, I dedicate it solely to my family, an overdue gesture. My kids and my husband will have me back. Mama will not be out somewhere trying to save the world. There. I’ve announced it to you like it’s a pledge. There’s no going back now. I will NOT be helping you if you need help. There is a big world out there. Go find someone else to help you.
I’m going to focus on my home so I can finally de-clutter the home. Get rid of all those toys. Clean out the unimportant furniture. Get rid of unwanted kitchen utensils. You get the drift. I want more time to play with the kids, read, travel. It’s going to be ALL ABOUT US, 2014.
I’m not sure what is wrong with me. I’ve just returned from a long holiday in Jakarta where I got to rest and relax alone, where all I did was went for Bikram Yoga, ate clean, drank lots of coconut, read, slept, and literally just chilled and did nothing. It was a much needed time away to just do nothing as I have been over-worked and over-stretched with all my personal projects this year, plus the fact that I am ever obliging to anyone in need, I think I was burnt out. Strangely though, now that I am back in KL, nothing has changed. I am still tired daily. I feel mopey and I hate it. I went to visit the Doctor today to try to find out what was wrong with my body, why I am always so tired and she said to return tomorrow for a fasting blood test. Groan.
Recently, T1 has been making up little music jingles from her head that are so damn funny following the 2 weeks of advertisements she watched whilst I was in Jakarta. Yes, when Mama is away, the kids get to watch tons of TV!!! And what comes out of that? Remembering Milo Ads jingles and Maggi Mee jingles *faint*. Some of her jingles were pretty good that I thought it wasn’t a bad idea for her to make a career out of it. I used to work for a music jingles company (one of my first jobs actually when I was 16!) and we have a friend running a very successful music jingles company, so why not? She’d have to learn the lingo though such as what the heck a korg cm-100l clip-on contact microphone for tuners at musicians friend is!
Since some of you asked to see her essay, here it is! Don’t ask me why they liked it but, haha, they obviously did!
The Brief: Tell us about a moment of opportunity which changed the life of your family, community, country, continent or the entire planet.
Written By T1 (aged 8, birth date: 13 September 2004)
What is an opportunity? An opportunity is a favourable time or moment. Here are some examples:
1. Ice-Cream – I was eating ice-cream in a shop when my sister said, “I am full.” I volunteered to eat it up!
2. Rocket Launch – My father received an invitation from his astronaut friend in the US saying that he wanted my father and his family to see his rocket being launched!
3. Enjoying Simple Things – I took the opportunity to look out of the car window to see the view and enjoy the cool breeze.
We all have opportunities! It depends on whether we see them and grab them.
Myanmar Chapter 1
It began with an SOS call for clothes from a friend in Myanmar who said that orphanages there needed clothes! My mum said, “OK!” and we started finding out what to do. The 1st step was to see who wanted to give away their old clothes that could fit ages 6 to 23. The 2nd step was to collect them from all the families in KL and since Myanmar had no postmen, the 3rd step was to go there ourselves to visit the orphanages!
Myanmar Chapter 2
When we went, I learnt that not everyone is as fortunate as us Malaysians. I saw that they did not have any beds, shoes, food, clothes and they did not even have a proper home. They slept on the bare, splintered floors, walked barefoot on mud and rocky roads, and starved for hours and sometimes days because they did not have enough money to buy food! The children never felt at home because they had to move houses every time they could not pay their rent. If you were a landlord, if they didn’t have any money to pay rent, would you be kind enough to let them stay longer or would you kick them out?
Myanmar Chapter 3
I brought them clothes on my first trip to Myanmar. On my second trip, we helped them raise funds to buy food, fix their broken well so they could have clean (sort of!) water, build them a new floor, bought them mats, slippers and blankets, build a new wall because one of their walls had collapsed in winter, and build a new ceiling since the old one had holes and every time it rained they got wet! Later, we will educate them to give them a brighter future.
We did this through a Children’s Bazaar which we organised in KL on 7th April 2013. I spent a month sewing hand-made tissue pouches together with my Nana and Godmother, and sold them for RM10 each. We made 100 and they sold out! Whilst in Myanmar, I also drew some sketches about Myanmar together with the orphanage kids and we framed our drawings to sell for RM50 each! It was hard work as I worked from 10am to 3pm sharing my story on Myanmar and asking people to buy.
Myanmar Chapter 4
Most of all, we gave them love. My Aunty Eileen visits the 3 orphanages every weekend to spend time with them, teaches them children English, does art and craft, and plays with them. They love her and loved all the things that they got, the new floor, ceiling, well, wall, the food, and not having to move house all the time. Every time I go there now, they give me GREAT hospitality and they can speak a bit of English and I can count in Myanmar!
Baby steps like that changed the lives of the 3 orphanages in Myanmar. If everyone did a little bit first, our family lives would change, and then the community, and then the country, and then the continent, and then finally EARTH! So just put some effort in to change the world. It will become a better place. No more global warming, no more starvation, no more droughts, no more pollution, no more crime, and so on. No more dying people.
T1 is interested in taking drum lessons. So am I. But we live in an apartment and it is just too unrealistic to be banging away when we have neighbours so close by. Not unless we want to soundproof a room up and still, which room? We are bursting with space problems already as it is! Of course, when and if we finally can afford to buy ourselves a house, then I’d buy her the best drum for kids. We would have a ball!
I just had to post this for memories sake as I am so proud of my little girl. As you can see in the photo, she is THE shortest (in height) winner but also the youngest winner at 8 years old when she entered the competition for the Under 14 category. All my haters (yes, I do have them) are probably thinking, sure, I must’ve helped her…………
But the most amazing thing is, I didn’t. Not a single ounce of help. Why can’t people just accept and believe that a little girl is capable of great things? I’m not here to brag, just that I am truly proud of her. She isn’t perfect. She has a lot of imperfections and she has a lot of weaknesses but in this instance, she has triumphed with a Silver Award. The Gold Award winner from her school up there on stage is almost double her height!
Well done, my darling T1!!!
She was upset that she didn’t win the first prize – a trip to London! *smacks head* More than 11,000 participants around the entire world, yo!
So she’s going to try even harder next year. Good luck to her.
After the award ceremony, she performed splendidly in her concert as Jane in Mary Poppins. So damn cute.
Recently, I attended a Mindful Eating Workshop hosted by The Ideal Lifestyle School in Sri Hartamas which completely exceeded my expectation! I actually did not have any expectations but when I left, I felt so blessed to have attended it for it was not only a morning full of rich learning but time spent at a beautiful space that was filled with great energy with some wonderful ladies. Blessed am I, indeed. If you do get a chance to attend one of their workshops, I guarantee that you won’t be disappointed.
The Ideal Lifestyle School (also knows as TILS) is a group of 3 lovely ladies below, all experts in their fields, who will coach you on how to work towards your Ideal Lifestyle. Is there such a thing for busy, working Moms? Of course, there is. Nothing is Impossible and Anything is Possible. You just have to know how to get there and that’s exactly what these 3 ladies are here for!
May I present to you from L to R, Marissa Parry (Fitness Trainer), Tracey-Anne Holloway (Life Coach) and Alexandra Prabaharan (Nutritionist) from The Ideal Lifestyle School (TILS).
Here was how I spent my Shining Saturday with the TILS team:
Apart from being in awe of their new lovely premise, I was observing all the little details that they had so carefully thought out. Simply enchanting…….the colours, inspirational words, green plants, pockets of flowers, pleasant aromas, warm smiles, really positive energy.
We introduced ourselves a little and chatted informally. There was this little booklet of secrets for everyone who attended and it even came with a pen! Can you imagine? I wasn’t sure if you were meant to take it home or give it back when the class was over! Haha.
We started with everyone conveying what their food beliefs were, what food rules did you grow up with as a child? It is so important not to drown your children with ANY of these food beliefs or they will, like you, carry these beliefs and worse, practise them right up to adulthood. Not a healthy way to start, I can tell you. Food is one of my highest priorities for my girls. They are learning what is good for them and what is not. They are learning that they do not need to finish everything that is on their plate but to only eat till their full, but yet to only take what they think they can finish and if still hungry, to take more. They are learning the chemistry and compositions of foods. It is all important! Food is a Science! Food controls our bodies. Bad food causes bad health. Period.
Then we got to open our secret booklet and were taught how to assess our hunger. It is amazing how simple strategies in knowing how to control our life can and WILL make our life easier and better to control. I’m truly amazed. It is all a learned process. People just need to learn it and life will heck be a lot more fun.
Whilst we were going through our work, we were presented with Maca balls!! WOWEEEE!!! I hadn’t had any breakfast as I was busy first thing in the morning sorting out the kids so this was a great surprise!! What the heck are Maca balls? Ahhhhh……they are the most delicious, most nutritious, most power punched snack on the go. I am going to make myself some awesome Maca balls so that whenever I’m hungry in between meals, I won’t starve and can carry on till the next meal. So bloody awesome.
And not only that, my dear readers, coffee was served. Oh. My. God. This Ideal Lifestyle School Workshop was so worth it. So much incredible value for a priceless experience. I felt like I was at a fine dining restaurant in a posh hotel, seriously.
I just loved the little details…..
After going through a class of theory, we finally got off our booties to the professional kitchen. The first dish was a Mexican salsa starter kind of dish. Lots of little healthy crunches and a rainbow of nutritious colour. Great snack, great appetizer, great dish to serve guests if you ever entertain at home. We had it with some healthy Nachos.
Just look at the colour…..YUMZzzzz!!!
These were some of the ingredients they used. Expensive stuff.
We learnt how to bake a simple fish that tasted amazing simply with some lemon underneath baked with whatever you want to put on top.
And instead of eating the fish with rice, we learnt how to eat couscous which is much healthier than rice. Who the hell eats couscous? It is so tasteless! But not the couscous that The Ideal Lifestyle School taught us! It was a couscous Pilaf, an alternative to Indian Pilaf rice. I didn’t take the finished product because I was too busy learning how to make it but damn, it tasted good. It had cranberries and almonds and I cannot remember what else. Awesomely delicious.
Last but not least, The Ideal Lifestyle School taught us how to make a sinless chocolate brownie. You heard right. Now you can treat yourself without feeling so much guilt for half the calories.
After all that cooking, we headed back out to the dining room to be greeted by this gorgeous table setting!!! I was so damn sold!!! Not to mention I’m a sucker for pink. I keep saying I hate pink but every time I see it, I just fall in love with it. I’m just in denial because technically, it’s a weak colour and weak I am not.
When the food came out, we had to taste it and record every single bite. This is a strategy to really and truly taste your food rather than gorge it all down without a thought. That is why in fine dining restaurants, the dishes served are so minuscule that you wonder why you pay so much for so little but in actual fact, you do not even need that much to get full. If only you gave yourself that chance to learn how to really taste your food, one bit at a time. Every bite could be different as we experienced and learnt at the mindful eating workshop that day. Amazing.
And after being already sold on their workshop, they put extra icing on the cake when they told us that each of us had a plant to take home that day to remind us about the workshop.
What a perfect experience. I loved it and will certainly go back for more.
If you are interested to join the Mindful Eating and Cooking Workshop, their next class is on Saturday, 7th December 2013. Click their facebook page here for details: The Ideal Lifestyle School Facebook Page.
You will not regret it.
It is a wonderful, wonderful way to give something back to yourself.
These days, I spend way too much time on facebook to the point I’m wondering if I should just delete my facebook account. I would really much rather write meaningful stories and document them as work rather than read about what the rest of the world are up to. Isn’t that a more useful use of time? For one, I am way, way, wayyyyyyyyyyyyy behind in sorting out my thousands of photos. Secondly, all the photos that I’ve taken in order to write photo stories with? I just cannot be arsed anymore – read too lazy. There is just not enough time to do it all. My Mom is chasing me for photos of the girls. I do not even have time to download them in the first place. Damn. I really need to get my act together.
Work is hard. People forget that I work full time just because I work from home. Damn, it’s hard.
I need to get away from people. They suck up my time. There are so many updates with the Children of Myanmar yet I am so lazy to download the photos, resize them, crop them, then update everyone on their progress. I am just not focused anymore. What do I do?
I just wish I had all the time in the world…………………
Recently I stopped the girls from learning music because they seemed really uninterested and when that happens, I feel it is the teacher who is unable to inspire them, so instead of wasting more money (she wasn’t cheap), we stopped. If I was free and had the time, I’d be their piano teacher but I’m not unfortunately. For now, I’ll just let them be till they decide they want to learn the drums or the electric guitar before I get them a mixcraft at musicians friend to accompany their musical exploits.
Every now and again, I have a sit down to think about life and work towards getting my priorities in check. We all go through life with such big plans but I’ve learnt that at the end of the day, actually, your life has already been planned out for you by the big man up there. Seriously. As much as you want, you can plan, but I promise you, if it is not in your book, it ain’t going to happen.
When I was a kid, I always knew that I would finish school well. The reason for this was because Mom operated a home hotel where every one of her friends or family who needed a place to stay was welcome. Heck, we even had MY FRIEND FROM SCHOOL live with us for a year. My home was really the home hotel where food and lodging were free of charge whilst these people got back onto their own footing. I can safely say that at least a dozen people, maybe more, had lived with us for more than months at any one time. This added a lot of colour and variety to the kind of people we were exposed to and I guess I could see it positively as one of the ladies who stayed over was a local singer called Cindy who used to date a rich man. She told me on the bed one day, “Girl, you better study damn hard or you are going to be like me one day. No money and nowhere to go. All I have is my voice. All you have is your dimples. You’re not pretty but you have nice dimples. So study hard. I didn’t listen to my folks and this is how I’ve ended up.”
That hit home. In my mind, I was thinking, you stupid bitch. How can you tell a child (I was 10 then) that all she had was her dimples? And due to her stupidity, I swore that I would study hard to ensure I would not end up like her.
OK, I didn’t study that hard but I made sure I studied smart enough to get through to the next level at all times. Getting my priorities in check, eh?
Later, once I started working, my plan was to never have kids. I HATED kids. I am not kidding. I really did not like kids at all. They were a bloody nuisance. All I was interested in was climbing the corporate career ladder. I was ambitious and I worked damn hard. People always tell me they work hard but not until you put in 16-18 hour days consistently are you allowed to say you work hard. OK?! And climb that ladder I did. I owe this to one of my greatest mentors, AY, who believed in me and sent me out there to meet as many CEOs there were to meet and taught me the skills required to do great business. Kids? Heck, if I ever got married and needed to have them so be it. I’ll hire some maids (like my parents did) to raise them (like my parents did) and call it a day. Hot shot CEO in a skirt, that was what I was going to be.
And then what happened? I had T1 and I instantly fell in love with her to the point I gave up work forever……
I spent the most amazing 5 years with THE love of my life, doing every single thing with her sans helper, and I loved it. I loved cleaning poop, I loved toiling in the kitchen to cook for this little thing, I loved playing with her every single day. Till I got burnt out. I was never having a second child due to the bad pregnancy I had endured but then look what happened? T2 happened. I failed to trust my instincts.
Suddenly, I am back at work again, something I’d never though was ever going to happen. Yet, it has.
I could continue on and on, but the point again is, it is useless to plan. You can plan as long as you are aware that it will change. It is always good to have a goal to strive towards but be prepared that it can change. Now, again something which I never expected is happening.
Isn’t life something?
Someone asked me today if I have bought a bikini as I am going to be lounging by a pool sometime this month and eegads! NO!!! I can NOT be seen in a bikini!!! In fact, the last time I wore a bikini was 16 years ago on board a cruise ship! Isn’t it amazing how in just 16 years, one can put on more than 30 kilos and grow bust size? It’s true. I can NOT wear a bikini, if anything I can get a new swimsuit from Junonia as junonia.com has swimsuits for big busts. Haha!
Many a time, I am misunderstood. Sometimes I feel so little people know me but that’s OK. It’s OK to be misunderstood because what does it mean? Either people are stupid, close minded or just not experienced enough in life or I am a bad communicator.
I am not the most tactful person because I have been taught to treat others how you want to be treated. Thus with me, I want the cold and honest truth. No beating around the bush, no icing on the cake, no modelling of clay to make pretty, just tell it to me like it is. I don’t need anyone to be nice to me. I prefer people who dare to tell me that my daughter is rude. And truthfully, how many people do that? Well, I do ( to other people, I’m sorry). But sad to say, I don’t have anyone telling me such honest truths except maybe my Mom??? Or the Hubs???
Bah. I need to meet more people who will offer me truth. I have strong instincts that I have inherited from my Mom and many a time, I feel that people are just too nice. Yes, of course it is good to be nice, but not to the point you are being untruthfully nice. Is there even such a thing?
Yes, there is.
There’s something about Malaysians who want to be nice to people who are rich and famous, for example. Take the waiter at your local hotel. If you booked your table as a Datuk, be assured that your service is different from the rest of us commoners. Or maybe you come in with a string of bodyguards? Again, service is that much better. If you are a famous local celebrity? Same story. I have never understood it. This trickles down to society at large, not just between waiters and patrons.
There are a few friends of mine who are so nice to me and guess what? They are just fucking genuinely nice. I cherish their friendships even though I have done nothing for them yet I totally appreciate everything that they have ever done for me. And then there are some who approach me with caution. They are nice yet they tread carefully. I wonder why?! What could I have done or said to make them so cautious?
This makes me search internally because that is the first place I believe where I should be looking. What have I done or not done, said or not said, to allow such people to not see me as I truly am? I believe I am quite transparent yet private, in a warped sense. I don’t share a lot yet I share a lot.
An example, I can pretend to be in love with money just to assess the reactions of the people around me. Those who know me, know. Those who don’t, will misunderstand.
Some people believe in it, some people don’t. I belong to the party that does. I believe that wearing your own birthstone is not only beautiful but can enhance your life through the stone’s natural vibrations. My birthstone is the aquamarine and it coincidentally is the colour that I love too. If you don’t yet have your birthstone, why not get one from Reeds.com birthstone rings? If you don’t like rings, wear a pendant or get a pair of earrings. Or like some people, just carry it in your bag!
The perfect day out on a weekend would be to visit the special Silver Haired monkeys in Kuala Selangor, followed by a yummy dinner at the riverside whilst waiting for night before getting mesmerised by the fireflies at Kuala Selangor.
If you want to be safe to make a booking, the below sign board will give you the details.
Kids just had to roam about whilst waiting for the food to arrive.
My little monkey Tia, excited to see what fireflies were in anticipation.
Then sunset came…..
Tried to get a family photo with the sunset but failed miserably.
Finally got to eat……
I don’t like this life jacket, Mommy. It’s too uncomfortable.
A bit about the fireflies……
How much it costs…..
And off we go!!!
That’s what you see. DARKNESS.
OK, I’m just kidding. It’s because we only had a point and shoot so we couldn’t capture the fireflies, which were magical by the way……
After that, they just had to play with the local stray…..
And the night ended with a beautiful pink moon on our drive back home.
If you want to know what to do before seeing the fireflies, do check Bukit Melawati out for a lovely day with the family.
Apologies for the short and curt post. I’m really busy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No, I’m not thinking of getting a toy boy anytime soon but I do love boys toys. Ever since I was a kid, I was never a girly girl, very unlike T2, never liked Barbie dolls and such, and preferred soldiers and cars. Go figure, and as an adult, I am still keen on boys toys such as those from reidsupply.com where you have all those hardware store goodies! Maybe it makes me feel rough and tough playing with boys toys.
The end of 2013 is approaching and the strangest things are happening. I know not what God has in store for me but I’m beginning to think that I’m wasting a lot of time doing any planning. For just as I am settling into my career path comfortably, I’m thrown another 5 lemons and the path I thought I was headed to has suddenly branched out.
Yeah, I have a lot of WTF moments.
Lately, I’ve been asking myself who I am. Really. Who am I? What do I represent? What is my purpose? Why am I here? Why are all these things happening? Why are all these people entering my life? Why am I so freaking blessed all the time? When is tragedy going to strike? It’s freaking spooky to say the least when everything goes just a tad too smooth.
My entire perspective has changed too. From the ambitious go-getter who believed that anything was possible, it’s now sure, of course anything is possible but is it really necessary? And the more I think about it, the more my answer is absolutely not.
Take T1, for example. She has her final year exams in a week and she has not studied at all. I asked myself if I should remind her, prompt her, encourage her, help her, motivate her. So I spoke to her about it and asked her if she really wanted to. I explained that she did not have to study for exams because I did not care for her to be 1st in class or last in class. That was entirely her choice. But I did want her to open her mind to the prospect of studying for wanting to acquire real life knowledge. No timeline, no rules. Just how she studies her History, with a lot of fun and play; yet learning, whether useful or not, it did not matter. Always learning. I told her that I was going to challenge myself to learn up all my bank account numbers and all our passport details because I am so sick of always having to open the safe and bringing everything out every time I needed to refer to them. I don’t even know if it is possible but heck I would try.
I also asked her if she was aware that if she put the hours in, she would get a better exam result and vice versa. She was but she didn’t seem to care. She said that she didn’t want to be last in class but she didn’t mind being close to last. That’s my T1 for you. And then she asked me if I ever studied that hard anyway?
The honest truth is no. I never did. And that is why I never was 1st in class, or the year. So when you put everything in perspective, considering that I did not study yet did fairly well for all my schooling life (got a Shell part scholarship, won a few competitions), was it not worth it that I got to spend my time living it up rather than mugging for years and years? Apparently my girl wants to follow my footsteps. She is so me.
I feel so surreal, like as if I am entering a new dimension of life. I keep remembering Sam saying to me, nothing surprises me, and I’m in that zone of been there, done that; and I really do believe that it is this ‘maturity’ of whatever you want to call it, is the it that is attracting these energies towards me. The mind is a powerful thing. It really is. And at the same time, I am spooked by it. I do not know if I am ready to enter another level of spirituality.
I think of my extended family, I think of my old friends, the people around me in my every day life. And I go to sleep with my thoughts without voicing any of them. There is really no need as karma is always at work. The good will receive good, the bad will have a time. I feel as though I am smoothly gliding along this side track on an observation deck as some people around me still try to compete with me, show off about their kids being better or them being richer etc.
That is so yesterday…….*yawn*
I’m more interested in reality now.
Today 3 people came up to me to introduce themselves and it was *I cannot find the right word for it, but it is definitely a positive one*. I say that because it was a private day out with my 2 girls and I did not care to get dressed up (in my quest for living simply) so my face was completely bare and my hair probably looked like a witch, and it was exactly this time that these people had to come introduce themselves to me. Usually, I’d feel aghast. Ashamed that they saw me in my nakedness, perhaps I think people only love me because I am pleasant looking. What more, I have people telling me that I only get jobs due to my connections or my pretty face or my boobs. Good friends, huh?
But today was different. T1 told me I was most beautiful without make up. I don’t think so but I’m trying to wing it. And I’m trying to convince myself that perhaps I could attract people with my aura, my heart, rather than my face. I truly wonder what those 3 people thought about meeting Mamapumpkin real life for the first time.
And then one family man, gave me the biggest smile when he sat down in front of my lunch table. So big that his large sized wife turned around to look at me!!! I quickly looked away in embarrassment like a guilty child and wondered if he knew me from somewhere?? It was SO WEIRD!!! And throughout that whole time, I refused to look up at that man because I sure as hell did not recognise him yet his smile, it shone at me like he was so happy to see me after a long absence. But really, I have never met him before. His wife was very pretty though, just larger than me. And they had 3 kids so a bit stressful when one of them spilled a drink. Anyways…….
Another soul mate entered my life. I feel gratitude. She’s like Sam in disguise. I am so comforted. I think God has plans.
Bukit Melawati is a little hill at Kuala Selangor that is well worth visiting if you were thinking of visiting Kuala Selangor to see the magical fireflies. A perfect trip with kids over a weekend would start at about 3pm for a one hour drive to Bukit Melawati, then you either walk up the hill or take this train below. As I wasn’t aware how high up the hill was, I chose to take the train as it was hot and I had a headache whereas T1 walked with the rest of the family.
The hill is simple enough to find because it is right smack in the township of Kuala Selangor. They even have a Guardian Pharmacy there and it is exactly opposite these shop lots that you park your car before the climb.
As we took the bumpity train, this was our first view…….canons! Little did we know that Bukit Melawati at Kuala Selangor had such a rich history, a home to many of the Sultans of Selangor.
And as we approached the top of the hill, the view got better and better.
More canons! There must’ve been war up there! But it was so serene and beautiful…….
And the purpose for going up Bukit Melawati? To see these silver leafed monkeys. What’s special about these silver leafed monkeys? Their babies are born blond!!! I kid you not. It’s almost like they were inseminated by a foreigner……
See? This blonde monkey is baby to this silver leafed Mama. Really. He was sucking on her boobs.
T1 fed the monkeys, plenty of them. Until they all started walking towards her and she freaked out, like a gang moving towards her slowly about to attack her. I told her to stuff all her food into her pockets so they couldn’t see it. That worked.
There were so many monkeys all above on this tree and everywhere on the ground. I loved the sight of that tree……
Ten little monkeys, sitting on a tree……T1 and T2 make the missing three
The views are stunning……
So much greenery, so serene, fresh air all around. After walking this path, we got to the Batu Hamba (which I did not get a photo off on my camera!) but it is essentially where traitors and enemies were beheaded. I lay down on it to envision what it was like for the person about to die and was hoping that the Hubs’s camera would catch some spirits lurking around but no such luck. I guess everyone died happy.
We ended up at the burial ground of the 3 great Selangor Sultans but it was closed by 5pm so we didn’t get to go inside.
After we left Bukit Melawati to head for the Fireflies river, we spotted this quaint temple. I’d love to enter it one day, just to see what’s inside the cave!
Only 10 minutes away was the Fireflies River where we ate at this famous restaurant where you have to book in advance as it is always full. Come back for Part 2 to learn more about seeing the Fireflies in Kuala Selangor after climbing Bukit Melawati at Kuala Selangor.
I am still telling you that I have the best trainer in Kuala Lumpur. This exercise thing is addictive!!!
I am putting on weight and this is because my muscle mass is increasing but I am looking and feeling smaller and leaner. I have also learnt that doing exercise and even doing loads of it is one thing, but doing it RIGHT is amazing!!! I have never imagined to see such results in such a short time and this is because the best trainer in Kuala Lumpur knows exactly what he is doing and knows exactly what is right for the different types of bodies, metabolisms, bodily movements of each individual, personalities, attitudes and strengths and weaknesses.
I’ll be going on a bit about my road to fitness because I want it documented and I want to show you my success story. That’s how confident I am that this is going to work. It won’t take overnight and I’m eating more crap than usual but I still know it’s going to work.
Yesterday, I was feeling really blahhhhhh because I had only 2 hours sleep on Friday and barely 4 hours sleep on Saturday and 5 hours sleep on Sunday and then 9 hours sleep on Monday. I had a long lecture from the best trainer in Kuala Lumpur. Seriously, I should just call him the BTKL – sounds like a Subway sandwich.
He said that in order to get my body into good health, we’re not even talking great health yet (since my body is in real unhealthy shape, I’m a walking time bomb ready to have a heart attack), I NEED to have a balance of sufficient sleep, sufficient water, sufficient exercise and sufficient nutrition. 25% of each to balance it all out. Right now, I’m out of whack and I really cannot afford to be if I care about my health.
In the 30 meals that I eat, make 3 meals bad. Or rather, allow 3 meals to be bad. That’s 10%. OK. And in assessing my personality type, he said I needed to pre-plan my meals. That means knowing and deciding and planning what I will be eating rather than making impulsive decisions.
Yesterday, I was asked to squat with my hands up. This is one of the ways in which the best trainer in KL’s assesses me. My calves are a lot less tight now. Previously my heels would rise when I squatted, no more. Previously, I would bend forward very much, no more. Previously my butt stuck out, this is improving. So amazing to see progress so fast.
Plank – 1.5 minutes
Running up stairs – faster than condo lift 4 floors
30 minutes – 5km on treadmill, sprint-walk
PS – Follow my Best Trainer in KL story
I was frantically searching for white table cloth for T1′s birthday party last week and could not find it and was contemplating with getting a new table runner but I could not find anything that I liked! Why is it so hard to find some nice table cloth and table runners? Eventually I paid RM24 for some plastic sheet silver tablecloth from the party store and it was disposable but if you are interested in Burlap stuff, you can find burlap table runners here.